I'm not sure where to post but I thought the good people in D/S could help. (Story: not married, together 6 years, wedding planned for next summer, he left june 2013, dday a few weeks later, we have been complete NC for a few months).
I remember when he first left I wanted him back so badly I would do anything, anything, sell my soul if needed. It didn't work, and eventually I thought I accepted that we were over, although I knew I was still hurting and grieving. But this weekend I went backwards.
I just wanted to see him, talk to him, and in my heart, ask him to come home. If I'm honest, I wanted to call and beg him back again.
I didn't. What I did instead was re-activate facebook and look him up, which I haven't done in ages. I was shaking.
I don't know what I wanted out of it. The worst thing: it almost looks like he and OW, who he was, in his words, "starting
a new relationship with" aren't together anymore. There's no sign of her, even in his birthday photos.
Which makes me feel even worse. So, she didn't turn out to be the love of his life after all? But he's still obviously done with us.
I don't know how to deal with it. I feel like I was tricking myself into accepting we were over all those months.
Now I'm not sure. How did you all do it? How do you stop loving them? How do you let go? How do you stop wanting it all back? The person I'm most angry with is myself. Why do I still want him back? 2x4 me, maybe?