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New Beginnings
User Topic: Online Dating- do you Give Your Number or Meet First?
Confused1829
Member
Member # 32729
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

I'm new to the whole 'OLD' thing. I was interested in maybe meeting someone up (I think why banter back and forth, let's just meet in person and see if we click) but it seems as though people want me to text them first. I'd rather just write 'ok I can meet up but OLD is new to me, so can we make plans to meet somewhere and then do the phone number thing?' I just don't want to give my number out right away - but is that how it's done?

Do you hand out your digits before meeting someone?


Me: fBW 31
DDays: May 31 2011 & Aug 6 2011. Divorced November 14, 2011 (No Kids)

Posts: 282 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: New York City
notmeanymore
Member
Member # 9772
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

I used to have them give me their number and I'd *67 before I dialed which blocked my number.

These days I'm much less concerned about giving it out (and I've had no issues so far). Then again, I don't find too many people I'm interested on there either...


"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers

Posts: 870 | Registered: Feb 2006
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

I'm with notme, I was more cautious in the beginning but since I haven't had any difficulty with people being pests, I give out my number when I'm ready to talk on the phone or to text. When I'm ready to meet someone and they haven't made the first move, I will suggest it with something like "I like to meet pretty early on in this process. Would you like to get together for coffee or a drink later this week?" I think it is good to have phone numbers before meeting in case somebody gets delayed by traffic etc...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3127 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
peacelovetea
Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

I have a Google Voice number that I only use for this, so that they don't have my "real" number but we can text or talk. It makes me feel a little safer and if they get creepy or whatever I could just ditch the number easily.

I've only had a few dates but even in those few there have been "wait, I don't see you" moments when meeting up and it was han


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
peacelovetea
Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

I have a Google Voice number that I only use for this, so that they don't have my "real" number but we can text or talk. It makes me feel a little safer and if they get creepy or whatever I could just ditch the number easily.

I've only had a few dates but even in those few there have been "wait, I don't see you" moments when meeting up and it was handy to have a number at that point even.

[This message edited by peacelovetea at 9:14 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)]


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
damncutekitty
Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

I used to give out my number right before a meetup, in case the person needed to call/text if they had to cancel or were going to be late. But now that I have a smartphone, I don't think it's necessary since I can get emails on my phone.

And considering I still get random texts every now and then from OLD dudes who got nexted years ago, I think not giving out a phone number is a good thing.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49473 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Blackhair
Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday)

I will hesitate to give my phone number before we first meet, but again I won''t meet anyone till I emailed back and forth for a couple of weeks so I have a feel of what kind of person he is. If I see any red flag I will stop contact right away.

Same time google your own phone number as I used it for my business, so giving out my phone number means I give out a lot more information than I should.

So it is never wrong to be more cautious....


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 177 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Exit Wounds
Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, October 24th (Thursday)

I get their number and then I call them without blocking mine. After all, by the time I am ready to talk on the phone I have a good "feel" for them already (per emails).
Never had real problems....
THEN I meet.

Posts: 2485 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, October 24th (Thursday)

I have a dummy email account that I use if I want to pull off of OLD and continue to email.

By the time I give them my number, I have a decent feel to them. I do tell them before I give out my number and agree to the date, I request their full name (first and last) and that I will Google them as a precaution. No guy has had a problem with that request. Then I give them my number and we talk before the date at least once...

The only guy that got a little stalkerish, I just blocked him on FB and on LinkedIN, the two places he was bothering me. He left my phone number alone after the first day of me telling him to leave me alone...it was the occasional pinging on FB or LI that he couldn't seem to drop.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4136 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
GrievingMommy
Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, October 24th (Thursday)

I am waaaaaaaaaaay different now, after two years off the dating scene, than I was when I was newly back on the dating scene in July 2011 after my D. I used to chat/email for weeks and now I try and meet within a week or two. I'd waste weeks only to discover that in person it just wasn't a match.

I have no problem giving out my number after about a week. I haven't had any problems with it.

I do have a lot of guys asking about friending them on FB and I say no way. Too personal and too soon.

If you don't want to give out your personal number you can always use Google Voice or get a prepaid cell, etc so they don't have your personal cell.

[This message edited by GrievingMommy at 9:58 PM, October 24th (Thursday)]


Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, October 24th (Thursday)

I prefer a phone convo prior to a face to face meet.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4514 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 11