Off Topic
User Topic: That stupid fourth word
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, November 18th (Monday)


I've been waiting to hear three little words. They came today, but with a fourth one, unwanted, tagged on.

"It's not cancer...yet."

I guess that's a good thing? Still wrapping my mind around it. It's messing with the new dream career, the one where I was supposed to be moving to a developing nation next week.

Surgery is scheduled, and fortunately I'm working with a really good specialist, one of the best in the area from what my doctor tells me. He's confident that he can remove all of the abnormal cells, the precancerous ones.

Like I told a friend the other day, when your life plan involves getting divorced at 27, hearing you might have cancer at 29 seems like the next logical step, right?

I'm surprisingly zen about it. I know it'll all work out how it's supposed to - just makes it tough to plan when I have movers coming next week, and flights already booked to the other side of the world, and work piling up on my new desk that I haven't even seen yet, and so much eagerness to get out of here and start the exciting new chapter that's waiting for me.

I'd love some healthy mojo.

[This message edited by Amazonia at 12:59 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)]

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, November 18th (Monday)


Yes, it's a good thing. I know you're busy, and things are hectic, but it could always be worse.

It's a stupid fourth word, but try to remember the first three words. They could have been different, they could have been "It is cancer".

Yes, surgery stinks, but I felt blessed when I heard the same words, and had the three bad spots cut out. I had to have more stereotactic biopsies since, but I still haven't heard those three words. I hope you never do. A fourth word is a blessing.

Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.

Posts: 2795 | Registered: Feb 2006
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, November 18th (Monday)

Covering you in prayer, Ama!



Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!

Posts: 21072 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, November 18th (Monday)

Mojo headed your way. It sounds like you are in good hands, and from what I understand about where you are going, there should be some good hands there as well. (((Ama)))

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Posts: 3459 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, November 18th (Monday)

Sending healing mojo your way!

Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13810 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, November 18th (Monday)


Sending you mojo good thoughts, and prayers.

Posts: 35933 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, November 18th (Monday)

Sending you mojo.

It is always hard to hear the you might have cancer no matter what the age. I was nearly 31 when I was told I had it and there were evidence that it had spread. It shook my world. My only advice is to stay on top of it and make sure your doctors know your history when you see them for anything.


Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 52682 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, November 18th (Monday)

Sending love and healing Ama.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17558 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, November 18th (Monday)


Have I been out of the loop or did you keep this to yourself???

Ama! you have all my prayers and healing thoughts!!

Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24597 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
solus sto
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, November 18th (Monday)

millions of hugs to you.

Remember: the important word is "NOT," not "yet."

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8857 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, November 18th (Monday)

jrc, I have mostly just discussed it with a few close people IRL. This is the first it's been online ('s not going on fb at all )

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, November 18th (Monday)

Keeping you in my prayers.

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5284 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:06 PM, November 18th (Monday)


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, November 18th (Monday)


mojo MoJo MOJO.

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8721 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, November 18th (Monday)

You're in my thoughts.

I had precancerous cells removed 21 years ago. I remain vigilant, but I'm still taking names and kicking asses every single day.

You will, too. Please keep us posted.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 15334
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, November 18th (Monday)

(((hugs)))(((mojo))) and (((prayers)))

{Him}FBH - 43 (WifeHad5)
{Me} FWW - 44
2 kids 7 & 12
Reconciled :)
Beauty and folly are old companions.--Benjamin Franklin

Posts: 10733 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Midwest
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, November 18th (Monday)

Ugh. Sending strength.

Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, November 18th (Monday)

Sending healing thoughts and mojo your way!

Posts: 7562 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, November 18th (Monday)

ohmygoodness! (((((Ama)))))

Thinking about you and sending you healthy, healing mojo!!

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Lighthouse Heart
Member # 8899
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, November 18th (Monday)

I'm very happy your fourth word was a good one. It's good to have this taken care of now even with everything else you have going on. It seems like a lot to deal with but you can and will do it.

Along the way please make sure you don't push your recovery. Do what you can, as you can. It will make a difference.

Wishing you strength and healing thoughts.

LH (who's fourth word was metastic)

I release the past so I am free to fight for my future unencumbered.

Posts: 2293 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Canada
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, November 18th (Monday)

Ama- if you need anything, LMK, ok?

You just gotta be have too many adventures ahead of you!

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11229 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)


Sending you major mojo, strength and positive, healing thoughts.


