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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: I'm so sick of him! (vent)
careerlady
Member
Member # 16958
Concerned  Posted: 12:43 AM, November 9th (Saturday)

It''''s been a week since I served STBX and I just have so many emotions going on. He started off being mean, packing up all his stuff, and threatening to take DS away, then giving me the silent treatment, and now we are on the 6th day of him being nice. He is paying more attention to DS and even brought him to visit me on a break from work. While he was busy with his latest piece of a$$ he rarely called or texted while out of town. He was gone this week W-F and called and texted me constantly making small talk. I''''ve been sleeping downstairs cause he keeps trying to sleep in the bed with me, but now that I moved out of the master bed he sleeps on the downstairs couch.

He has tried to excuse his latest affair by saying my family was making him unhappy (my mom is living with us to provide childcare) and he doesn''''t like the way the dishes are cleaned so he had to go "find happiness" He has also said we have both "sinned differently", he in cheating, and me in filing for divorce He says his regret is in not telling me earlier how much my family bothered him (so I could cut them off?). This is what substitutes for remorse in his narcissistic mind.

I don''''t know if he thinks I''''m going to give him another chance after his pathetic excuses and now the impression of a nice guy but it''''s not happening. I am hoping he is planning to divorce amicably but since he is of questionable character who knows. I also am hoping that he will move out but I''''m not pushing him cause I don''''t want a messy contested divorce if I can help it. I''''m sure I am looking at in house separation

[This message edited by careerlady at 12:44 AM, November 9th, 2013 (Saturday)]


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 942 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
careerlady
Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 12:55 AM, November 9th (Saturday)

Oh and someone convince me that I shouldn''t spy on him anymore! I keep wanting to swipe his phone and download his texts and phone history for old times sake but I''m not in discovery anymore!


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 942 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:12 AM, November 9th (Saturday)

I think I need to pop your bubble:

If he's truly a narcissist, then there is no avoiding a messy, contested divorce. Narcissist = messy, contested divorce. And they fight you for full custody, too. Think "scorched earth". When you insult a narc by divorcing them, their only purpose in life is to destroy you.

Watch your back, sister.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9715 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
careerlady
Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 1:29 AM, November 9th (Saturday)

I know nature_girl my hope is springing eternal here! My heart is being silly, the rest of me is bracing for a terrible storm. I think he''s only being nice cause he thinks I''ll drop it and once I don''t there will be hell to pay


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 942 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:35 AM, November 9th (Saturday)

Please be on your guard. Make sure your important documentation is in your possession or in a safety deposit box that only you have the key. Birth certificate, SS card, copies of your credit card(s) and DL. My EX got rid of my birth cert and my SS card. Don't think shit like that doesn't happen.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9715 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
NewMom0220
Member
Member # 39036
Default  Posted: 1:48 AM, November 9th (Saturday)

Just wanted to say his excuses are just that, excuses. My STBXH said I didn't make enough of my delicious lasagna. I didn't cook or clean enough. Meanwhile, I'm standing there with a newborn taking care of everything by myself and he's saying, "I'm confused." They all come up with the stupidest excuses.

I hope you don't end up with an in-house separation. I'm sure it's tough to sleep in the same house. I know I'm much stronger being away from STBX. I still look online for OW, who he says he is no longer in contact with, but I'd go crazy if I were around him still.

Stay away from his phone! Don't fall down that Rabbit hole. You know enough already!


Me: BS 36
Him: WS 37
14 month old DS
Married 5 years, together 8, DIVORCING!!! (taking forever)
DDay: 3/1/13 (4 Month PA while I was pregnant)
Sometimes all you have to do is forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.

Posts: 374 | Registered: Apr 2013
Bravenewgirl
Member
Member # 36267
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, November 9th (Saturday)

Ugghhhh..what a POS he is careerlady. "Sinned differently", my ass. How dare you divorce someone for putting his dong in places where it does not belong! You sinner! Sheesh.

The dishes?? Really? Their excuses are so absurd, you have to laugh (or you will one day). WH told me he cheated because I breastfed for too long, and I went to bed too early.

I hope he gets the fuck out soon, but as Naturegirl says (and she ought to know) be prepared for the shitstorm from hell.

Hugs and strength.

BNG


Don't come around here no more
-Tom Petty

Posts: 661 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Canada
careerlady
Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

We are on our way to dinner together with DS. STBX suggested we all go out and I gamely said we could maybe make it a monthly thing (I really do want a cordial relationship for DS). He compliments my outfit and I feel like saying "I don''t give a F$@% what you like you''ll screw anything in a skirt and I hope it was worth blowing up our marriage you POS!". But I just said "thanks". When I don''t think of him as my husband I don''t have animosity. I think we CAN be friends if he continues to play nice. My parents got divorced but they took me on trips together and were a team celebrating all my special days together without a hint of anger. That''s what I want for my son. So I''m gonna be real nice tonight.

Besides I''m hoping he will think we are heading towards R and won''t file a response and I''ll get the default judgement. Hehe


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 942 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
Topic Posts: 8