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User Topic: Not holding up their end
ArkLaMiss
Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)

It amazes me that I ever believed he would do the things he said he would. Always has an excuse as to why he didn't read, or didn't do a poly or doesn't post on SI.
I guess the hours and hours of cheating don't require him to do one thing to fix/change/work on. Amazing that he thinks stopping cheating is the answer. That it proves he's changed.
Yeah, fixing things obviously is not part of his plan. Not that he ever had one. Obviously.


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1203 | Registered: Jun 2007
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)

What amazes me is that I continually chose to believe he would do what he said he'd do, despite me being betrayed by him time & time again. I chose to go along with his lies, idiot that I was.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9830 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)

Yeah, we just keep setting the bar lower and lower and lower so that if they do the tiniest thing it's supposed to get a big fucking 'you are the greatest' blah blah fuckity blah.

I'm sorry he's such a dickwad.

((((ArkLaMiss))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2616 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
RightTrack
Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)

This was my mantra during the last 12 years of marriage, "Lower my expectations until I could be happy."

It turns out I couldn't lower them enough. WH was willing to go to the scum sucking bottom.

My new mantra is , "Make the bull pull the cart." I think men respond to being needed.

I couldn't have made that transition without threatening and planning divorce though.


Posts: 630 | Registered: Sep 2012
1956
Member
Member # 33045
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, November 3rd (Sunday)

they just never get the damage they have caused by their selfishness so they continue to do so not even seeing it.
maybe it's time to do a bit of a 180 on him.
Be nice but don't put the focus on him anymore put it on yourself, if he sees you not just accepting his behaviour then maybe he will realize he will have to pull his weight or he will lose you…..
try it for a month see if there is any difference in him…….

Posts: 65 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 5