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2615 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

I'm sorry I'm just glomming on to this now. Sending tons of strength and mojo.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

I just went through this myself-- I had to get a "moderately dysplastic nevus" excised completely because the first biopsy didn't get all of it, and if left behind, it could ostensibly turn into cancer some day (or not).

Anyway, I was on pins and needles for about 2 1/2 months because that's how long it took for the plastic surgery consult, then the surgery, then the results to come in. But they got all of it, and there wasn't anything else in there to worry about.

So, I'm sending you some of that mojo-- you're just having preventative work done so that you don't experience a "some day."

BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

Sending all the mojo I can muster. Fingers crossed, positive thoughts!

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5297 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

(((Ama))) Sending prayers and mojo your way

Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.

Posts: 1171 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

((((Ama)))) Sending you everything I've got.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25776 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)

Oh Ama....((((Amazonia))) I'm sorry, how scary! But "yet" is promising because that means they are catching whatever quickly and will monitor. Sending you positive healing energy.....

Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15293 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)

Just to update:

I had surgery this morning. My doctor/specialist was able to squeeze me in before another surgery, instead of scheduling me for January like he should have. This way I can still move around the world in a few weeks.

Everything went smoothly. Doctor said that the surgery was exactly what he expected, abnormal cells were exactly where he'd seen them and he was able to remove them quickly and easily. I was in surgery for about 10 minutes, then an hour or so in the recovery room. By the time they woke me up, the anesthesia had more or less left my system and I've been resting at home and taking care of piles of paperwork since 10 this morning.

My follow up is in two weeks, and that should clear me to fly.

Thanks for all the healthy mojo. I feel peace about this, and my doctor seemed pretty confident when he called me to check in a few hours ago.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)

That sounds very positive!! I hope the universe doesn't interfere any more in your plans.

Him WH
2 ddays in '07
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)

Glad things went well. Extra good health mojo headed your way.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Posts: 3459 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)

Really glad everything went smoothly this morning, Ama. Be gentle with yourself as you heal. No pushing, ok?


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25776 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)

You have been on my mind. So glad it went well and the surgeon is comfortable with results. I, too, have had several dysplasias removed, but not so young. Of course, you are so wise to be hyper vigilant! Truly the key...

Holding you in the *LIGHT*

Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3670 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, November 28th (Thursday)

Glad everything went smoothly. I hope this never darkens your doorstep again.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

Posts: 3432 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Member # 18132
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, December 4th (Wednesday)

Just catching up on SI. I'm sorry to hear about all this but glad to hear the surgery went well and things are sounding positive.

Sending you continued healing mojo and good luck mojo for your new career/adventure

"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Posts: 1860 | Registered: Feb 2008
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, December 5th (Thursday)

If you had done, what I think you did--add a multivitamin to your daily routine. It's supposed to help keep abnormal incidences down.
(I went through this 9 yrs ago)

And if I'm wrong about what it was, I hope your follow up goes smoothly and you're able to continue with your plans/dreams with no further bumps on the course! (I wish you the best, regardless of whether I'm right or wrong!)

[This message edited by itainteasy at 8:56 AM, December 5th (Thursday)]

Posts: 3419 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, December 5th (Thursday)


FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 7697 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, December 5th (Thursday)


Sending lots of healing vibes and good mojo for your worldly adventures.

Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

Thanks all! I''m doing really well. Aside from the nightly antibiotic cream routine, its like nothing even happened. I go in Wednesday for a post op appointment to confirm all is well.

As for vitamins, I just finished eight rounds of vaccinations for the move, so I''ve been popping a handful of vitamins every morning for 2 months to boost my immune system. In theory, it''s already the strongest it''s ever been.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

Glad it went well, Ama. Onward and upward!

Age: 64..ummmmmmm,, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks

Posts: 7285 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
Exit Wounds
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

Ama, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Glad it went well.

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Member # 37826
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, December 11th (Wednesday)

Just saw this (I don't usually read Off Topic). I'm so glad everything went so well. All the best on your other-worldly adventures. And thanks for your post of how life has it's own plans for you. It's a real keeper. I especially noticed that the line keeps going upwards into the sun, despite the sidetracks.

Have fun!!

Him,BH,70 - Happy Birthday!
I use capital letters for emphasis, not yelling!

Posts: 73 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Chicago area
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, December 11th (Wednesday)

Wonderful update!

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, December 13th (Friday)


Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1874 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
Topic Posts: 45