User Topic: Kids birthday
New Member
Member # 41265
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

Today was probably one of my lowest points in my entire life. Since both of our children have November birthdays, we combine them into one party. It was the first time WW and I have seen each other since Thursday night, which was also when I revealed I had plans to see an attorney. It was civil for the most part but the tension was horrible. She took off last night with the kids and didn't show up with them until 10 minutes before their own party, told me I didn't love my children enough to safeguard them from an ugly divorce, because I hired an attorney. She told me she was moving 90 minutes away when she gets her next paycheck, and when I asked if I could have my kids tonight I was told "we'll see" I don't understand why she is being so hateful. She's the one who cheated, and she's the one who wanted a divorce. I'm just giving her what she wants, why be hateful at our children's birthday party. I've never felt lower in my life than I did today.

Posts: 44 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Illinois
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

She is mentally & emotionally unwell. I'll use a phrase with you that I used with someone else here recently: She is not a safe parent. Not now. She is acting out and, did I read correctly in your other thread, she's drinking buckets as well?

Listen carefully, my friend. You must protect those children. I want you to insist on a parenting evaluation - YOU PICK THAT EVALUATOR - with a psychological evaluation as part of it. This is gonna cost you thousands of dollars, but it's the only thing that's gonna protect those kids.

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9815 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

I'm sorry she had to ruin the kids' b-day. She sounds like a really selfish, self-entitled well... brat actually. She is using anger (and the kids) to try to control and manipulate you... I would talk to the atty. about this asap. Because, typically, from what I read here - the S who moves away has to transport the kids back and forth for visitation... when she learns that I'm betting she holds her breath till she turns blue in the face!


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4129 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
New Member
Member # 41265
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

Yes, prior to the PA/EA she would drink 3 or 4 times a year, now it's 3 or 4 times a week. I'm just hurt and confused. Hurt she would do that at their party, and confused because she wants the divorce, I'm finally giving her what she wants.

Posts: 44 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Illinois
New Member
Member # 41265
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

I forgot to mention, she brought them home today in the same clothes I sent them to school in yesterday :(

Posts: 44 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Illinois
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

Wait, WTF? Why is she given the automatic right to take them from the family home without an awarding of custody. No way that can be legal. It sounds like you need to talk to a lawyer yesterday. Document every move she makes. Everything the kids do with who and when. She is NOT just given the right to uproot them from the home. Trust me on that on. Been there done that. If she wants to move, she's welcome to do that, just not with the kids. A term you are going to learn is "in the best interests of the children". That's what the courts are going to look at, and what she is offering to provide is in no way, that. You may need to get the police involved, but if she wants to have them for the weekend, that's probably ok. It's when she tries to move them that you need to consider it. TALK TO YOUR LAWYER. Explain the situation. She's tying to bully you into submission.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2977 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

Very typical behavior, actually. The Dooosh was furious when I filed and hired my attorney. FURIOUS. He cheated. He wanted his COW. He wanted to leave our home, but I was the one who was a bitch, I was the one who was "going to be sorry".

Start protecting yourself and your kids. You have to keep reminding yourself that she is no longer your friend.

divorced the Dooosh
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, November 9th (Saturday)

khris - Do you have a VAR yet?

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25696 | Registered: Aug 2011
New Member
Member # 41265
Default  Posted: 12:58 AM, November 10th (Sunday)

Yes, I have a VAR, which she says makes her feel like a prisoner in her own home.... I'm filing for emergency temporary custody Tuesday

Posts: 44 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 9