New Beginnings
User Topic: 2014 what will it bring you?
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 5:21 AM, November 24th (Sunday)

With only a month till Christmas, it has got me thinking about things I want to achieve next year. What is your wish list for 2014. Things to accomplish, maybe a few bucket list things ticked off or something you want to see happen. I feel like much of 2013 I have been simply treading water, so I want some new goals for the new year.

I'll start with a few:

1. A trip away with the kids to a new destination - not sure where yet though.
2. I would like to try something new, something like paddle boarding.
3. To work more on me for 2014, get back to the healthy me and lose some weight. Which if I'm happier and healthier will inturn help me a better mother to my kids.

"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1360 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 6:06 AM, November 24th (Sunday)

1. A mission trip to central America. Too bad my XWX wants to make this his first. Good thing its a big group and God is faithful to give us strength.
2. 1st quarter 2014: finish cleaning up all the crap out of the house X left behind. That includes giving me a little more time to finish healing. Dday was 6 years ago but I want to prove to myself that I can be happy as a singleton.
3. Start dating. I've been married twice, but never really dated. Both times I got serious too fast. This time I want to meet some guy friends first.

BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo

Posts: 1033 | Registered: Dec 2008
Member # 37991
Default  Posted: 6:06 AM, November 24th (Sunday)

Great topic, I have been thinking about this very thing!

-- finish my masters plus 30 (another certification level and pay raise)
-- only 19 lbs to a 'normal' bmi
-- clean the garage
-- two places I want to visit this year: Taos and the Guggenheim in NYC.

I know what you mean about treading water. I'm finding I can finally start focusing on the present and future, and the past has less of a hold on me.

BSO, 53
exWSO, who cares
DD: 11/18/12
DD2: 11/21/12
Kicked him to the curb 11/21/12
I tramp a perpetual journey.
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Posts: 118 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Red State SE US
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 7:00 AM, November 24th (Sunday)

Thank you for this post! It is powerful to name your goals.

1. Complete my masters and build a career in my new
2. Learn to kind and forgiving to myself.

3. Organize,organize,organize!

There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1666 | Registered: Mar 2004
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, November 24th (Sunday)

I hit the big 6-0 this year. I think this is the year to make that trip to Hawaii

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20281 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, November 24th (Sunday)

I turn 30 so I intend on making my 2014 full of changes.
I get officially divorced in 10 days so 2014, I will be single.
I graduate with a second bachelors in less than 3 weeks.
I intend on relocating from my current state and starting a career.
Since my ex husband and I have been separated for almost a year now, I feel ready to seriously date again and I look forward to it when I relocate.

[This message edited by movingforward13 at 7:23 AM, November 24th (Sunday)]

Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 640 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, November 24th (Sunday)

1. I'll have a new job in 2014. Don't know what yet but I have two options I'm looking at.

2. Really ramp up my running to get a run in every other day.

3. Lose 20 - 30 lbs and get back to my best weight I had before my surgery.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

Posts: 3432 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, November 24th (Sunday)

1. Working my ass off in school.
2. Start interning in my new career.
3. Learn to be a better dater. I seem to suck at it.

me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4183 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, November 24th (Sunday)

Well, possibly quite a bit!

I'm considering a job change, but it's early days yet.

I would like to take a small overnight trip with my kids.

I think I'm open to the possibility of dating, but like newnormal stated, I want to be relaxed and slow about it. Things got serious pretty quickly with XWH, and I'm not the least bit interested in repeating that mistake.

I want to get back into better self care-- maybe taking yoga and/or meditation classes again, going for more massages (my first is next week!), getting out and walking again.

BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, November 24th (Sunday)


1. Continue to get as much training and education as I can in order to prepare myself for advancement at my job.
2. More money coming in as I get my 6 month and 1 year review.
3. Still rebuilding my credit and it is going well so far.
4. Travel a bit with IrishLad. Closer to home destinations this year.
5. Continue to focus on me and my healing (I have finally reached indifference)
6. Continue to grow and be grateful for where I am on the journey to where I want to be
7. To start getting in shape and exercising. I miss it and I can't afford a gym membership. I am hoping I can buy a treadmill or something come tax return time.

