User Topic: Do you ever just feel hollow?
Member # 37550
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, November 1st (Friday)

Is there ever a time when you feel hollow after hearing what your WH has to say?

Like, I feel hollow in my arms and chest and legs, but in the pit of my stomach I feel pain, like anxiety and anger.

I don't know; it's what I asked for though, right?


And then when I hear information, I just feel like saying, "You know what? I'm done with this stupid, f@cked up relationship. I can't do it anymore." But it's just incredibly hurt.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

Him (31): Taurus517 (17 mon EA/PA); others
Me (27): 3mo EA/PA (kissed once)
One too many D-days
(Full story: see profile)

Posts: 230 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Atlanta, GA
Member # 40568
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, November 1st (Friday)

All the time recently, but my hollow is head-to-toe. My heart and my head just feel empty.

It's as if I'm watching a movie from a distance. I'm completely detatched and unemotional.

WH talked for hours last night about stuff that was really painful for him and I'm glad a response was not required from me becuase I just had nothing to offer.

[This message edited by neverdidithink at 4:02 PM, November 1st (Friday)]

Me: BW 52
Him: WH 55
Married 8 years
4 20-something his and hers kids

Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9

Posts: 338 | Registered: Sep 2013
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, November 1st (Friday)

yes I feel exactly like that. Thank you for putting it into words.

The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1402 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
Member # 38103
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, November 1st (Friday)

Just twice a day - day time and night time! Hard to feel moved by WW new found expression of feelings after giving it away for 15 of our 17 year M.

The pit of the stomach pain was described as thousands of butterflies dieing!

Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013

Posts: 675 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Socal
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, November 1st (Friday)

Every single day.

Every minute of every single day.

Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 37550
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, November 1st (Friday)

The butterfly reference is very accurate.

And I already have crazy anxiety attacks out of the blue in my day-to-day life so this entire whatever this is has amplified that.

Him (31): Taurus517 (17 mon EA/PA); others
Me (27): 3mo EA/PA (kissed once)
One too many D-days
(Full story: see profile)

Posts: 230 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Atlanta, GA
Member # 41150
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, November 1st (Friday)

"Hollow" is a very accurate description.

It sucks when she's here. It's uncomfortable.

It sucks when she is gone for the weekend, like now. The mind movies run non-stop.

"Hollow" indeed.

Follow your BRAIN.
Your HEART is stupid as shit.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Oct 2013
New Member
Member # 41302
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, November 11th (Monday)

What can one do about that feeling? Just be left alone?

WH-that's me (37)
Super amazing wife (39)

1 child

Posts: 32 | Registered: Nov 2013
Member # 41303
DOH!  Posted: 6:01 PM, November 11th (Monday)

feeling that right now! Never knowing if Im coming or going. I know I will never be the same person again, I may get better with time but I will never be the same. Some days I feel so empty and hollow Id just like to curl up in a ball somewhere. Knowledge is power! I will never allow this to happen to me again.


Life is not measured by the breaths we take
but by the moments that take our breath away.

Posts: 216 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: canada
Member # 40791
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, November 11th (Monday)

I definitely feel like that right now too. I am sorry that you and everyone else are feeling like that as well. :( It's a horrible way to feel.

(((ShockedErica11))) and hugs to everyone else as well.

Me: BGF - 29
Him: WBF - 32

I broke up with him and now I am trying to heal.

Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie.

Posts: 118 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Sacramento, Ca
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, November 11th (Monday)

I do especially when its quiet, when I have down time that I used to treasure, now I dread it. I try to keep my mind busy but at night, I can't shut my brain off. I fall asleep from pure exhaustion now, no longer lying there relaxing and drifting off to sleep. I hate night time.
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank

Posts: 5142 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Hollow and alone -

Whether wh is here or not - we can be in the same room and I feel alone. Very, very alone.

Hollow pretty much all the time when I think of wh. I am ok interacting with my children.

ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 477 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 17090
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Yeah, I felt like that yesterday. WH was in tears about something and all I felt was hollow. I had to fake having empathy and I am normally a very empathetic person.

BS 52
WH 55
son 13
ddays 9/27/07 and 9/1/10

Posts: 764 | Registered: Nov 2007
Member # 27275
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Hollow and alone -
Whether wh is here or not - we can be in the same room and I feel alone. Very, very alone.

