SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: After the mammogram, now the biopsy :(
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Sad  Posted: 3:44 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Well, I am a bit shocked because I had convinced myself that my diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound would show the lump found by the routine mammogram to be a fluid filled cyst (of which I have had 3).

I went to the hospital first thing this morning expecting to get the usual all-clear.

No, they dont knkw what it is. So now I have to get a biopsy. I had just set myself up for it to be nothing.

I think it is all OK. It is well-defined, good acoustics, but it is a lump with a blood supply. The doctor said he thought it was probably but not definitely OK.

I just feel really tearful. My doctor's office has had all day to send the order for the biopsy and hasn't sent it so I can't even schedule it. I'm so miserable with this in house separation which has another 2 weeks until the final hearing. I haven't told STBX and of course he forgot about my appt which just shows me what a selfish jerk I have been married to the last ten years. I did go and have lunch with a friend who has offered to come with me.

It just feels like the worst possible timing.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, November 11th (Monday)

(((jemimapd)))


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2572 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, November 11th (Monday)

((((jemima)))) Sending you strength, honey. And tons of mojo for a clean biopsy.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24462 | Registered: Aug 2011
suckstobeme
Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, November 11th (Monday)

((((((((massive hugs)))))))))


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2712 | Registered: Jan 2011
HeartInADustpan
Member
Member # 38341
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, November 11th (Monday)

We're all cheering you on. Hang in there. (((HUGE HUGS)))


Just call me Heart. :)
Reconciling
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain

Posts: 379 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
numbandnauseous
Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, November 11th (Monday)

jemima, honey, I am so sorry. You have a lot on your plate. Be gentle with yourself today. Can you get out of the house and do something just for yourself? Mani/pedi/massage, brisk walk or at least schedule something if you can't do it today?

I am so sorry, jemima. We are all here for you sending good mojo for everything to turn out ok. Keep posting.

(((((((jemima)))))))


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
Tripletrouble
Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, November 11th (Monday)

So sorry to hear this. Not that it's ever a good time, but this is REALLY a bad time. My heart goes out to you. Big hugs Jemima.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 617 | Registered: May 2013
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, November 11th (Monday)

((Jemima))


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7440 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
still2suspicious
Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, November 11th (Monday)

(((jemimapd)))

Sending prayers your way.


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1265 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
LifeIsBroken
Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Think positive and know - KNOW - you can deal with it if it does turn out to be something that needs further attention. You've already had more on your plate than most and you have survived it.... I have taken one of my best friends 2x for biopsies (her H was working out of state both times) and both turned out to be nothing. Sending you hugs and lots of strength....

(Your PM's are at their limit, just fyi)


Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 435 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Massachusetts
Iamhappytoday
Member
Member # 39051
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, November 11th (Monday)

(((jemimapd)))

This happened to me the same week as D-day. Sending you good mojo and strength.


BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her.

Posts: 131 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Free!!!
gardens64
Member
Member # 38449
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Hi Jemimapd, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I'm undergoing in-house separation too and it's so hard to deal with health concerns on top of all this mess. Sending support and good mojo your way. I'm glad you have a friend that is supporting you as well.

Posts: 57 | Registered: Feb 2013
sri624
Member
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, November 11th (Monday)

i just wanted to send you all kinds of hugs and blessings. you have friends here surrounding you with support.


BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
Attempting R in bi

Posts: 916 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Oh sweetie. Take some deep breaths be nice to you. The not knowing is the hardest part, but this is out of your control.
Get it scheduled tomorrow, know that it didn't just show up overnight and waiting a few days to weeks is not going to change the outcome. Rely on friends and family.

Know no matter what this is you are strong and capable. You will be mOre than able to kick its ass and take names. After all you survived in house separation.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7843 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, November 11th (Monday)

(((jemimapd)))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 36709 | Registered: Sep 2007
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, November 11th (Monday)

shit. I am so sorry jemimapd. dammit. Please take your friends offer and have her go with you. You will be in my prayers.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2129 | Registered: Oct 2012
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, November 11th (Monday)

The not knowing is the hardest part, but this is out of your control.

I feel my life is suspended. Yes, I am mentally preparing for a week of not knowing and just deciding that it is going to be OK.

It shows me the extent to which I am without a husband and at the same time that I am OK with that - because the last time I was in the hospital two years ago, STBX was outside calling OW and then fucked off to see her in the afternoon. At least I know what is the truth today. I am in the same house with him but mentally and emotionally I am divorced from him. I cannot rely on him but today I know that.

When I came out of the office today there was an elderly couple sitting together waiting which made me feel a bit sorry for myself, but who knows what their real story is.

This site really is something special. It means a lot to me right now. Thank you.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, November 11th (Monday)

(((jemima)))

I hope it is nothing. I'm glad you have your friend for support. You have us here, too.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 733 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
BrokenRoad
Member
Member # 15334
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, November 11th (Monday)

(((jemimapd)))
I had this happen to me. They ended up just removing it instead of the biopsy when they went in. And it still turned out to be benign. It can still be totally okay.

HUGS!
BR


{Him}FBH - 43 (WifeHad5)
{Me} FWW - 43
2 kids 7 & 12
Reconciled :)
Beauty and folly are old companions.--Benjamin Franklin

Posts: 10602 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Midwest
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, November 11th (Monday)

BR, what was it? The doctor went through the possibilities but of course I wasn't really taking it in.

]Your PM's are at their limit, just fyi)

Thank you! Deleted oldies.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
AppleBlossom
Member
Member # 38541
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Oh honey, what a shitty thing to have happen. I completely understand how you feel, having been through this and other health issues and scares over the years. the waiting, and the not knowing is very hard. If you feel down or tearful, dont be too hard on yourself. Treat yourself as you need to, and lean on us as much as you need.

