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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: What can I do about this? Help requested.
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Question  Posted: 7:37 AM, November 21st (Thursday)

What can I do about harassing emails to me from fow/nw? I have her filtered to a separate folder where they stay unread. I am only doing this to keep a paper trail. However, is there ANYTHING I can do to prevent her from contacting me? I mean if she isn't directly saying she is going to kill me, will I be laughed at if I try to enforce some type of sanction?
She is barely literate, redneck low class, extremely emotionally immature, participates in alienating my one teen who has mental health issues against me, has made false calls to DCF to harass me, discusses things with the kids such as exact dollar amounts of child support and other adult financial information regarding the divorce. When the other kid sticks up for me she calls her sassy and disrespectful and together with wxh tried to say they wanted to see one kid and not the "sassy" one at holiday visitation break because they didn't like how she was acting. Also a plan to divide and conquer and work more on alienating the teen against me. Just as xwh kept me isolated from friends and family and moved us to a dirt road in the country.
How is it that I am or maybe better said: I feel powerless to just let her do these things? I've asked wxh to ask her to stop speaking poorly about me in front of the kids. He says she "has the right to free speech" and for me to "stop trying to be bossy and controlling" FML I try to stay away from their drama but this should not be allowed. Communication with xwh is only by email per decree by the way so all of this is recorded.
Yes I document, yes the kids are in therapy.
That doesn't stop her continued behavior.
Does anyone know what I can do for myself to improve this situation? I feel stuck.
Please don't say hire a lawyer or talk to a lawyer. I do not have the resources to do that. Unless a free lawyer educated in family law and personality disorders happens to fall from the sky with the sole purpose to give me the best legal service ever, it will not happen in my case.

Posts: 4715 | Registered: Dec 2009
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, November 21st (Thursday)

Can you discuss this with the police to see if this is considered Harassment? If so then they might could help you get on a path to getting a restraining order.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52586 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, November 21st (Thursday)

If you tell someone to stop contacting you ONE TIME, and after that time, they again contact you, that's harrassment. Enforceable by law.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3392 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, November 21st (Thursday)

Time to lawyer up and get a restraining order. Once you have a restraining order, if she continues contacting you, call the police.
So long as there is a valid restraining order, the police will issue a warrant for her arrest.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2332 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
anewday78
Member
Member # 39357
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, November 21st (Thursday)

Time to lawyer up and get a restraining order.
And while you're at it, gather evidence that there's parental alienation happening at their house and give it to your lawyer.

Posts: 350 | Registered: May 2013
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, November 21st (Thursday)

I totally understand about being hard up for financial resources to pay a lawyer. IIRC, most courts have a clerk you can contact who will direct you to a "Friend of the Court" that can walk you through various forms & procedures to file a RO. Also, the police might help you do it. Also, a women's domestic violence advocacy group might have resources for you.

Believe it or not, most county websites have very helpful information on them. You might start there!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9821 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, November 21st (Thursday)

I would recommend you take the emails you have straight to the Department of Children and Family Services or whatever branch of government in your area it is that handles child abuse.

I'm not as concerned about the emails being sent to you, text you can have them sent directly to your junk folder, As I am about the abuse being perpetrated on your kids.

I would like to believe that they would take the case from there.

strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2980 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Charity411
Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, November 21st (Thursday)

When I had an ex-boyfriend constantly contacting me in spite of repeated requests for him to stop, I found the police to be of very little help in terms of any action. They don't like to get involved in "squabbles". But they did give me advice on how to respond to him.

First they suggested that I post and send an order of no trespass. This doesn't seem to be your issue. But they also advised me to put in writing that he was not to contact me in any way and spell out completely all the possible ways he had been doing that, and then send it to him certified. And email him too. Some examples of what he was doing were, sending cards and letters, leaving letters on my car and under rocks in my yard, sending flowers, calling my friends to have them talk me into dating him again, waiting for me in my work parking lot, posting poems meant for me in letters to the editor and on and on. This went on for years. So I listed every last option and demanded it stop. While he didn't accept the letter, he did open the email and responded to it indignantly. I had him.

I then went to my local States Attorney. They are the ones that decide who does or doesn't get prosecuted. The States Attorney now not only had a list of all the inappropriate contact, but he had proof that he got it, read it and didn't intend to stop. He prosecuted him for stalking. It didn't cost me a dime. You elect your States Attorney so he serves you. While he can't give you free legal services, he can hear you out and take action if he thinks it's warranted under your state's statutes.

I was granted a two year restraining order. And then automatic weapons became legal in my state. He wanted one and couldn't get one with an active restraining order so he took me back to court to get it rescinded. At that point our States Attorney represented me at the hearing of his own accord. He was appalled and the judge refused to rescind it.

What you're going through is not unlike what I went through. It's just a different relationship dynamic. You should not have to be subjected to unwanted contact. You just have to do all the homework and then get someone who will listen. Be relentless. And I hate to say this, but you may have to have similar restriction put on WH. She should not be allowed to be her mouthpiece.


Posts: 385 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 8