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Reconciliation
User Topic: 4 years ago..ugh
brkn_heartd
Member
Member # 30396
Helpless  Posted: 8:51 PM, October 24th (Thursday)

Rough week....4 years ago, this week in October was very difficult. I wanted to die...almost took care of it myself. He knew, I told him but he went deeper underground....

I have been trying hard not to let "A season" affect me so much, but I think my subconscious is showing it. He told me I wouldn't sleep close to him last night and every attempt to snuggle I moved away. I hate this....I feel like I have been stuck on the plain of lethal flatness for a while again....

Not looking for advice....just had to vent. I feel like a nervous wreck. Tomorrow is the worse day....an extremely painful day that was compounded by my Mother's Bday. It was the first Bday after her death, which made it doubly hard.

I wish the next few days I could go to sleep and wake up when it was over.


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
painfulpast
Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, October 24th (Thursday)

(((((brkn_heartd)))))


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1881 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, October 24th (Thursday)

((brkn_heartd))

Please be gentle on yourself. Certain dates can be harder than others, especially when infidelity-related dates mix with holidays, birthdays, dates of a loved one's death. A whole gamut of rough and raw emotions can happen, especially in the days leading up to a rough date.

If you can, try to find something beautiful and comforting about the day tomorrow, and cling to that.

We're here for you if you need to talk more. Hang in there. You have our support.


Posts: 6757 | Registered: Dec 2010
brokensmile322
Member
Member # 35758
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, October 24th (Thursday)

I agree. And try to go do something just for you.

Lunch with friends, splurge on something you've been wanting, treat yourself to a massage or mani/pedi.

Even a walk in a park. Try to find beauty somewhere tomorrow. Hugs!


Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl

"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."


Posts: 1452 | Registered: Jun 2012
brkn_heartd
Member
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, October 25th (Friday)

Thank you everyone! Today is better. My H noticed I was not myself this am. I told him it was a hard week. He knew why. He was very loving this am.

I had a massage this evening, and came home to the most beautiful card from him. He also wrote a very meaningful letter also. He also bought me some perfume that he used to buy me when we were dating.

It is better. Happy Birthday to my dear Mother, God rest her soul. I miss her so much. It is hard to have a trigger date combined with a loss of loved one trigger date. I will get through this week!

Thank you for the support.


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Topic Posts: 5