SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: It IS Final!
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 3:48 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

The magistrate said it would take 2-3 weeks for the judge to sign off. Guess the courts weren't that backed up as I received final papers TODAY, six days after the final hearing. They even got the dates mixed up and made it effective a day earlier than the final hearing date. Regardless, it is finally OVER!! I am no longer legally tied to that soul sucking POS!

I plan to call MIL as I feel a need to have one last, honest conversation (I know XPOS has lied to her) with her and to let her know this changes nothing between her and her grandchildren and that she is welcome to visit any time, but because XPOS sent that last text about "changing his mind" I plan to lay low for 30 days to allow the appeal window to close before doing so.

DD17 asked me just tonight how long I thought it would be before XPOS and twatbox get married. I told her two months, max...

I now get to really begin my new life and am looking forward to rebuilding my lost future. In honor of my divorce, I went out and splurged on a Coach purse, bought with proceeds from some of his shit I sold, to replace the seven year old Walmart purse that I have used daily while he spent thousands on his whores. I think I earned it!

My DS20, who is visiting this weekend from the military, is even trying to convince me to get a tatoo with him in honor of my new found freedom (XPOS hates tats with a passion and doesn't know DS20 acquired one recently that he shared with me). I am still on the fence with that one, but its not like I have to worry about XPOS's feelings, or anyone else's any longer!

This is very bittersweet, and don't really feel like I can enjoy it until the appeal window is over, but it is certainly a major step in the right direction! CS is a joke, but I really don't need it and didn't expect it since he was unemployed when this started. And he asks nothing about DD17 anyway so there is total NC. But since I got what I wanted, including the marital home (and all equity), sole legal, and primary physical custody with visitation left up to DD (which won't be any, and POS must pay all travel expenses if it does occur), I am content with the general outcome. My life and that of DD does not change (read:stability) in any way except for his absence and the stress and additional bills that went with him, 4,000 miles away. Playing the proverbial "game" of strategy and biting my tongue these past few months was well worth it, and no attorney's fees was an added bonus!

In the meantime, while DD and I are planning a celebratory trip to the Caribbean for her spring break, XPOS gets to worry about how he will afford diapers and formula for his new twatbox family! Poor thing!

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 4:06 AM, October 26th (Saturday)]


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1036 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 6:19 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

Congratulations!!!!!!!


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51954 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

Congrats Phoenix1!!!!!

I get you laying low...but hey, that appeal isn't coming, he swore he was calling the courts last Monday! I'm sure, he's such a prince, that he's waiting for you to send him the phone number because hey, it's too much work for him to look it up!

Happy shopping, happy weekend, and happy trip planning!


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5430 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

Post a pic of that big bling purse, Phoenix! Congratulations. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Jemima.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
Take2
Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

Congratulations Phoenix!


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

I am so glad you splurged on yourself, Phoenix. Great post! Happy New Beginnings!


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9548 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

Congratulations, Phoenix! So much sunshine ahead for you and your kids.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25073 | Registered: Aug 2011
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

Congratulations on your new beginning! Live the life you are worthy of!


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12144 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

Congratulations on your liberation!

*****twatbox family*******
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17341 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, October 26th (Saturday)

Congratulations!


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 879 | Registered: Mar 2013
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

I am doing cartwheels!!! Happy happy happy for you!! Celebrate!! Burn the walmart purse! Go out with your badass Coach purse!! Damn ... a Caribbean trip!! You know how to celebrate!

P.S. How did you get sole legal? That's amazing!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2146 | Registered: Oct 2012
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

Congrats!!!


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4753 | Registered: Feb 2008
surviving1963
Member
Member # 40393
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

Yay for you! Enjoy your new life without a ball and chain. Life on "your terms" from now on.

I can't wait to get to the point you are at!


Me: 50
WH: 50 pro cake-eater, NPD, SA
Married 33 years
D-Days 3-4-12, 8-19-12 (EA, probably PA)porn,ashleymadison, etc, etc
4 sons, 3 daughters
8 grandkids
Divorcing - finally

Posts: 118 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Utah
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

Congratulations! Welcome to your NB!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3578 | Registered: Oct 2011
Housefulloflove
Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

Yaaaay!! Congratulations! While you enjoy your new beginnings I hope his is filled with overflowing diapers and sleepless nights.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
momentintime
Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

Perhaps the appeal window will close on him before he recognizes the dates are wrong and he doesn't know he only has a month to file! YeeHaw, wouldn't that frost his buns!

Congrat. Next year at this time you will be well established in your new normal, him, he will be dealing with a small child and all that entails. Easy sailing for you, responsibility and hard work for him.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2941 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

Thank you everyone for the well wishes and support. It means A LOT! Of course, it is certainly not a perfect ending as XPOS destroyed my credit and also left me with a mountain of debt he created with his unending spending (the whole sucky 50/50 debt division thing), but I know I can overcome those in time. At least all my steps are now going forward, not the perpetual one step forward and two steps back that I suffered thru the marriage that was a constant source of frustration and resentment.

I am sure XPOS will be livid and full of questions when he eventually learns of our Caribbean trip, but he has no clue of my connections for affordable travel! I hope he turns green with envy while he sits in his rental house changing diapers! I should also mention he drives his big gas guzzling truck all over the place as part of his new job so I know that is hurting him as well - the same big ass truck he HAD to have though we really couldn't afford it (we're talking about 10-12 mpg). How's that mobile money pit working for you now, Genius?? I will enjoy my libation while soaking up the sun on a white sandy beach doing absolutely nothing but enjoying my time with my kids (the other two will join us if they can work it in their schedules)!

dmari, you asked how I got sole legal. Well, I put it in the document and never discussed it. The document does not explain what that means so XPOS would have had to look that up on his own, which he didn't so he likely doesn't even realize what he gave up. It made me physically sick to pretend to be civil to get him to sign, and timing was critical as twatbox was still on the periphery not yet exerting her influence, and I may have utilized a few emotional manipulation tactics of my own (after 30 years I do know a few things about him!). But what I lost can be overcome. I do think I should receive an Oscar nomination for my performance!

For those of you still struggling with the process, my heart and prayers go out to you, and may you all reach the end of your own hellish situations soon!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1036 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

I love this post.

Congrats on starting your new beginning!!!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4610 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

This is awesome! I can feel your relief and happiness coming through my iPad!! So glad you are well on you way to a happy NB Phoenix!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3557 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Topic Posts: 19