Hollow pretty much all the time when I think of wh. I am ok interacting with my children.

This is me too!!!!!

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Canada
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)

Yes, hollow and empty during the day most days.

Then anxiety at night, when I'm trying to sleep.

WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
New Member
Member # 41052
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)

Yes. Hollow. and empty. I feel it in my heart. Like it is caved in and deflated. I get depression episodes too where I feel this way the most. From what I understand this is a natural response. Especially in the beginning. I just hope it goes away with more time. I am only one month out from DDAY, but I see major improvement from the chaotic crazy emotions I went through in the beginning.

D-Day: 10/10/13
D-Day 2: 4/29/14
Length of PA: 2 yrs, 2nd PA: 6 months
Married 4yrs
Together: 8yrs
One beautiful 2yr old son

Posts: 31 | Registered: Oct 2013
New Member
Member # 41131
Default  Posted: 12:08 AM, November 13th (Wednesday)

Yes. Hollow is such a good description.

Though, there are times, when it's really bad, that I feel like I'm floating. Not in a good way. Like I've become untethered. I can't tell what's real and what's not and my hollow self is just floating away from reality.

Physically and mentally, I can feel this way. And it's horrible.

Me: BW - 36
Him: WH - 38

Kids, yes.

Currently in Limbo, possible R. WH says he wants R. I'm not convinced.

Posts: 48 | Registered: Oct 2013
Member # 37146
Default  Posted: 12:43 AM, November 13th (Wednesday)

Empty and detached is how I have lived the last year since Dday. I have no recall of a year ago this mind had to put itself in protection as I was in so much pain emotionally.

It is sad to miss a year of my life after missing 5 years of my marriage when my WH left me emotionally in his affair. Never would I have thought a body could exist without existing in the state of reality as I feel I have for the last year....and my best friends know nothing. A few know that things are different about me...I have withdrawn from previous activities, loss weight, avoid going out with the girls and never share anything.....but they would never guess how I really feel, no one except those in this club can.

Not sure if absence of feelings is scarier than all the hurt and betrayal reaped upon my soul???

Posts: 102 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Somewhere in USA
Member # 37951
Default  Posted: 1:49 AM, November 13th (Wednesday)

Count me in!!!
Hollow for a year now.
Can a person die from a broken heart?

BS-me 45
married 11 yrs, together 15
DS13 DS9
Dday May 2012 EA
False R... Dday#2 11/30/2012 PA same MOW

The opposite of love is not hate ... It is indifference.
seems I'm on the 15 year plan

Posts: 70 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 40474
Default  Posted: 1:51 AM, November 13th (Wednesday)

Is there ever a time when you feel hollow after hearing what your WH has to say?

Oh yeah, I feel hollow when I'm not feeling angry, pissed, hurt or enraged, or when I'm not feeling anxiety, pain, indifference, sobbing, etc. Hollow is in the mix.

I actually kinda like hollow when it hits because it makes me have flat affect for what he might be telling me, or even if we're having a conversation (that means he talks, and I reply with a word, grunt, or short phrase). I show no emotion because for me, hollow (for now at least) does not include pain, anxiety and anger.

I look at him as if he was a clod of dirt that was tracked into the house. I know the look is dehumanizing, but I don't really care. I know that "look" is disconcerting to him, and a part of me revels in it. It's like I can look at him and he is nothing. This may change, of course, as I realize I am in the process of becoming something more than I was.

[This message edited by Hope2B at 1:52 AM, November 13th (Wednesday)]

Me: early 60s
Him: 65 yrs old, LTA w/a pro$titute
Married since 1980, no children
DDay: Feb. 25, 2013
Trickle Truth Days: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)
His affair--says it was only 8 times 1x/mo, then found out it was 7 YEARS 2-3x/mo or maybe ever 4x/mo

Posts: 359 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: out west/west coast U.S.A.
Member # 32046
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

hollow and empty...after all this time. I realized it's because a part of me is gone and there is a hollow space in my heart and in my head now. The echoes of all the things that he said and did bounce around in that space hurting me over and over again. I pray some day that hollow space will fill in again, but I am not holding my breath.

Me 45
FWH 47
DS11, DD18, DS21(they know nothing about A)
Married 23 years together 25
Dday 09/24/2010
"You can't control how others behave, you can only control your reaction."

Posts: 980 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 21