[This message edited by IrishLass518 at 11:30 AM, November 24th (Sunday)]

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, November 24th (Sunday)

I like this topic!

Hopefully 2014 will bring me -

1. A qualifying time for the Boston marathon.
2. There were two things I lost the desire to do after D-day: knit and brew beer. I just finished a hat for Teslet and am working on a scarf for him. Now, if I could start brewing again next year, I would really feel like I reclaimed something.
3. My folks are within 5 years of retiring and my dad made a very interesting proposal to me. It's a great idea but I'll need to get a couple of financial ducks in a row during 2014 to make it happen...and see how the housing market is doing in my area...and be willing to pull the trigger if/when the opportunity presents itself...I dunno, we'll see.
4. More camping with Teslet. We got two weekend campouts in last year. Hoping for 4 weekend campouts and one longer campout somewhere interesting this summer.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, November 24th (Sunday)

I play too:

1. Taking my house back when my roommate moves out and turning the den and the bedroom and bathroom she is renting into my sanctuary. And while I am at it, continuing to de-clutter and upgrading the rest of the house room by room.

2. Working my two additional contract jobs as much as possible to stash away the money for travel with DDs.

3. Going to Hawaii with DDs in February.

4. Starting my flight training.

5. Going to Europe with DDs for 4 weeks in June/July.

6. Losing a few pounds and getting back into shape.

7. NOT do date for all of 2014. 2014 is ME time only

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, November 24th (Sunday)

I haven't finalized goals yet, but I do have some (of course, because I am type-A and listy!):

1. Marathons in at least 2 more states

2. Race at least 300 miles

3. Read at least 52 books

4. Go to at least 12 concerts

5. Go to at least 24 movies in the theater

6. Average yoga at least 3 times per week

7. Average at least 30 miles running per week

8. Bike to work more days in 2014 than 2013

9. Europe with my mom (she wants to meet my host families from when I was an exchange student nearly 20 years ago.)

10. Finish knitting the Chicago Bears scarf for my friend Kate

11. Brew a batch of mead

12. Paint my bedroom and get my fabulous closet lights installed

It's going to be a great year!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 3404 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 39170
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, November 24th (Sunday)

11. Brew a batch of mead

phmh: I tried mead a few years ago (raspberry, yum!), but it's something like $200 for 6 cans... Please send me some. LOL

Me: BS (32)
Him: WH (31)
Married 3 years.
Confessed to PA April 21 2013.

DS (6), DS (18 months)

Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".

Status: Done like dinner

Posts: 277 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The frozen North, eh?
Member # 39170
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, November 24th (Sunday)

I think two goals are realistic for me at this time. If I add too many, I may not accomplish them all.

I will:

1- Start saving money. (Hopefully the lawyer will be all paid up by the new year and I can actually start doing this!)

2- Continue working to improve my organization.

Me: BS (32)
Him: WH (31)
Married 3 years.
Confessed to PA April 21 2013.

DS (6), DS (18 months)

Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".

Status: Done like dinner

Posts: 277 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The frozen North, eh?
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, November 24th (Sunday)

2013 was spent trying to keep our heads above water. Hubby was unemployed from August 2012 til a month ago. Our savings are completely wiped out and we have bills that are behind still.

So with that in mind, for 2014:
1. Rebuild savings with a larger buffer (8+ months rather than 3-4 months of income).
2. Pay off any remaining credit card debt.
3. Study for CPA exam.
4. Save for a romantic get away for hubby and me.
5. Lose the remaining (stubborn) 20lbs that I keep losing a portion of, then regaining.

ETA: That should have read August 2012, not August 2013.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 12:00 PM, November 26th (Tuesday)]

Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.

