SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: Just so sick of filling out job applications - vent
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

I've been looking for work for a year. I am an expert at unsuccessfully looking for work. I am so sick of filling out job applications. I have had only a few job interviews. I feel totally unemployable. I'm in the age bracket where age discrimination is a fact of life. I haven't worked outside the home since 1999.

I have just cleared one major hurdle - finalizing the divorce.

Now I need to get a job. Or go to college, but I have no way of paying for college.

I'm scared.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9818 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
abbycadabby
Member
Member # 27428
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

(((Nature Girl)))

Fill out a FAFSA and see if you qualify for pell grants or other financial aid for college.

I have no advice about the job hunt. Sorry

[This message edited by abbycadabby at 2:14 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 1271 | Registered: Feb 2010
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

Yeah, I was just looking at the local community college and see that there's a workshop tomorrow for scholarship applications. I think I should go!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9818 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

Yeah, I was just looking at the local community college and see that there's a workshop tomorrow for scholarship applications. I think I should go!

Oh, absolutely go! There are a lot of resources, but you have to look for them. That is almost a job within itself, and the reason why so many don't do it. I teach at a college and see it all the time. Persistent is a VERY desirable attribute, and you have got it in abundance NG!

Hang in there. Job hunting is usually feast or famine, and when it hits you will probably be deciding which job offer to take!

Also, analyze the job market in your area. What kind of jobs are hot? Pay decent wages? Then you can look into college/degree programs to fit that market need.

((Nature_Girl))


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1184 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

Okay, I'm going to go! While I'm there I think I'll visit the Women's Resource Center. They were a Godsend to me last year as I walked around in a daze, trying to sort myself out post-separation. Got me into a great class this past winter for women like me, too. Now I need to just get myself sorted out again.

Ideal situation would be some kind of money bag falling from the sky so I could finish out my degree & launch myself into a new career. I'd like to not have to work while doing this so I could go 'pedal to the metal' and bang the degree out ASAP & get to work ASAP in a fulfilling career. So it needs to be a big money bag. From the sky.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9818 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

Do it!

Procrastination is one of the biggest reasons why people don't reach their academic goals. I see THAT all the time to, and counsel students constantly to not let it become their enemy.

Use the same persistence and tenacity you used to get yourself through your D, and you will have that degree in no time at all!

Repeat after me: I can do this. I can do this. I CAN DO THIS!!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1184 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
coldshot
New Member
Member # 40882
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

NG,
Sorry to hear your frustration... I have been through the same situation. Don't forget to network with absolutely everyone you know. Applications are a tough way to get a job sometimes, and a good word from someone who knows you to a possible employer can do the trick. I got a great job that I love by simply emailing the owner of the company I wanted to work for, told him his company was interesting to me and said I would like to briefly meet to find out more about it. He agreed and after he hired me said he was impressed by my no nonsense approach and earnestness. I had no real direct experience in this particular industry.
I can tell from your posts you have a great personality.... let it work for you to find a job!
Good luck!

[This message edited by coldshot at 4:31 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)]


"The liar's punishment is, not in the least that she is not believed, but that she cannot believe anyone else." -- George B. Shaw

Posts: 46 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: coldshot
Violated
Member
Member # 21239
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

I understand completely, I haven't worked outside the home since '89! I have no real retirement, I'm scared shitless.


Divorced 10/2013

Posts: 548 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: West Coast
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

Okay, I went to the workshop. Feel all energized again that a career change is possible. Will go back next week for placement testing and a meeting with the advisor to go over my transcripts & course plotting.

SOMETHING has to change. This looking for work gig isn't working out.

So as I was sitting there the instructor was talking about essay questions & trying to find an angle that would make for a compelling story, something to make your application stand out and possibly get you the scholarship. I had to bite my tongue & shift in my seat repeatedly to not burst out laughing as they mentioned examples of what might have been a challenge or obstacle, or something you learned about yourself, e.g., learning to drive a car, living on your own for the first time, learning another language, volunteering at a blood drive. Oh.My.Word.

[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 4:00 PM, November 14th (Thursday)]


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9818 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

NG my DH was very recently in your position.
Obviously not the SAHM part, but he'd lost his job after 10 years of service. He doesn't have a degree, but has over 20 years experience in his field.

After a year of putting in applications and very few interviews, he was extremely discouraged too. At 46yrs of age, DH went back to school and he LOVES it. He never saw himself as the studious type, but he's had maintained a perfect 4.0 since he started.
Thankfully, he was able to get a part time job a couple of months ago and will be starting a full time job (while still going to school) next week.

Hang in there. It is an insanely difficult job market right now, but going to school is definitely something you can do to help yourelf.
Good luck!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6521 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

I should add that many schools/vocational colleges also have job placement services which can help you find work when you finish your program.


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6521 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
abbycadabby
Member
Member # 27428
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

NatureGirl-

Applying for/being awarded scholarships is absolutely a good way to fund a college education. But I meant applying for Federal Student Aid just to see what you qualify for. You might qualify for a federal pell grant which doesn't have to be repaid. Doesn't hurt to apply.

Also, I would urge you to look at the Occupational Outlook Handbook via the Bureau of Labor Statistics to get a feel for the projected rate of change for the field that you intend to make your career. This may or may not be of interest to you but I always found it helpful.

