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New Beginnings
User Topic: I am glad I went on my first Date since DDay!
Blackhair
Member
Member # 39451
Content  Posted: 2:10 PM, November 11th (Monday)

I have been on OLD site for a while but mostly browsing, never met anyone till recently I met a guy who seems very down to earth, we have been chatting over a month, he asked me out for coffee a couple of times in a very polite way, so I can tell he is kind of shy.

Anyways I met him a week ago, he seems a very nice person, we chatted over an hour, he was a bit nervous, so am I. We have been texting a bit after that. I sent him an email saying I enjoyed it.

Last night we had the second date, again we chatted for 1.5 hours, turn out his wife walked away from him 18 years ago, he has been raising his two children by himself. Because of ir he is very close to his children, both are adults now and moved out.

He mentioned that he won''t be on OLD any more, he did deleted his profile. It is nice to see him ver serious, kind of cute, he was too shy to ask me out for a hockey game, he texted me last night, I replied " I would love to", then he asked me to go to his company Christmas Party, I love to go out and have some fun, plus he seems a nice gentleman.

But same time I felt it is a bit too much too soon. Like everyone said I should not start to date this early. I totally agree. I will take baby steps. But I do enjoy the company, the attention.
By no means I am not ready to sleep with him, I am very conservative that way. If he leaves, that is fine.

Love his blue eyes...hehe...

It is good to feel in control and see where this going......I might go to his Xmas party too.

Will keep posting some updates here....


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 163 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
numbandnauseous
Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Blackhair - I am so happy for you! Thanks for posting this.

Wiser ones will be along soon, but I do feel that he is getting pretty intense quickly. Deleting his OLD profile? Inviting you to his work Christmas party whiich is many weeks away?

At the same time, I am very happy for you, but it sounds like you need to slow him down a little.


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Christmas party after a 2nd date? Yikes.
I'm glad that you like him, though.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7424 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Shockleader
Member
Member # 36827
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, November 11th (Monday)

It's nice to read a happy story! Best of luck, keep at the baby steps, and enjoy your NB and new life.


D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 47
XWW 44
One DD 19
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!

The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...


Posts: 614 | Registered: Sep 2012
Blackhair
Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 1:21 AM, November 26th (Tuesday)

A bit update...
We had more coffee dates and had dinner once too. Tomorrow is his BD, we are having a drive to the Rocky mountains, we are both excited about the day trip.

He told me he cleaned his car today inside out for the trip, which is nice of him.

He is very nice and very polite gentleman, we have been talking/ texting a lot lately.
He is those too nice kind of guy, so afraid to upset me, he even texted me asking me if okay to hold my hands when we are going to do a bit hike, it is cute/silly i think, I had a good laugh at it, but I told him we will see... Still a bit too much, too soon, but do like the genuine side of him.

I am looking forward to spending more time with him and getting to know him, enjoying his company tomorrow.



M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 163 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
InnerLight
Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 1:27 AM, November 26th (Tuesday)

Is there a way you can verify his stories and do some research on this guy? He sounds nice but I'm thinking about safety. It could be bec I've been watching too many cop shows.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. dating again, living in the sticks with a cat. It's taking a long time to create new dreams and a new life but it is slowly coming together.

Posts: 5726 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, November 26th (Tuesday)

If you are enjoying his company, then go for it! Keep the speed at your comfort level, but otherwise enjoy!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
dindy
Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, November 28th (Thursday)

How exciting! :)

I am definitely going to start dating after my one year antiversary in January.

I'm not looking for anything serious, just looking forward to going for dinner with a nice guy (hopefully!) and have some nice conversation. Who knows what will happen.

Good luck! :)


Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
Blackhair
Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, November 30th (Saturday)

We had great time on his BD, we went to the Rockies, he was flattered that I spent a day with him on his BD.

Had more coffee dates, he texted me every day.
He has a decent job, own a very cute/cozy little place, last night we also went to his company Xmas dinner. He was so happy I went with him.
We also talked about more detailed how his X left him with two children and he had been single for 12 years raising two kids.

I enjoyed spending time with him, he is a gentleman, very serious about us, but I do felt he is very insecure and talked about a lot about "our" future. Which I am not ready for that yet.

I do not want to hurt him but do felt a bit pressure if it does not work out in the end.

Or i really do not know what I want??!!



M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 163 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, November 30th (Saturday)

Trust your gut. Best thing to do is just talk to him about how you are feeling. Honesty and communication. Simply tell him you are feeling pressure, and why, and you would like things to slow down a bit...see what he does.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4014 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
kg201
Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, December 1st (Sunday)

I agree with cmego. Tell him how you are feeling about the speed. If he is a gentleman and shy he will hear you. I started dating again a couple of months after dday, and now have decided to explore a relationship with one woman (I couldn't handle the craziness of multiple dates that OLD can bring). Our main approach has been to be very open about how we are feeling about the relationship, because it is so quick. She is in the process of divorcing and doesn't have an infidelity history like me, but she is also being cautious.

So the message to you (and me) is to have fun, and open. It is hard for those of us that have gone through infidelity in our pasts, but openness is important. Also here is a ted talk that I found helpful in thinking about what I want in the future.

www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
Dec 23, 2010
Brené Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant ...


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 581 | Registered: Aug 2013
Blackhair
Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 3:53 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

I did watched the video, it is a great one, thanks for sharing.


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 163 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 12