User Topic: coping
New Member
Member # 41265
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, November 11th (Monday)

I'm trying so hard to cope with this. She's the one who did this. The one who wanted a divorce. But things just keep getting uglier and uglier. She's lying to my boss to try to get me fired now. All because she went off with OM, and I refused to be her emotional and financial support until she was able to get stable enough for an amicable divorce. I'm now the bad guy because I hired an attorney and filed. It doesn't make sense..... she even refuses to leave the home. I can't have space from her, despite her wanting out of the marriage?

Posts: 44 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Illinois
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, November 11th (Monday)

I'm so sorry. It's hard enough dealing with this shit but then they have to pull more shit. It's never enough for someone like her and xpos. Xpos still pulling stuff and we've been D for more than 1-1/2 yrs! It's like they will never be happy unless they can feel like they have totally destroyed us. Anything to feel like they have the upper hand. Has she always been controlling of you and the relationship?

Hang in there, brother. You've got understanding and support here..

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2396 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, November 11th (Monday)

They get so caught up in creating a narrative to justify their cheating that they buy into it and have the nerve to get angry at us. It''s really unbelievable gall. But you will pull through this, we all will. Just keep reminding yourself that she''s a sick controlling cake eater like the rest of them

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!

Posts: 942 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, November 11th (Monday)

I find that they create this mess, blame us for it and then push the buttons they installed in order for us to react so they can say "See? Crazy. Therefore I was justified". It is how they can spin it to make themselves look and feel better about the wrong they know they have done.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1783 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
New Member
Member # 41265
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Despite everything, it's getting harder and harder to maintain no communication with her. Being off work today it's taken conscious effort to not reach out to her as my best friend for the last 9 years.

Posts: 44 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 5