New Beginnings
User Topic: Need Cute Ideas to Ask Her Out asap!
Member # 37502
Default  Posted: 6:26 AM, November 4th (Monday)

Hi friends!

Can anyone give me some ideas to ask a girl out? My XWW was really the only person I dates and was with her half my life.
Found this girl I knew 8 years ago who is divorced and also has 2 kids. She's amazing
I've just started.talking to her on fb but other than that I know where she works and the address......

Thanks in advance for any inspiration :

Me(39) - BH
Her(38) - XWW
Kids - 2
Married: 15 yrs
D-DAY: 10-23-2012
Length of A: [depends on what day you ask her]

Posts: 84 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: NW Arkansas
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:45 AM, November 4th (Monday)

Personally, I find "big" dates a little daunting. I'd rather it be just, "wanna meet for coffee and catch up??" and then ask her to dinner/whatever from there.

me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 29289
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, November 4th (Monday)

I agree with Cmego, Casual go with the flow to get things started is much better then big ...

But even to ask her out for a casual coffee date ... I would maybe send a single flower with a note to her work if you are comfortable with that ...

Posts: 387 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Back Home ... And feeling Great!!
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, November 4th (Monday)

Personally, I am sucker for sweeping romantic gestures. But you do have to be careful. What's romantic to one woman could seem stalkery to another.

Unless you know for certain that this woman would totally swoon over you showing up at her office just to ask her out, I would maybe consider doing the asking part of FB and saving the romantic gestures for a little further down the road.

Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, November 4th (Monday)

..watched a movie yesterday..

..the guy is asking the woman if they could have lunch..

..she's hesitant, cautious..

..he presses with the comment.. " it's no big deal,.. just some food on a plate!!!"

..that seemed to take the danger out of it for her.., just keep it simple and straight-forward.. no hint of any hidden agenda..

Good luck..


[This message edited by somanyyears at 8:43 AM, November 4th (Monday)]

trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf

Posts: 4129 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, November 4th (Monday)

If a guy went overboard asking me out on a first date it would be a big red flag and i think i would probably say no.

I have met too may odd men to take any chances on stalker type people.

Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2708 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, November 4th (Monday)

I think asking her to have coffee or lunch would be nice.


it's no big deal,.. just some food on a plate

Now I'm curious. What movie?

end t/j

Posts: 35898 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, November 4th (Monday)

I agree with everyone who posted to keep it simple and straight forward.

You can plan the cute or romantic gestures for after you've spent some time and know each other better.

Be yourself and relax. She's human, too.

There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 411 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
Member # 29540
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, November 4th (Monday)

Just by your post alone, "Slow down!"

Showing up at her work is weird (even if she's told you the address. If you looked it up on your own, double weird!) This does not mean that it can't work. Temper your expectations!

I agree and echo just casually ask her to coffee. If she agrees, well that's step one, but you have made it to step one.

First date is about meeting someone to see if you actually want to get to know them. Getting to know them is later. Save the grand gestures until after you each agree to get to know each other.

Me: BS
Her: WS


Remarried to a supremely wonderful person!

Posts: 174 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: So.Cal.
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, November 4th (Monday)

She's amazing

or... she is human with good attribute and some weaknesses.
I agree with soulsearcher: slow down, it will save you getting hurt again. (She may be in a relationship too).
Start with coffee (friend first) to catch up then see how it goes.
good luck

Posts: 500 | Registered: Jun 2012
Member # 37502
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, November 4th (Monday)

Good advice and insight here!
I think Ill just start with a fb message asking if we can grab sone coffe sometime and keep the small flower idea in my back pocket....
Heck her birthday is this month so maybe I can use it then with any luck :-)

Me(39) - BH
Her(38) - XWW
Kids - 2
Married: 15 yrs
D-DAY: 10-23-2012
Length of A: [depends on what day you ask her]

Posts: 84 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: NW Arkansas
Topic Posts: 11