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User Topic: A night with tears again! Pain never ends!
Blackhair
Member
Member # 39451
Sad  Posted: 1:55 AM, November 18th (Monday)

Our SA is finalized in Oct. That is my choice and the only choice I have.

So we are separated. But life is not pretty at this point. Weekend is always the most difficult one for me with three young children.
XWH is in a Philippine again now to be with OW, he is going again three weeks for Christmas and New Year. Vs I am scared to think about the holidays!

He doesn''t care about the kids, he asked me to bring my five years old daughter with him, I said no, no chance. Especially with typhoon and many death there, absolutely No.

But why it still bothered me so much what he is doing???? My 5 year old daughter kept on telling me it is OW''s BD, it breaks my heart to hear that. I told her OW took daddy away from us.

I even went OLD and met this nice gentleman, but it did not help either...... I do not know what I want, sometimes I wish I did not pushed him to finalize the SA....so confused and lost! Tears.....The shit is so hard!

I am just so sad and lonely I guess. So when the pain is going to end?!
Hugs needed please!



M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 163 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:02 AM, November 18th (Monday)

You're not alone, Blackhair.

Sending big hugs.

(((Blackhair)))


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16420 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:55 AM, November 18th (Monday)

I'm not sure the pain ever really stops, it just becomes background noise as you heal. It isn't quick and it isn't linear, it is a roller coaster of emotions. Best thing you can do is make some new friends and focus on YOUR life. Figure out who you are. Focus on what makes you happy. Second guessing your decision is very normal too.

((Blackhair))


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4032 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 7:01 AM, November 18th (Monday)

(((blackhair)))

There are many things draining energy from your life. Dealing with your new found separation and then raising a 5 yr old and infant twins is very demanding. I would take cmego's suggestion to try and make some new friends. Maybe check around to see if there is a twins group or multiples group that deals with raising twins. You might find their support and experience valuable.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51511 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, November 18th (Monday)

(((blackhair)))

The dreaded word "time" is the only answer to the question of when the pain is going to end. Your pain is so very fresh and so very raw, you need to be gentle with yourself right now. The first holidays alone are the the hardest--the "first" of anything is very scary.

I even went OLD and met this nice gentleman, but it did not help either...
Said very gently--It is too soon. Dating isn't designed to "help" us heal, we need to do our healing before we start to date.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3010 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Topic Posts: 5