User Topic: WH "went off me"
Member # 33927
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, November 1st (Friday)

My WS said he'd gone off me in the time leading up to his 16 month affair.

Do you think it's possible that he can really get over this feeling. We're going into our 4th year in R but I often wonder when he is going to go off me again.

I often think he isn't really attracted to me, that he has to put effort into it.

Anyone else feel the same?

Married 20 years.
1st D-day my birthday 2010
2nd D-day our 20th wedding anniversary
3rd D-day Nov 2010

Posts: 71 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: UK
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, November 1st (Friday)


I don't have wisdom, just hugs.

Have you guys gone to MC at all? What has he done to show that you mean more to him that waxing and waning attraction? How can he make you feel safe?

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11216 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, November 1st (Friday)

My bet is that he went off himself.

If he changes from WH to 'great partner', you're relationship can prosper. What's he done to change - NC, IC, MC, honesty, transparency?

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10341 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Topic Posts: 3