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New Beginnings
User Topic: 10,000 steps back! I feel Stupid
APRIL2008
Member
Member # 19690
Sad  Posted: 10:33 AM, October 28th (Monday)

I hadn't gone out in such a long time but with all the halloween celebrations goin on, my friends and I attended one. Its a group of us and for the firts time in months we were all together.
All I remember is the alcohol going around and around and everyone insisted on more and more. It was too much for me I ended up so bad. I am so embarrased. I can't believe I eneded up like that.
While going home I cried and cried I don't even know why. The worst thing is I ened up calling X, cried to him bad didn't really say anything I just cried.
He text the next morning "Good morning.I hope your feeling better"
That made me feel even worst. 2 days later and I feel sooo stupid the last person I ever want to call when I am down is X.
Then today looking through my phone I realized I texted a few people I shouldn't have. There is this guy I have been talking to seems like we were texting and I told him how messed up I was, I feel so embarrassed I don't even want to talk to him anymore .
I really thought I was over this stage the drinking the crying the being stupid like this.
I know better than to think that alcohol is the answer to the memories but it really wasn't my intention to get so bad.
2x4s awaiting


Me BGF28
XBF 29
DD 10
DS 7

“Was it hard?" I ask.
Letting go?"
Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn't real.”
― Lisa Schroeder


Posts: 525 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Arizona
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, October 28th (Monday)

((((april))))


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4202 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, October 28th (Monday)

No 2x4s sweetie; you've already beaten yourself up enough.

Maybe it's a good idea to go out more often with your friends--make time for you. That way you won't feel obligated to do a year's worth of celebrating in one night...

(((((April)))))


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20281 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, October 28th (Monday)

(((April)))


Posts: 35848 | Registered: Mar 2011
NaiveAgain
Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, October 28th (Monday)

LOL...sorry, no 2 by 4's from me. I've done my own share of drunk texting. Shake it off...I don't think anyone takes that stuff seriously. I have sent some seriously strange texts while I was out drinking....including one of the top of my boobs with a paste-on tattoo given to me from the band... I have one friend who ended up crying under the table every single time and another one who ended up telling a cop that he needed to leave the establishment one time....damn! I do miss my crazy friends!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15288 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, October 28th (Monday)

((((April))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25717 | Registered: Aug 2011
APRIL2008
Member
Member # 19690
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, October 28th (Monday)

for me to have called X. Thats where the issues starts. I am hearing it from him right now...how dare I call him drunk don't ever do that again I made him worry. BS.
and I sent a text apologizing to the guy I am talk to...he was very cold said its ok


Me BGF28
XBF 29
DD 10
DS 7

“Was it hard?" I ask.
Letting go?"
Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn't real.”
― Lisa Schroeder


Posts: 525 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Arizona
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, October 28th (Monday)

Please don't beat yourself up. We all make mistakes. You learned from it and now it's time to move forward. Today is a whole new day.

Posts: 35848 | Registered: Mar 2011
Confused1829
Member
Member # 32729
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, October 28th (Monday)

(((April2008)))

Don't be so hard on yourself! We have ALL done this. In fact, it's so common that several apps have come out on the market to help us out!

http://textholdem.com/
http://www.stopdrunktexting.com/

It happens. I finally had to delete my ex's number in my phone, but then I would remember it off memory so that didn't help either. It is hard, but whenever I make mistakes like that, I try to forgive myself, learn from it and move on. I realize I have a drinking threshold so I try to alternate more with water and limit myself to just 2 or 3 drinks. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't (what can I say, we've all had an epic happy hour at one point, right??)

If the new guy doesn't get it, he just wasn't the right guy for you. And don't let your ex beat you up for it either. It happens.

Good luck and feel better!


Me: fBW 31
DDays: May 31 2011 & Aug 6 2011. Divorced November 14, 2011 (No Kids)

Posts: 282 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: New York City
msk99
Member
Member # 29293
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, October 28th (Monday)

No need to beat yourself up over this, sometimes situations get the best of us and stuff just happens. I don't think there's many people who haven't had a night like this.....my hand up, been there, done that.


BS (Me): 40 STBXWW (Her): 40
M: 15 Years, 2 Awesome Boys
Divorced

Five simple rules of happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.


Posts: 712 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Alberta
ladies_first
Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, October 28th (Monday)

All I remember is the alcohol going around and around and everyone insisted on more and more. It was too much for me

So, while feeling "motivated," why not set a personal limit?

2 drinks, or whatever, and then turn to water for the balance of the evening?


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
NaiveAgain
Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, October 28th (Monday)

I am hearing it from him right now...how dare I call him drunk don't ever do that again I made him worry.
Hey! If he hadn't been such a jerk, you wouldn't be drunk texting him like this anyway. He is the one that needs to suck it up.

If the new guy doesn't get it, he just wasn't the right guy for you. And don't let your ex beat you up for it either. It happens.
And yes to that one. If the new guy is so judgmental that he can't deal with you having a bad night, how would the rest of your life go?

I've been with my new SO for 10 months now. He was the friend that helped stop me from drunk texting my XSO from time to time when I was trying to break up from him. So my new SO knows what I am capable of and he sure doesn't judge me for it.....

It is more fun when you have nights like this to poke fun at yourself...don't take it too seriously!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15288 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Thefly559
Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, October 28th (Monday)

shit happens , we all have been there , I am sure I do not have to reiterate that drinking at times like this is not good. We fall , we get back up! Believe me I know if I start drinking just once or a buzz I will probably break down or break someone!!!!! be careful with those "friends", if they know your emotional state they should not be pressuring. I am sure they meant well but most do not understand the pain of the betrayal.. no 2x4 here just a good lesson. I am sorry


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 678 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, October 28th (Monday)

April, I just read your profile - AYFKM? Your XWH thinks HE has any room to take the judgment road? Honey, all you did was make a few drunk texts/calls - he got a DUI - plus he's a cheater! My only comment is "consider the source before you take his judgment too seriously."

It was one night and a few drunk calls - get back up on the horse, move forward and remember this for the next time you're out and about.

((Hugs)) It's all okay.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, October 29th (Tuesday)

I kept away from booze for some time because I was worried about the rage/hurt lurking underneath - lord knows there was enough on the surface.

When I did have party nights I handed my phone to my GFs and asked them to change the PIN until I was sober. At first it was necessary but then it was just funny. Everyone got in on it.

Dust yourself off and get back on board the NC wagon. Chances are you'll keep away from the booze for some time now. Always a silver lining.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
ItsNotUitsMe
Member
Member # 21966
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, October 29th (Tuesday)

Don't beat yourself up! BTDT! Can't take it back so don't spend to much time worrying over it. Learn from it and move on.

I find that if you don't put too much emphasis on it neither will anyone else. And really, who cares what EX thinks!


Posts: 1039 | Registered: Dec 2008
APRIL2008
Member
Member # 19690
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, October 29th (Tuesday)

Thank you everyone. I can still feel the shame but trying not to focus too much on it like some adviced.
I never replied to X so that ended there.
The one guy I am talking to just went on like nothing happened.
I have had a few talks with some dear friends that gave me some of the same advice and showed that they cared so that makes me feel alot better.
I just had a really bad night. I can usually handle myself but for now no alcohol


Me BGF28
XBF 29
DD 10
DS 7

“Was it hard?" I ask.
Letting go?"
Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn't real.”
― Lisa Schroeder


Posts: 525 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Arizona
summerain
Member
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, October 30th (Wednesday)

April, I have done much worse. On one drink. The amount of regret I have... jeesh it's astounding. But I always got over it a couple of days later.


OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 18