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User Topic: I hate days like this
kra127
Member
Member # 41045
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, November 8th (Friday)

UGHHHHHHH the last two days have been exhausting. I want off of this rollercoaster! I finally gave WH a list of questions that I needed answered about his PA. The details were tough to hear but I needed to know exactly what happened between them. WH told me today that he wants to "put the affair aside and work on our marriage" which is not what I wanted to hear just one month after dday when I'm still very angry and disappointed. Oh yeah, he also tried to make me feel bad for him today saying he has no support and no one to talk to about how bad he feels about having an affair. He would like me to be his support which I cannot do right now.
We are both in IC and I'm not interested in MC together until we both work through some issues in IC. Has anyone else waited to start MC? I still don't know if I want to R or get D. I'm only trying at this point for my two boys.


Me 40
WS 39
2 young kids, Married 10 yrs
OW 22, admitted to EA and then TT to PA two weeks later. Also, found out about several "friends".
Dday 10/8/13
Divorcing

Posts: 89 | Registered: Oct 2013
Raven96
Member
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, November 8th (Friday)

One month after D-Day and he wants to "put the A aside and work on your M?" This IS working on your marriage!!!!!

He is delusional if he thinks he is going to sidestep your questions and you're going to just magically be fine. He needs to help you heal, and if it means that he answers ALL of your questions over and over and over and over again, then that is what he has to do!

Someone will come along to answer your question about MC. I can't answer that. What I can tell you is: If you rugsweep this like he seems to want to, you will regret it. That's what I did the first time, and 12 years later I'm dealing with this crap again!

(((kra127)))


Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
Merlin
Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, November 8th (Friday)

Put the affair aside.....

Good one!


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, November 8th (Friday)

Ok, maybe I am a bit stupid or something........isn't this what an IC is for? Someone to TALK to about you feelings?


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 370 | Registered: Aug 2013
kra127
Member
Member # 41045
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, November 8th (Friday)

Emotionalgirl, yes, I agree with you. I told him to call his counselor if he needed someone to support him. I'm busy trying to keep my head up and care for my kids. He claims his IC told him we need to be working this out together. Down the road if we R, I absolutely would work on this together but a month after Dday??? That's not going to happen.


Me 40
WS 39
2 young kids, Married 10 yrs
OW 22, admitted to EA and then TT to PA two weeks later. Also, found out about several "friends".
Dday 10/8/13
Divorcing

Posts: 89 | Registered: Oct 2013
Topic Posts: 5