SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: Omg!!!
finallymefirst
Member
Member # 41060
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, November 23rd (Saturday)

I am a long,long,long, LONG time lurker, all the way back to Marzipan and the schmoopies lol... Anyway, I was just at the bowling alley and all of a sudden OW was a standing a few feet away from me. I couldn't believe the balls on this woman. At first I thought that she didn't recognize me, but the other mom at the bowling alley believes that she was purposely marking her territory. XWH eventually showed up and didn't speak to either of us and walked away. I suppose he was shellshocked at the scene. He came back and spoke to me and asked how I was doing, but didn't speak to her. He is text book passive aggressive and if she mentions the slight, it will definitely be her fault if she shows anger.

This woman sounded like a dude. The disparity between the two of us is so great that it would be rude, catty and ungracious of me to ever comment on her looks again. I felt a little sad after I left because I felt that my XWH must have been feeling pretty low to turn to that during our marriage. I just didn't know he was that vulnerable and had such low standards. Anywhoooo... valuable lessons learned. Onward and upward!!! I texted my friends, but they don't understand any infidelity related angst.


Posts: 120 | Registered: Oct 2013
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, November 23rd (Saturday)

Welcome to D/S and happy you came out of lurking.

I just didn't know he was that vulnerable and had such low standards

It's really sad what many WS will have sex with for validation. We've had members make a photo gallery of OWs. Pretty scary stuff.

Anywhoooo... valuable lessons learned.
As SIers say...it's not how you look, not what you didn't/did do, not what you say, it's about something missing in their character and lack of boundaries to make them feel better about themselves. OPs can be with very low feeders on the food chain.
Hugs, happy you caught the lesson.
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20383 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
finallymefirst
Member
Member # 41060
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, November 23rd (Saturday)

Oh thanks Gma,,I feel truly blessed and fortunate that I am doing so much better than this time last year. I'm grateful for the hard lessons learned because I was not doing enough self care

Posts: 120 | Registered: Oct 2013
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, November 23rd (Saturday)

It can be a long road to feel healed but it's worth all the effort !
Taking care and spoiling ourselves should be our #1 priority after the storm we get put in but for me it wasn't natural. I always took care of others. 5 1/2 yrs past dday and separation, I'm better at it.
Enjoy the Holidays and find peace with new traditions.

Gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 4:40 PM, November 23rd (Saturday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20383 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:33 PM, November 23rd (Saturday)

I just didn't know he was that vulnerable and had such low standards

He didn't always have low standards. He picked the best when he picked you. It was when he decided to find someone who would fuck his sorry, married ass that his standards were forced into a nosedive.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2110 | Registered: Jan 2013
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, November 24th (Sunday)

Hey finally, I know it can be a real shocker to discover stuff like that after the fact.

I was one who put together a gallery gma is referring to after digging up a few pics of x's many 'lovelies' online.

She and I shared that special bond of having been married to sick freaks who just kept hoovering up those bottomfeeders and man, it was a mindfuck to see those pics and realize that that's what they were up to when our backs were turned.

She is absolutely right when she says self-care is #1 after making it through that shitstorm.

Onward and upward and all that.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17551 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 6