One thing that stood out a lot is talk of guilt, directly after false R ended.
When I'm consumed with a thought about the A, I tend to turn to reading. The web has some interesting things on the topic, but one aspect pegs the XPervert to a T. It talks on Wikepedia of "projection", which is exactly what he does.
This is the blame that the WH puts on the BS, if I read it right, and it's apparently a way of warding off guilt. If a problem is made the fault of someone else, a person who actually did the wrong apparently can try to stave off guilt.
I thought this was very interesting and it helped me immensely. It said that it's a defense mechanism.
So now I search for ideas on how not to let this happen or to combat it. I already do somewhat and it's not easy- the XPervert will call it "arguing". It's not arguing, though, it's the truth he simply does not want to hear.
I didn't know if this would help anyone else, but it gave me a lot to think about and made me feel an ounce better about myself. Some of the blame game is simply false and very easy to know is a farce, but some is very well calculated.
Wikepedia is questionable, as a resource, granted, but sometimes they have the same info as other places. It's a "grain of salt" kind of site, and possibly same with the concept, but it gives something more to do than just being upset.Ashland 13
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge