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User Topic: Triggertastic.
OktoberMest
Member
Member # 34173
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

Wow - had an epic trigger today.

LonelyHusband and I have gone through dday 1 antiversary at the end of October pretty well and have been supporting each other ok so far. The whole of Nov and first 10days of Dec are the worst times for us, esp him as this period was really when I had my head inserted firmly where not only the sun does not shine, but the air smells pretty bad too.

It's been 2 years.

So today I have to go to a course for my work. I was given a lift by my employer at the course there and back - (LH fine with this). I had to leave at 5.30am as it was hours away by car, so left before LH was awake, and unusually I didn't make him stir before I left, despite giving him a kiss etc.

I sent LH texts to my way to the course from my phone at 7.30m to wake him up, but had no reply.

Once at the course my boss (male) and I separated and mingled with other practitioners, networking, catching up with colleagues etc.

So I'm sitting in the first lecture and I decided to text LH again. Just to let him know I'm there ok and I'll call in the next break in case he worried about not hearing from me via a call - it's a bit awkward with your boss in the car.

Anyway, I check 5 mins later, still no reply.

You have to understand LH is hopeless with his mobile, reading texts let alone replying to them. SO I guess nothing was odd.

The it hit me - big time...enter the trigger.

I went on a course in Nov 2 years ago, around this date (I'll be honest, I can't tell you whether it was today or not) but on the way home I met the xAP. Seedy.

So I'm sitting in the lecture room, getting more and more freaked out, for no real rational reason that LH has had enough and he was at the exact time clearly at home packing his stuff to leave me. Obviously the rational part of me is saying - doofus he's in a meeting and isn't checking his phone as he's ok. We're ok.

But is that enough - hell no. So I text again just saying contact me asap by text to let me know we're ok....still nothing. So after the first speaker I ducked out and rang LH. Nothing. Not a surprise as he's in a meeting.

But no, enter full on panicking now. So I send an email just calmly (ish) explaining I was very trigger and could he please call of everything was ok?

Minutes later (by co-incidence) he checked his phone and texted me...all ok, just in meeting.

Phew. I mean, THANK GOD. The relief....well I'm pretty sure you guys all know it.

First major trigger for a long time. Glad to have it in away - shows me that I have empathy for him and his triggers and how far I've come. But man, that sucked.

We're ok. He was in a meeting, not packing up to move out. I'm ok too.


Me: FWW (35) Growing up at last.
LonelyHusband: BH (41)
Dday 1: 29/Oct/11; Dday 2:15/Nov/11; last TT 15/Mar/12
In R...working my arse off.
When you're struggling with commitment to your marriage, just imagine what it's like to be a penguin.

Posts: 558 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

(((OktoberMest)))

Posts: 11743 | Registered: Mar 2008
Alyssamd24
Member
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

Glad to hear that it all worked out! I had a similar trigger moment earlier in the week myself and like you, panicked and thought the worst.


"I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against because he's all I ever knew of love"

Posts: 873 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
KBeguile
Member
Member # 38348
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)

((OM))

You're not the only one who's married to someone terrible at checking texts and phone calls.

Let's complicate matters by making DS absolutely addicted to playing iPhone games, shall we?


Me: fWS 32
Her: BS 35 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 4yo
M: 7 years
DDays: 2012/11/14, 2013/02/05, 2013/03/09
-
"Everything that happens now is happening 'now.'"
"What happened to 'then'?"
"We passed 'then.'"

Posts: 801 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
SoVerySadNow
Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, November 14th (Thursday)

You guys are indeed Okay.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Sam793
Member
Member # 37081
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, November 14th (Thursday)

I get these quite a bit. Yes they also freak me out. I want to be so accountable to my BS and the last thing I want is a trigger on either side. I'm glad all is ok and I know that sometimes it's my overreaction but again I also need to realize I put myself in this state.


Me: 38 BS: 33
3 y/o DD and one new DS
Married: 9 years
3.5yr A
Status: Each day I find more of how I screwed up

Posts: 249 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 6