Posts: 6525 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 3:28 AM, November 25th (Monday)

Wow I am in awe of you guys, so many wonderful goals

"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1360 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, November 25th (Monday)

Well winter semester is my time for setting social life aside and going for it in the education dept.


- Two evening history seminars:

One about homicide in Britain (juicy and I love the prof) and one about the fantasy world of Tolkein (yes this is a for-credit course!). Apparently the prof is a total wonk, so it should be intense but interesting).

- The next online course for HTML web stuff (the last of two prerequisites), it's only six weeks so I'll be done by mid February and will be able to focus on the history assignments after that until April. And with the pre-reqs completed I'll be able to cherry-pick dates and times for the rest of the certificate courses over the summer and fall.

- Sting + Paul Simon at the end of February!!!!

- Summer road trip to take one of my handmade guitars back to its maker for a serious makeover. He has not seen it in probably 20 years, and he lives up country on a beautiful piece of land, so it will take me to places I haven't seen in at least that long, last time with my mom in 1995.

- A week with my BFF who is coming from Doha to stay in July. She loves my new place so much she's decided to make it an annual visit.

- Learning some classical and Spanish pieces on my (hopefully-soon-to-be-in-my-hands!) new nylon string guitar. I'm ordering it from France and it's one of only six in the world of that kind. That's MY 60th birthday/Xmas present to myself.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 10:41 AM, November 25th (Monday)]

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17488 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, November 25th (Monday)

Since 2013 has sucked incredibly, I am really looking forward to starting a new year! A couple of things include:

1. Going to Turks and Caicos Islands with DD17 in March for my Independence Celebration trip (subsidized with proceeds with XPOS's crap left at my house that I sold, seemed appropriate). Promised DD earlier this year that I would take her on a trip somewhere when the dust settled because she has been through so much as well.
2. Try to get in better physical shape. Am thinking about trying to get back into martial arts (for the exercise aspect) that I did for years before it fell by the wayside because of XPOS.
3. Pick at least one major outside project for the house to get done. That is part of my long term plan to do one thing each year outside to increase property value for when I go to sell it in 4-5 years (inside has been done already).
4. Enjoy having DS20 back home when he exits the military in July. All my kids will be near me again!

BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet

Posts: 1187 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, November 25th (Monday)

GREAT POST!!! Nice to be able to put positive thoughts out there..

1) Finish MBA. Should be done next November.

2) Divorce final by end Feb - Mid-March.

3) Hopefully close on the dream home I've found (made offer contingent upon not being able to close until divorce is final (ninety days-ish); waiting to see if they accept my offer or not)

4) Teach myself how to play the dulcimer and how to garden without killing plants :)

5) Spend more time with family and friends and Laugh more!

Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.

Posts: 429 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
Member # 26912
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, November 25th (Monday)

1) Lose this dam 10 pounds that just wont go away no matter how much I diet and exercise.

2) I hope to move closer to being a secure trusting wife who doesnt always second guess a great man who deep down I know loves me and I can trust... I need to work on me and I know it ...

3) Stop nibbling my nails and let them grow for once..

4) Get through pre menopause!!!!

5) Keep working out regularly and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

[This message edited by Dawnie at 1:55 PM, November 25th (Monday)]

DIVORCED! Remarried to a real man!
BW (me) - 41 (now 46)
WH (him) - 43 (now 48)
OW - 23 yr old foreign gold digging whore looking for her American meal ticket
1 14 yr old son (now 19)
married 20 years/together 25 years
D day - 9/23/2009 5pm

Posts: 802 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Mid Atlantic coast
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, November 25th (Monday)

I turn 40 in a week 1/2. I had plans... But now they seem silly.

Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, November 25th (Monday)

I love all the travel and education plans. You guys are awesome.

I am doing a short 3 days course to give me a minor speciality in my field...cross connection control for plumbing.

SO and I are building a house in the country that will include a large shop for him which we are both looking forward to.

