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Just Found Out
User Topic: Dday #3 (SA)
Donewithhiscrap
New Member
Member # 41352
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

Holy moly - I don't even know where to begin.

WH is a SA. He has been "sober" since Dec 5. However, it's his constant TT & lies of omission that are KILLING me!

When I found out about the affair in Dec, he said that was it. Then I found emails in his secret account in May - so he admitted to 6 more. Then a couple weeks ago I found some more - and he finally admitted to about 25 (that he can remember).

I tell him that the part that is making it hardest for me is that he keeps lying and dragging it out. Just tell me & get it over with!!

Today I asked about his LTA (3mo)- if they had really only seen each other 4 times. He tells me it was 5 or 6. I asked if she was ever in our house - he tells me twice (ugh- now I have to sell the bed & couch!).

We wanted to work it out, but have decided to separate for now. Are there any SA spouses who have separated and made it work??


Me: BS (33)
Him: SAWH (39)
Ddays: 12/12, 5/13, 11/13
Body Count: 25+, mostly ONS & 1 3mo LTA

Posts: 4 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Sin City
Swims
Member
Member # 30992
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

Sweetie, hugs to you, you have been through a lot. But I think you should take a look at your username, do a wicked hard 180 and start focusing on YOU. Look at the healing library in the upper left corner, click on articles, and start healing yourself. Hugs and strength to you.

Edit:typo

[This message edited by Swims at 4:31 PM, November 14th (Thursday)]


Posts: 127 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: East Coast
painfulpast
Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

I completely agree with Swims. He's been lying to you (after being caught) for nearly a year, and we all know you still don't have the full story. This could go on forever.

Save yourself and your sanity and start thinking like this won't work out. You're young. You have a long life in front of you. Right now him being gone seems scary, but really, what's scarier than hearing your husband slept with at least 25 women since you've been married. That is incredibly scary. These women could have diseases, have mental disorders, a history of violence. He had no idea, and he willingly let all of them into your life.

He has no regard or respect for your marriage.

Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to end up with them.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1893 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

I just got done divorcing a SA. Please believe me when I tell you, you do NOT want to go down this path. (((HUGS)))


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9665 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 4