Feel free to pm me.

Lots of love and good thoughts.


Posts: 154 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Australia
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Sending you hugs-- this happened to me almost two years ago on my very first mammogram. The radiologist found a very suspicious spot, and he had it biopsied right then and there because he was so worried. The waiting was so stressful, and it happened right after I had finally moved out and thought I was finally going to enjoy my NB.

Fortunately, it was benign. Sending you that calm, positive mojo that you need to get through this incredibly stressful time.

Oh, and BTW-- when I told XWH because I was so frightened and worried about what would happen and how we'd care for the kids, it was like talking to a robot. He couldn't have sounded less concerned when I spoke to him on the phone about it, so I also get how you feel in terms of lack of support. I turned to my friends and family in that time, so you do that as well. Don't rely on him for anything.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3546 | Registered: Oct 2011
AussieMum
Member
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, November 11th (Monday)

sending hugs and lots of luck. All of this is tough enough without having to deal with the in-house separation and all the other crap.

I went through this situation a few years back - mammogram, ultrasound then biopsy - turned out to be a benign fibroadenoma. I totally understand what you're going through now with the waiting and the anxiety. Lean on your friends and on us too (((jemimapd))


Me 46
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, November 11th (Monday)

I'm hoping all the best for you, Jemima.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1724 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Sending a prayer and hugs tonight. Went through the scare four years ago, it turned out benign. Loads of strength to you.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1232 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, November 11th (Monday)

Oh, (((jemima)))) Millions of hugs and prayers.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8350 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
openedupmyeyes
Member
Member # 27871
Happy  Posted: 4:39 AM, November 12th (Tuesday)

Sending hugs,prayers, and support!


Me:53 BS
Him:53 FWH Trying to make me a believer?
Years married:35
:03-01-10: The day I learned the truth
Kids:Daughters 4 all grown and married.
Reconciliation is hard.
Really freakin' hard.

Posts: 760 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: The Great State of Texas
Iamacrab
Member
Member # 40410
Default  Posted: 5:11 AM, November 12th (Tuesday)

Sending you my support and big hugs. I'm thinking positively for you!

Posts: 103 | Registered: Aug 2013
marlie2014
Member
Member # 40981
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)

I, too, send my support. I have been scared myself because of biopsies done recently and the possibility of a hysterectomy looms. And it's awful to go through it without the person whom you thought would be there for you 'in sickness and in health.'

(((hugs)))


BS: 33
WS: 35 and definitely SA
Married: 9 years
1 stepchild, now 18 years old
DDay: 9/2/2013
ONS: Multiples over at least a 6-year period, at least twenty
1 OC 5 yrs old and another on the way (by different ONS)
DIVORCED AND FREE!!!!

Posts: 209 | Registered: Oct 2013
Elaine2012
Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)

(((jemimapd))) sending mojo!


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 285 | Registered: Jul 2012
JustDone
Member
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)

I'm so so so sorry.

Are you going to have a stereotactic? I've had three, one showed a pre-cancerous condition, so I had to have a surgical biopsy to remove the three small lumps.

Sorry you are dealing with this and a in-house separation, I'm so grateful we have two houses on our property.

Hugs!

pm me anytime if you want more info or to talk.

-JD


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2780 | Registered: Feb 2006
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)

Thank you so much for all the support!!

I have the biopsy next Tuesday so a week of waiting but I am just going to try to put it out of my mind. It is a small incision guided by ultrasound so not a big deal. I just want to be able to get on with my life without everything hanging over me.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)

(((jemima)))

More hugs and good wishes here. Please do something extra nice for yourself while you're waiting to hear.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3275 | Registered: Dec 2011
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)

(((((hugs)))))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4564 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

Today I went for an ultrasound guided biopsy and the result was........

ALL CLEAR - I AM SO RELIEVED

The previous ultrasound had showed the lump was solid.

It turned out to be a fluid-filled cyst. So it has completely gone.

G-O-N-E

Thank you so much to everyone who posted and PM'd me!!!!

PLEASE- if you are behind schedule on your mammogram, get it scheduled!

There was no way you could find my lump by self-examination, it only showed up on a mammogram
.

It's tough out there - look after yourself!


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

yeah! whew. (((jemimapd))
But great reminder to schedule those mammograms

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jun 2012
still2suspicious
Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

**clapping hands**

I didn't know I was holding my breath until I read your update.

So happy for you, jem!!

As much as they suck they have proven, over and over again, that they can save lives!


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1265 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
Tripletrouble
Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

Yay!!! So happy to hear this great news!!


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 617 | Registered: May 2013
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

Woot woot.
I've had a few cancer scare rodeos too! My most recent was the same week STBXH walked out on me. He still hasn't asked me if I'm gonna live or die! FTG!

It ain't over til the fat lady sings, and turns out your fat lady has laryngitis!
Fantastic news.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2181 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
LifeIsBroken
Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

Yay ! Glad to know you received the all clear. A huge relief. Continue taking care of YOU !


Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 435 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Massachusetts
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

Phew!! Thank you for the update and the reminder to GET YO MAMMOGRAMS!! I am sooooo happy for you and this outcome!!! Yay!!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2129 | Registered: Oct 2012
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

What a relief! So happy to hear this.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4564 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

Whoot Whoot!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4588 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
JustDone
Member
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

So relieved for you.


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2780 | Registered: Feb 2006
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

Hooray! So glad to hear it!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3546 | Registered: Oct 2011
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

Thank you!


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
Topic Posts: 46