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User Topic: XW might move away in a couple years
ProbableIceCream
Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, October 30th (Wednesday)

My XW casually mentioned that in a couple years once her new husband finishes the degree he's working on they may need to move for him to find a job.

I get that people do this sometimes and that this is a necessity, but wow... I feel like she's talking about abandoning her child.


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Pacific Northwest
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 6:42 AM, October 31st (Thursday)

Do you have joint custody? Or sole custody?

As in, she''d be abandoning DD or angling to take her with them?


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3059 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 7:53 AM, October 31st (Thursday)

angling to take her with them?

Do not just assume that your xw is planning to leave your dd behind. OTOH, don't 'borrow trouble' for something that may not happen since this is still a few years off.
I just dealt with something along these lines. Stbx had been inserting *I might be moving* into messages every so often. I would make clear that the kids were staying here. I gave my L the heads-up so that she wouldn't be blind-sided. And then a couple weeks ago, he announced in court that he was moving and wanted to take my youngest with him. He was told to go through the process of requesting that change. A couple of days later, his L says that stbx is now NOT moving.

And btw, you feel like she's talking about abandoning her child. Because, according to that conversation, she is. Nice, huh?


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7942 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
7yrsflushed
Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, October 31st (Thursday)

^^^What gonna said. Give your L a heads up just in case. Do you have sole custody? Keep documenting who does what and when with your child. It may come in handy a few years from now.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
D hopefully official any day now, off to check the mail again.

Posts: 1899 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
ProbableIceCream
Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, October 31st (Thursday)

I have primary custody, and it's joint legal. She has my daughter about 36 hours a week (which matches the parenting plan pretty closely). She didn't seem to want any more than that. I think she sees my daughter as someone who's fun to spend a little time with here and there but otherwise too much trouble, whether she realizes it consciously or not.


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Pacific Northwest
ProbableIceCream
Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, October 31st (Thursday)

I have been documenting where my daughter is since January, except for about the past 6 weeks. I'll start documenting again.


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Pacific Northwest
Topic Posts: 6