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User Topic: I conquered a huge fear
BrokenDaisy
Member
Member # 37063
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, October 25th (Friday)

The past 2 days have been extremely challenging as a single parent (sole custody.) My son got a horrible stomach bug and first was throwing up for a day and then horrible diarrhea for another day. He finally has some colour back in his skin and is sleeping peacefully. Seems like the bug is out of his system.

It was awful (It hurts me so when my son is not feeling well) but I also have a sense of achievement. I did it. ALONE. No help. It was one of my biggest fears - what if my son gets ill how do I cope alone? But I did. I am sleep deprived and bone tired but my son survived and I gave him all the love and attention and care he needed. I managed the doctor visit, pharmacy, meds giving, cleaning up (what a mess he's still too young to know to puke in a bucket), everything and I'm so relieved. I can do this alone. I have been doing this alone since he was born really. Why was this such a big fear for me? It feels freeing. My son will be okay. I can be enough for him. I'm not perfect and it would be nice to have some help (and get sleep!!) but I am enough.

I love this little boy so much. I'm doing this. I was so afraid I won't be enough for him... Conquering one challenge at a time!


Me BxW, him SA NPD WxH
1 wonderful toddler - sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
DDay 01/2012
10/2013 Divorced!!

Posts: 242 | Registered: Oct 2012
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, October 25th (Friday)

You're awesome, Daisy. You CAN do this!

Glad DS is on the upswing. Get some rest yourself!


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15379 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, October 25th (Friday)

Way to go!!! I was feeling the same way as you as I approached my divorce. Some awesome people on SI pointed it out to me that I've been doing it on my own all along... It really does feel great once you realize it yourself!


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4138 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
BrokenDaisy
Member
Member # 37063
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

Aaaand busy conquering another fear: ME being as sick as a dog and having no help... feeling quite sorry for myself currently. This is hard but I can do it! I've done everything else.

But Universe? Kindly stop throwing crap my way now please. I'm due for some peace!


Me BxW, him SA NPD WxH
1 wonderful toddler - sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
DDay 01/2012
10/2013 Divorced!!

Posts: 242 | Registered: Oct 2012
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

Aww, crap, ((((BrokenDaisy)))), this is generally what happened to me back when mine were sick as littles. There were usually 4 of us sick at once or in sequence and xpos working so many hours that he wasn't there to help.

It stinks for sure. I hope you can get the rest you need to feel better. At least DS feels better now. Is there a friend or family member could help out in some way?

(((BD and DS)))


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2224 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
BrokenDaisy
Member
Member # 37063
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

Thank you TBH! I moved far away as part of my NB and haven't gotten to the "make friends" part yet so no, no help. I do have one family member close by but they also have a little one so I don't want to get them sick. I'm fine however, I much rather be the sick one than have DS feel awful. We (DS and I) just had a nice nap so I'm feeling much better and have some strength again. I think the worst is over so no more pity party.


Me BxW, him SA NPD WxH
1 wonderful toddler - sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
DDay 01/2012
10/2013 Divorced!!

Posts: 242 | Registered: Oct 2012
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

Good job, mama!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9467 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Blackhair
Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

I had the same fear living along with rein boys under a year old, glad to hear you did it!
Big hug to the big, brave mom! It is so true that I have been alone taking care of them anyways since WS started chasing young chicks. I guess the fear is all in our head.


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 174 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
gardenparty
Member
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, October 27th (Sunday)

That is wonderful. A good mama who loves her child is more than enough. Remember conquering this challenge the next time you face one and you will get through anything.


divorced!

Posts: 2660 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
Topic Posts: 9