My brother is coming out to visit me....yippee!!

We started working out about 3 weeks ago and would like to continue that.


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
Member # 34957
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)

1. Be healthy! 2013 sent me to the hospital for more surguries than I care to ever experience again. I'm healthy now and plan on staying that way.

2. Make something new once a week. I own a craft shop but since this year was full of ups and downs I didn't have a whole lot of time to make new stuff. This year, that's changing.

3. Start dating God. I haven't been to church in a while nor have I picked up my Bible since Spring. I've spent some time dating, and it's been fun, but I think spending more time in my faith will serve me better.

Happy days are here again:)

Posts: 158 | Registered: Feb 2012
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, November 28th (Thursday)

Actually developing some real goals would be a good I feel like I'm just on auto-pilot all of the time, just doing what I have to do to get through life. I'm not unhappy - three years out from Dday, I'm feeling pretty good overall - but still have some work to do.

This is an inspiring post.

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, November 29th (Friday)

Excellent thread!

I'd like to launch my esty artisan soap shop

I'd REALLY like to move south instead of just talking about it every winter...

To that end, my goal is to take more vacation time and actually travel to a few places I might ultimately like to move to, check them out.

Continue a new "same time next year" get-together tradition with my best high school buds. We started in late April of this year, and I'm hoping the tradition goes on for a long, long time

Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1873 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
Member # 38705
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, November 29th (Friday)

1) to be happy (my forever goal - seems I cannot seem to capture it long term.)
2) to be healthy (exercise, lower my bp)
3) and to try to find some financial stability since the last two years I have been laid off 3 months a piece...

Sometimes it's lonely, Sometimes it's only me & the shadows that fill this room...
But it's a great day to be alive & the sun still shines when I close my eyes ~Travis Tritt

Posts: 83 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, November 29th (Friday)

thanks for such a great idea!! you guys have some awesome ideas and really goal worthy!!

mine was 1. to be fit- I lost 20lbs of weight (not needed to be so much cause im quite small) so I have to put a few lbs back on and become more toned.

2. travel and see a new place

3. have a baby alone (by medical means)

4. redo my bedroom (in progress)

5. find a hobby or take a class at school

6. kiss a man

6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.

Posts: 691 | Registered: Mar 2008
Member # 8923
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, November 30th (Saturday)

Probably going to move back into the house I own back in the country with SO. It will make it MUCH more affordable for us to follow our dreams, including our decision to rent a place in CO for most of the summer!

Keep losing weight and going to the gym together. If I can lose enough, I can get these darn knees replaced and eventually get rid of the near excruciating pain that I try to grin and bear currently.

In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus

***Used to be hit-by-a-train***
Remarried 2/14/14

Posts: 2295 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: USA
exhausted lady
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 1:06 AM, December 1st (Sunday)

Good post....and I've been thinking about what the new year may (or may not) hold for me.

I just want a chance to regroup and replenish my soul. This year was the year from hell in my life. I really need a chance to get myself centered again.

1) I need a few chances to get away with my Bear and actually have some fun.

2) I want to have at least a few months with no health crises with my mom. My dad died in July after a hard battle with cancer and I'm still reeling from that. Mom moved in with me in August. She has multiple health issues, and dementia to boot.

3) I want to just *breathe* without the weight of the world on my shoulders for a little while.

4) I want to check off at least one of the things on my bucket list. New Orleans? Havasupi Canyon? Rocky Mountain National Park (with the Stanley Hotel)? A week long motorcycle trip? ANYTHING!

Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr

Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 6:13 AM, December 1st (Sunday)

I want to just *breathe* without the weight of the world on my shoulders for a little while

That is a good one exhausted lady.

I feel exactly the same way.

"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1360 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, December 15th (Sunday)

Bumping up, for new people to take part and for those of us who have already written down 2014 items to remember about them :)

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 3404 | Registered: Dec 2011
Topic Posts: 32