New Beginnings
User Topic: Edmr therapy yay or nay?
Helen of Troy
Member # 26419
Question  Posted: 3:22 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

If you would share your EDMR experiences whether good or bad I would appreciate it.

Posts: 4715 | Registered: Dec 2009
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

I'm very interested in this too...

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4614 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

I did EMDR about 7 years ago. It pulled me out of a 3-4 year chronic moderate-to-severe depression when no medication touched it.

I'm restarting it now with the same counselor. Will start it next week -- I've only just done a 'catch up / here's what happened in the last 7 years / intake' session on Friday. I'm quite excited. I have high hopes that it will help me with some past traumas.

So my vote is give it a try! If it doesn't work for you, cognitive-behavioral therapy oriented towards trauma is good too (there is evidence that EMDR and CBT are about as good, but CBT takes a bit more homework).

Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 844 | Registered: Nov 2012
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

I did it in the very beginning and it truly helped with mind movies, which in turn helped me get back to sleeping.

Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, October 26th (Saturday)


I did it. For me it worked really well with the mind movies.

The sadness etc is still there but it takes away the truly debilitating crying meltdowns. The thoughts about some of the worst things lose their sting. You will still feel sad but not fall apart all the time if that makes sense?

The great thing about it is that it usually only takes 7-10 sessions.

When I first saw it mentioned here I googled "surviving infidelity emdr" and found lots of threads about it on SI. Lots of responders seem to have found it helpful.

If you do decide to google it don't forget to click on "More results from" at the bottom of the first google entry. You will see many results.

My advice - give EMDR ago. You have nothing to lose.



Married 32yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 60yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2754 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, October 26th (Saturday)

Second-hand story:

My best friend's wife was literally hit by a bus. Her car was destroyed, bones were broken, concussions, and really bad PTSD.

Like, so bad, she could only ride in a car with a blindfold or focusing on her iphone the whole time, and even then, freeways made her shake.

Eventually, she white-knuckled herself into being able to drive on backroads, so her husband didn't have to take off work for every one of her many, many doctor follow-up appointments.

She still has serious health issues, some permanent physical damage from from the wreck, but the fear of being in a vehicle and driving on freeways was conquered, and a big part of that was EMDR.

Incidentally, her actual PTSD diagnosis was made by the same doctor who invented the term, and he was deposed for the lawsuit against the bus company.

I've hear EMDR doesn't work for everybody, and sometimes, getting through the therapy can be pretty intense as you process the events. But when it works, it seems to work pretty well.

Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5181 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, October 27th (Sunday)

getting through the therapy can be pretty intense as you process the events. But when it works, it seems to work pretty well.

It is intense, and I found that it works REALLY well! It's fast. The intensity is hard to gear up for, but the fast results are definitely worth it.

I do think you need to have a lot of trust with the therapist who's doing it.

Highly recommend!

Posts: 1275 | Registered: Aug 2010
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, October 28th (Monday)

Before we did EMDR, my therapist had me start DBT classes. She was worried that I would not be able to emotionally handle all the things that can get stirred up in EMDR sessions.

I am very glad I did both. EMDR worked very well for me, and the skills I learned in DBT were life changing. It was a long 2 years of therapy, but worth every minute as I was basically a whole new person afterwards.

Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Member # 23266
Default  Posted: 12:00 AM, October 30th (Wednesday)

I was really struggling emotionally after multiple ddays and three years of false recovery. I tried IC, ADs, workshops, and support groups. They all had helped in their way, but EMDR was the most effective in helping me get back to my earlier, happier self.

Me: BS, 56
Him: WH, 50
5+ DDAYS; 10+ OW
Two sons, 16 & 18
M 19 yrs - detaching to divorce
In-house Separation since 7/2012

Posts: 393 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: California
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, October 30th (Wednesday)

Damncutekitty, what are DBT classes?

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, October 30th (Wednesday)

I suppose technically it is group therapy, but it felt more like classes to me.

Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Topic Posts: 11