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User Topic: Selling my ring?
Healing2012
Member
Member # 35238
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)

I'm not sure where I should post this, but I will try here.

First of all, I was diagnosed with pneumonia yesterday so I'm in bed feeling crummy and feeling sorry for myself (I'm on steroids again and they make me feel...just off). Anyway, I have been living in the house since WH and I separated. It went into foreclosure one year ago, but since we have equity in it we were advised to try to save it. We did (with the help from my parents).

We are behind again. I called to make one payment today and found out it will be in foreclosure in 48 hours and they won't take a partial payment. They need all $4600. I don't have that. I have $1500...maybe a smidge more.

We are trying to get our house on the market and my DS and I will be moving into an apartment. I will pay my parents back, pay down some debt, and then get myself back on track. I like the plan. It feels good.

I can't tell my parents. I just can't. I'm humiliated. They've already helped out so much. So I'm sitting here, in pain (physical and emotional) and trying to figure out where to get the rest of the money.

My engagement ring and wedding band. Ugh. It kills me. It's almost two carats, but I know I won't get much, but what other options do I have?

I haven't worn it in well over a year. When I look at it, I'm reminded of a time that seems like someone else's life. Happy. Carefree. Stable. Secure. That sure isn't my life now.

I feel like I should tell my WH before I do anything. I know what he's going to say - let's find another way to find the money.

I wish I could tell my parents. I just feel like I've disappointed them so much lately. This will be just one more thing.

What would you do?


BS: Me (41)
WS: Husband (47)
Married 9 years
Two children 6 & 17 (my stepson)
D-day #1: 12/18/11
D-day #2: 8/26/12 (still in contact w/ OW)
Status: Separated - not R, not D.

Posts: 359 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Midwest
heforgotme
Member
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)

If you think you can keep up the payments after this, then I would sell it to catch up and get you out of foreclosure.

But if this is just a stopgap measure then it probably isn't worth it.


D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1083 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
Healing2012
Member
Member # 35238
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)

There's no way we can keep up with the payments, but I think I need to catch up to get it out of foreclosure before I can sell it. I think?

Ugh. It's so stressful. We have a good amount of equity in it and it will help with the debt we incurred while WH was unemployed.

I think by selling the ring it will make all the A stuff seem real and final. The marriage is over.

Stupid shit.


BS: Me (41)
WS: Husband (47)
Married 9 years
Two children 6 & 17 (my stepson)
D-day #1: 12/18/11
D-day #2: 8/26/12 (still in contact w/ OW)
Status: Separated - not R, not D.

Posts: 359 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Midwest
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)

You need to consider a Chapter 13 if only to hold off on the foreclosure a bit. Plus, don't trust that they'll "take it out of foreclosure" if you come up with $4600. They don't call it "loss mitigation" for a reason. States have different laws on foreclosure. I think you need to get a free consult with a debt lawyer and figure out a better plan.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3698 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
HardenMyHeart
Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)

I think you need to get a free consult with a debt lawyer and figure out a better plan.

This^^^


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5695 | Registered: Aug 2007
RightTrack
Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)

Stop feeling bad about this. This is not your fault. Your parents may be a big support for you.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Sep 2012
Healing2012
Member
Member # 35238
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, November 2nd (Saturday)

I did the free consult last year and we entered into a modification program to get the house out of foreclosure. We discussed Chapter 13, but because I (or we) need to prove we can afford the monthly payments plus the arrears to do so, we can't file. We just don't have the same money coming in like we did prior to WH losing his job.

The equity in the house is plenty to pay off some of our debt and get back on track. That's all I want.


BS: Me (41)
WS: Husband (47)
Married 9 years
Two children 6 & 17 (my stepson)
D-day #1: 12/18/11
D-day #2: 8/26/12 (still in contact w/ OW)
Status: Separated - not R, not D.

Posts: 359 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Midwest
summerain
Member
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 5:03 AM, November 3rd (Sunday)

Sell the wedding rings, and sell everything you can to make the payments.

As sad and symbolic selling them would mean it depends how you look at it. Especially if you haven't worn them in over a year.

Don't put too much weight into a diamond and gold. Getting your life back on track (from what you've said in the plan) is far more important.

You can do this


OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 8