User Topic: When you think you can't get through...
Member # 18913
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, November 9th (Saturday)

I'm here to tell you, IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER!

Here's a funny-
Went to a neighborhood bar last night with a neighbor. A friends band was playing early (8-11P) so we planned to go for an hour to support him. My teens were home gaming. Guess who else was there??? Jhole (my ex) and The Weed(his wife, my former 'best' friend), There was only a small open space at the bar, so I sidled up right next to them and ordered my beer and took it back to our table. They looked ugly and silly to me. I don't think middle aged people should be dancing in public. It looks creepy, like they should be wearing leisure suits...but that's just me :) didn't mess w my night, but I bet it ruined hers. They left a about 20 min later.

I thought I was happy with my ex, and I guess I was, but my life is SO MUCH BETTER now. It did not take me very long without him to realize what a drag on my boat he was.

For anyone who needs this today- Hang In There, the sun eventually comes out again!

M -18 yrs. S16 S13
DDay 12/18/06, divorced.
OW (former) friend and neighbor
"The problem is not moving mountains, but digging the ground that you're on." Jakob Dylan

Posts: 360 | Registered: Mar 2008
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, November 9th (Saturday)

Thanks for that, tigerlilly!

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, November 9th (Saturday)

Awesome post!!

Posts: 36024 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, November 9th (Saturday)

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17589 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, November 9th (Saturday)


divorced the Dooosh
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.

Posts: 3618 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, November 9th (Saturday)

I totally needed this thank you!

Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2281 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

I thought I was happy with my ex, and I guess I was, but my life is SO MUCH BETTER now. It did not take me very long without him to realize what a drag on my boat he was.


Now when I think of times I thought were happy ones for me, I realize that it was only a time in which xpos was so happy because he was getting exactly what he wanted that he did not put me down or abuse me some how (I now realize that I was verbally, mentally and emotionally abused for over 40 years).

Even the times I was happy, like when we were last able to have our whole family together for Christmas, I realize that my happiness was about the children and grandchildren, NOT xpos. When alone with him, he said and did things to me that my mind tucked away and denied because of the otherwise happy time. He also did overt things when they were around, but I'm sure they didn't really notice because of everything going on and because they were so used to us being like that - that was "just how Mom and Dad were". But they were mild compared to when we were alone and he said them as if he were joking, but I new better.

There are times when I feel a bit lonely and think about what it was like to be part of a couple. But when I think of those times, those memories come forward and I fully realize just what he did to me. Every memory is spoiled by his part in it.

My NEW memories with family and friends and especially with my children and grandchildren are pure and untarnished. And I'm so grateful to have that! I'm glad you can have good times now too.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2391 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

And this is how it is done! Love it!

I haven't seen the sad clown and OWUmpteen together but friends of mine have and told me about it back before I forbade anyone to tell me anything about them. They said they look ridiculous - he is an old 40 and she looks like his surly teenage daughter. So creepy.

[This message edited by SBB at 5:19 PM, November 9th (Saturday)]

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5618 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 8