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User Topic: Need to vent
burnedcanuckEMS
Member
Member # 35813
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, October 27th (Sunday)

I am not sure if this belongs here or in another forum but I need to vent. My divorce has been final since Jan. Since that time my ex H has kept my dog because I no longer own a home - I love in an apartment thats "no pets". He begged me not to give her away and said he would take care of her.

He 'was' living happily ever after with his ho-worker he cheated on me with and they moved out of province about a month ago. In the past couple weeks he has been sending me random texts about the dog. I had a feeling something was up. No surprise I creeped her FB and it would appear they are broken up. He is moving back here. Last time they split up he called me begging me back I told him it would never happen. I think thats what he is up to again. I am really stressed, I would block his calls but I am worried about my dog.

What makes him think after putting me through hell during our entire relationship including before, during and after marriage that I am interested in him at all?? He knows the dog thing is holding me hostage. I just want to scream at him that its his fucking fault I don't own a house anymore. I can't buy my own house because financially they are out of reach for me on my own!! I just want him to fuck off already. I am dreading him moving back to this area!! He wanted the divorce because he thought life with the ho was so wonderful, now he is finding out otherwise.

No part of me will ever go back to his abusive bullshit. I appreciate that he is keeping my dog but thats about it. I am finally enjoying my freedom but in the end he still has a hold on me. I hate this shit. I don't know how to deal with this. Do I go no contact? I won't answer his calls, I only accept texts right now. Anyone else out here in SI land experience anything like this? Where your ex tries to get you back?


Me: BW 38, Him: WH 37
M: 07/07/07
DDay: 06/09/12
Divorce Granted on December 5, 2012 - fasted divorce ever (thanks to my good lawyer) and I am not looking back with ANY regrets!!

"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"


Posts: 254 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Alberta
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, October 27th (Sunday)

I'm a little confused. Were you willing/planning on giving the dog away when your XWH asked to keep her?

If you had given her away you not have any more contact with her, she would be someone else's pet. Why isn't that the case here. You gave your dog to XWH. She is his responsibility now. Unless he wants to give her back to you and you can take her, I do not see any reason for you to have any additional contact with him. If somethign happens to the dog, it is his responsibility to deal with it. There is no reason for him to seek out your guidance or bother you with details. She is his dog now.

If you stay NC with him and black his phone, then there is no opportunity for him to try to suck you back into his drama.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3432 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, October 27th (Sunday)

Hey Canuck,

Check out this song. I hope it brings you a smile.

http://youtu.be/cwBhuLcxSng


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2112 | Registered: Jan 2013
burnedcanuckEMS
Member
Member # 35813
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, October 28th (Monday)

Thanks Pass - that was very cute!

And yes, I was willing to give her away but only because I thought I had no other choice. At first my mom was going to take her but within a week was too stressed as this would be her first indoor dog. And he begged me to let him keep her.... I have been thinking about this and I think you are right he is using her as an excuse to pull me into his drama.

We couldn't have children so this is especially hard for me to accept. I also realize I have been stalling. I have looked at a few houses but I a, scared to make the leap on my own to purchase. A nice one within my budget came on the market this week, fenced yard, would be perfect. I am scared but going to go look at it. Wish me luck. Being divorced sucks, it makes decisions like this very difficult!


Me: BW 38, Him: WH 37
M: 07/07/07
DDay: 06/09/12
Divorce Granted on December 5, 2012 - fasted divorce ever (thanks to my good lawyer) and I am not looking back with ANY regrets!!

"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"


Posts: 254 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Alberta
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, October 28th (Monday)

Good luck with the house. I hope it's a perfect fit.

Posts: 35933 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 5