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Reconciliation
User Topic: Fog is lifting? Maybe...
ILINIA
Member
Member # 39836
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, November 5th (Tuesday)

First, this roller-coaster ride is hard! I feel like WH is making progress. He has been reading Sexual Detours and below are some of the things he as told me the past few days:

--It really wasn't about her (OW), the sex or even our marriage. It was all about him and his fu*&ed up head. He never really let anyone in. (Ding, ding)
--He really has been a jackass to me and the kids. (Yep.)
--That he won the wife jackpot and he is such an idiot. (I couldn't agree more!)
--The day after we switched the clocks back, I slept in for the first time in long time. When I woke up, he was folding laundry in our room. He came over and kissed me on my forehead and told me to sleep in and “just heal”. (Kind of sweet.)

I think the fog is lifting?!? It is kind of a strange feeling that I am quietly celebrating that he has hit bottom. He is starting to feel the shame, embarrassment, and recognize the devastation of his actions. Prior to this week, he was OK if I needed to tell people and he even thought he may tell a few of his friends. For some reason that always bothered me. It felt to me that he didn't think it was a big deal who knew, like he wanted people to know that he was this “stud” at 40, but lately he as done a 180 and desperately doesn't want anyone to know.

Maybe we are taking one small step forward?

Just wanted to post notes on my semi-good week...thanks for listening!


Entering R slowly and cautiously...

Posts: 448 | Registered: Jul 2013
painfulpast
Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, November 5th (Tuesday)

That is great news!!!

It's amazing how them just 'getting it' even in part can bring so much happiness and relief.

Very happy for you!!!


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1888 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
bionicgal
Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, November 5th (Tuesday)

We liked that book a lot - it gets at deeper stuff, and really got my H to think about the "why" of it all.


me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is more like a mental break than a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 1888 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
bionicgal
Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, November 5th (Tuesday)

We liked that book a lot - it gets at deeper stuff, and really got my H to think about the "why" of it all.


me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is more like a mental break than a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 1888 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
I think I can
Member
Member # 17756
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, November 5th (Tuesday)

That sounds really positive--actions, not just words.


I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.

Posts: 8811 | Registered: Jan 2008
Topic Posts: 5