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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: I should be thankful according to stbx
notmychoice
New Member
Member # 40912
Suspicious  Posted: 6:25 AM, November 8th (Friday)

Apparently I should be so thankful that stbx pays his child support. He told me that he could go on welfare and not pay a thing. Wow, he should be so proud of himself for helping to support his kids. he has nothing else to do with them at this time, they have not seen him since May. I told him being a father is more that a chq each month. I do realize that some parents don't get any child support so I am relieved that I do get some. I don't know how parents do it without additional help. However, why does he think that he is such a hero for paying each month without a chq bouncing? he has threated now that he is looking for another job. I know its because he wants to lower his support. It's all about money for him, always has been.

Posts: 32 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: the twilight zone
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:40 AM, November 8th (Friday)

Yeah, this pisses me off too.

I mean, can you imagine what we would say to a dog owner that says, "Hey, I'm a great person, I feed my dog every other day...look at how much I sacrifice to fill the dog bowl! Sometimes I even give the dog a belly rub and take it out to the dog park."

Mine is like this too...thinks he's such a great and amazing guy because he pays support.
Fuck these guys.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4605 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
aeg512
Member
Member # 30641
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, November 8th (Friday)

I think you should remind your x that welfare is set up to actually help families. For a single male, or at least in my state, he is eligible for only 3 months of FS initially and after a little work can receive an additional 3 months in a five year period. He will be going without meals for quite awhile. Does he need to lose weight? Even then the state will not let them off the hook for CS. In fact if they owe the state will continue to collect for ever.

Posts: 216 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: TX
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, November 8th (Friday)

What is it with these people, who do what they *should* be doing anyway(!), expecting ticker-tape parades???? Oh, wait....don't answer that.


I was about to submit, but.....this just pisses me off. What a moron. Yea, dude. GREAT idea! Put yourself into poverty *just* to get-back at me. Isn't there some Darwin theory of evolution that's supposed to hold true? How did your guy escape?


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7865 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, November 8th (Friday)


He should feel extremely ashamed of himself for thinking this way. Sounds like his head is way to far up his ass. I know if I didn't have temporary court order for child support, my stbx wouldn't give me a dime. Which is one of the gazillion reasons I wish this divorce would happen already. I would rather get the child support through the Child Support Enforcement than through him.

From what I hear from others, if he has a job now and suddenly goes on welfare or quits his job and gets a lower paying job, the court sees that shit everyday and won't fall for it. There main concern is the children's well being. Not his.

Hang in there. Perhaps whenever he starts puffing out his chest and waiting for his gold star, you could transform his voice into the voice of the adult characters in Charlie Brown. You know how it sounds like "Wa ra wa ra ra ra wa ra? Re ruh ra ra ra."


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2138 | Registered: Oct 2012
damncutekitty
Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, November 8th (Friday)

If he says any of this in text or email you should make sure to save them so that when he goes to court to get his CS payments lowered you can use them against him.

There's no point in telling him that good parents are proud to support their children. It's pretty clear what kind of father he really is.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49464 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Housefulloflove
Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, November 8th (Friday)

My idiot ex believes the same. He is a great father if you ask him. He sees his kids a whole 2 hrs a week now and talks to them for a few minutes per child (almost) every night. On top of all of that he pays child support too! Best. Father. Ever!!

When he briefly had the kids for overnights he made sure to remind me almost weekly that he was doing this wonderful thing for *me* and I should be more "friendly" and "cordial" to him because of all he does for *me*!

Uninvolved, lying jackasses who pay child support = great dads in the land of stupid.

Our kids feel like unwelcomed visitors who camp on the floor when they are with him so I don't push him to do more or keep them overnight anymore for their sake.

[This message edited by Housefulloflove at 2:37 PM, November 8th (Friday)]


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
notmychoice
New Member
Member # 40912
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, November 8th (Friday)

thanks for all the responses. I feel so alone because I don't know anyone else going thru this. I am meeting him in a few minutes to 'talk'. he wants to R but there is NO WAY that is going to happen. he goes from one minute saying he wants to go on welfare so he does not want to pay me and then in the same breath he wants to build our dream house together. what a mess his head is in!

Posts: 32 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: the twilight zone
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, November 8th (Friday)

He should be thankful that you didn't shoot him in the privates when he was busted cheating.

He has a legal obligation to pay CS. That isn't a favor or some heroic deed you're supposed to give him a gold star for.


Posts: 4689 | Registered: Dec 2009
twinkie
Member
Member # 29203
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, November 8th (Friday)

Even if he went on welfare the state can still garnish the check for child support!

Posts: 1049 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Louisiana
notmychoice
New Member
Member # 40912
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, November 8th (Friday)

Im not in the States Twinkie, Im in Canada so I don't know what the rule is here. He is all about money. I just left from meeting him and he has changed so much. he was so angry and a hot head. he told me to make sure the kids know that he pays child support! what an ass. I told him there is more to being a parent than sending a chq.

Posts: 32 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: the twilight zone
Lost15
Member
Member # 40898
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, November 8th (Friday)

What an idiot. Sounds like mine. He only thinks of himself and money. He hasn't seen DS really since end of May, unless 2 hours in July counts. When I told him DS knowing how much child support is isn't necessary, his reply was "why, because you don't want him to know who is supporting him." I think the parent who has been there for him throughout everything in his life and done without is the one supporting him. It's not all about money. Geez, these guys need to get over themselves! Sorry you are going through this.

[This message edited by Lost15 at 10:58 PM, November 8th (Friday)]


me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.

Posts: 114 | Registered: Oct 2013
Thefly559
Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

He is a coward and not a man. I gladly pay my child support. Alimony on the other hand I would love to stop.


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 622 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

Before idiot XPOS sent his first pathetic excuse for CS check he actually asked (via email) if it should be made out to me or DD. I had to remind him that I pay for the roof over her head, food on the table, and school expenses, not DD. Some how he believes he is giving me money to frivolously squander on myself and simply doesn't understand he can't walk away from his child along with the expense that goes along with being a parent.

Guess I don't have to be thankful for shit since he doesn't pay shit anyway...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1016 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

The sad clown acts like his c$600 p/m (out of a $250k+ income) entitles him to be treated with reverence. Dontcha know he is financing my lavish lifestyle with that money? Y'know from that career he never would have had were it not for my coaching and support? Yeah, that's the one.

He spends the rest buying his whore's luurve and also cocaine for her and her loser arse white-trash bogan friends. I can't describe bogan for you all - think Aussie redneck's but without the rich cultural history.

FTG. F all of them. I can't imagine what its like paying alimony to a WS.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5526 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
stronger08
Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 3:11 AM, November 10th (Sunday)

Not intended to sound sexist. But if more women would stop allowing these assholes to be deadbeats, guys like your XH would have no platform to spew their shit from. I know its a pain in the ass to file the paperwork for CS enforcement. But it needs to be done no matter how little you may get. There are laws set up to deal with a deadbeat. IDK how many times I have seen guys that simply walk away from their parental responsibilities. Usually leaving the mother or another man to pick up the slack. After the child passes the age of support all of a sudden Daddy reappears and wants back in to the kids life. And in most cases then not the kid is there with open arms. To me that's the ultimate insult to the person/persons who raised and supported the child.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5584 | Registered: Nov 2007
Topic Posts: 16