SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Ex spreading lies
Aqej
New Member
Member # 37097
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, November 18th (Monday)

A while back I found out my husband was cheating and I left him. I kept it civil and to all appearances so did he. I just found out he's actually been running around telling everyone that I was the one who cheated. (For the record I didn't.)

How should I deal with something like this? My friends are on a warpath and want to tell everyone the full story but my mom is advising me to take the high road and stay classy because otherwise people will think less of me and more of his story. Advice?


Posts: 17 | Registered: Oct 2012
standingonmarble
Member
Member # 31217
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, November 18th (Monday)

There is nothing wrong with your friends setting the story straight. As for you, you can still stay classy and let them do the work that needs to be done. Lies like this can come back to haunt you in ways you might not ever expect, they need to be squashed. IMO


At one time he was a man standing on marbles. Now I am a woman standing on marble.....

We are done fighting with each other and decide to fight FOR each other.


Posts: 737 | Registered: Feb 2011
Aqej
New Member
Member # 37097
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, November 18th (Monday)

I immediately went to any of our mutual friends and set the record straight and everyone who didn't immediately choose his side in the divorce said that they didn't believe anything he said anyways (apparently he's also saying a couple of other stories like he chose to divorce me because I was racking up enormous bills and I divorced him because he got a speeding ticket. )

So that made me feel better but it's still infuriating because I was trying so hard to not let it degenerate when I was the one hurt.


Posts: 17 | Registered: Oct 2012
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, November 18th (Monday)

I had the same experience. In my case, he was also trying to pass off OW as his new g.f. at the same time. I only outed it to specific folks in our circle, and let them do the rest.

I would advise you to let your friends do the majority of the talking for you. Your XH will soon enough out himself. It's hard hiding the sort of crazy that having an A entails. You can already see it by what he's saying regarding your D. Even dumb people can suss out what's really going on.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 756 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
LifeIsBroken
Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, November 18th (Monday)

My xh did the same thing. Fortunately, it quickly got back to a close friend of mine who actually made several phone calls, one to the owner of the company where the 'message bearer' worked and told the owner he had better get it quashed NOW, that my friend had seen the truth and it was xh doing the cheating, not me. I love my friends for having my back.... as that is what friends do for one another. Let your friends set the record straight.


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 495 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
lifestoshort
Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, November 18th (Monday)

Im one who likes to set the story straight too but I only did it with a few key people. not a whole slew, altho all my fbook friends know!


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 691 | Registered: Mar 2008
Topic Posts: 6