One person I spoke to re D yesterday gave me some information. In one packet there was a link to an article about working moms basically getting screwed.
At first when I started to read it I had a lot of anxiety and panic and OMG how can this be I'd rather stay married and just work to make him as miserable as me! (talk about f'ed up thinking).
But as I sat and processed the article, I think basically what it was saying was to stop sacrificing being a mom to be breadwinner because you are with a slacker. Live your ideal life now as much as possible because often judges try to stay with what works.
I think I have a plan now! I think I feel less hopeless now!
Since I am pregnant, working a f/t job and a p/t internship and going to school, I am going to say for my health (true) I need to cut back. I plan on cutting back in the least flexible and most demanding place (my f/t job).
I have a family budget made up. Split it in half.
My p/t internship and maybe another very small p/t job (my current cut back or another all together) would cover my half no problem.
I can take the time I have off to rest, get ahead during the day with school work so I can participate more in my son's activities, VISIBLY not just doing all the work behind the scenes as I do.
There is NO reason H couldn't get a job that could net him at least enough for his half of everything. And that would be EVERYthing even incidentals.
I lose my f/t job there goes the health insurance hitch. Each of us gets gov't healthcare at our own expense (as I do with my school bill and he does with his storage bill/ebay bills).
I just can't see ANY reason to keep killing myself to take care of someone like this who only gets MORE for doing LESS. I am not attached to my career (as you can tell by the fact I am back in school to change careers). I am not attached to my credit rating (don't need it really). I am not attached to my image or a lifestyle (I prefer simplicity and minimalism). I've been chasing a dream (my grad school & internship) and why can't this other life be a dream to make happen too right?
If he can't find work, oops there goes the phone/internet (I can get mine free via library and my brother). If he can't find work, oops we're eating ramen and not shopping for anything non-food. If he can't pitch in and find something, I turn down the heat to save on the gas bill (southern whiney boy needs 78 degrees).
I'm getting excited about budget grocery shopping, freezer cooking, packing lunches to save $ and mommy stuff with more time.
Do I need a smack back to reality since reading that article?