I'm glad you attended the workshop and that you're taking steps forward!


Posts: 1271 | Registered: Feb 2010
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

I have heard that you can call the Job Service (a part of the unemployment office) and go to college with their help because you are a displaced homemaker... I think there are certain programs you have to enroll in or something....


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2205 | Registered: Jan 2012
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, November 15th (Friday)

NG
I don't know if computers are your thing, but cybersecurity is HUGE right now. Even an AA in information security with heavy on the computer science, and you will be making 6 figures within less than 4 years!
Best of luck! I'm going back to school full time and quitting my job. It's scary, but I cannot get back into my field after being gone so long (to be a better wife and mother....grrrr) unless I go back to school full time AND get my certifications.
We are still standing after all this crap.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2326 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
StrongerOne
Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, November 15th (Friday)

I think you are one of the most awesome women I know about!

You can work on your education in chunks -- get an AA in a field that will get you a good job, one that is a field you think you are generally interested in.

Work for a while, save some $$, then work on the bachelor's degree. Your employer may kick in some of the tuition.

Repeat with graduate degree...

Look into grants and scholarships for women who are not "traditional age". I think the American Association of University Women has some. There are probably others.


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 872 | Registered: Sep 2012
ChoosingHope
Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, November 15th (Friday)

NG, you should organize people's attics and garages!

Just kidding! I'm so glad that you feel energized again. I know you'll do something great with your life!!!

-Hope


Posts: 1702 | Registered: Oct 2011
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, November 15th (Friday)

e.g., learning to drive a car, living on your own for the first time, learning another language, volunteering at a blood drive. Oh.My.Word.

A.Garage. Nuff said.

I'm thrilled for you NG. I feel a different energy since the D - I like it!!


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
exhausted lady
Member
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, November 15th (Friday)

I don't have any advice.....but I wanted to send you a HUGE virtual hug. Hang in there!

(((((Naturegirl))))))


Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr


Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, November 15th (Friday)

I am SO LOL at the thought of talking about The Garage in a scholarship application! Would it even be possible to reduce it down to a 350 word essay and still be able to convey the horror?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9818 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
gardens64
Member
Member # 38449
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, November 15th (Friday)

Hi Nature Girl I just wanted to commiserate. It is so hard. I am in a similar boat and it is so frustrating and stressful to see jobs go by that I am qualified for. I am also tired of filling out the same information on these online applications over and over again! Ugh.

I see your kids are in school. Can you do some volunteer work to build connections? I'm doing that now in my field. Also nonprofit orgs are often looking for extra help that may be a way to get some current experience and also a recent reference.

Good luck!


Posts: 57 | Registered: Feb 2013
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:15 AM, November 16th (Saturday)

Gardens, I have been volunteering in the community since the spring. I am part of a support group for people overcoming Really Big Problems, and I also am with a group that provides hippotherapy.

I now have a phone screen on Monday for a full-time position. I've had phone screens before, but only a couple. At least someone is interested enough to want to phone screen me!

I won't be talking about The Garage during the phone screen.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9818 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
gardens64
Member
Member # 38449
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, November 16th (Saturday)

Good luck on the phone screening!!!

I think this is one of the most challenging things for me. I gave up a very good career option to stay with WH. Additionally I stayed home with my kids. Now I feel like I am really paying for that. I am grateful for the time with my kids but why is caregiving so marginalized in this society?


Posts: 57 | Registered: Feb 2013
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, November 16th (Saturday)

I have the same questions, Gardens. I had my own business, I put it on hold when the kids came. The plan was when they got older I would pick it back up. It was never going to be enough for me to support a family on, it was going to supplement the salary EX made. Now that that's all over & done with, I can't resurrect my business. It will never be enough. To even barely make ends meet I'd need to be working 60 or more hours a week. That's not possible. So I've killed it, and that kills me. It kills a part of me to have to walk away from my career, my baby, my artistic soul. Even if I went to work for others in the industry, it would still require too many hours to make ends meet.

And now I have a hard time getting anyone to even give me a phone screen for a part-time receptionist position. It burns to know I'm competing against recent high school grads and losing out.

So I'm fully willing to completely, 100% change careers and go back to college & totally start OVER. I'll do it. It's just a bitch that I have to. It's a bitch that NONE of my life experience counts. At all.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9818 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Fireball72
Member
Member # 20152
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, November 16th (Saturday)

I don't know what state you're in, but several jurisdictions have programs for what they call "displaced homemakers"; there's even a special place on the FAFSA that asks the question. I think that you can get specialized help in your situation.

Google "displaced homemaker" on the Web and it will give you links to some state programs. Hopefully yours is one of them.

ETA: This link may also be helpful:
http://displacedhomemakers.blogspot.com/2012/01/finding-grants-for-displaced-homemakers.html

[This message edited by Fireball72 at 10:55 PM, November 16th (Saturday)]


XBS - 42 and fabulous :D
Remarried happily in 2013
A relationship is built for two. But apparently, some bitches don't know how to count!

Posts: 602 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: The Chesapeake Bay
courageous
Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, November 17th (Sunday)

Good luck with your phone screening!


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 651 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 25