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User Topic: Cheaters playing the victim pisses me off... Please Help!
marionwendy
Member
Member # 41303
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, November 27th (Wednesday)

Well its been 3 months since my DD, and Im still a screaming mess. Some days are better than others and I don't seem to cry as much. My WH A started in feb with just texting then PA happened one night in May as he worked out of town so he was back and forth from our hometown to where he was working. He lied in the beginning about the whole ordeal until I got a hold of his phone and found all the texts(which he later deleted and reset his phone). So I was unable to view all that was said between the two of them. He has come clean with how they met,(he doesn't even know her last name). He cries all the time apologizing, telling me he doesn't know why he did what he did, he said that he wasn't even attracted to her in that way! He has NC with her and has had none since DD. I also texted her to let her know I know and that there will be no contact between the two of them. She is also married and told my husband they live in the same house and co parent their children, but are not together, yah right! She only texted with my WH never a phone call! She told my WH that the walls were thin! LIAR! SLUT! (Husband of mine is very stupid)! What was the first clue Sherlock???? He begs me to forgive him says it will never happen again, is going to MC and also looking for a new job so that he is home all the time not on the road. He has been honest with family members and our grown children about what has gone on. Days when we fight though things come out of his mouth. He has said things like.... She complimented me at the bar I didn't approach her, I wouldn't of asked her for her phone number if she didn't come up to me! or.... If her husband was doing his job maybe she wouldn't of come on to me...or....I wanted to see if her tits were real? or.....She lied to me! She said her marriage was an unhappy one!!!! HELLO! You were married you Flaming Idiot! POOR WH its all someone elses fault! Oh and the biggest one of all ( I was Really Drunk I wouldn't of had the one night of sex with her If I was sober! But continues to beg for forgiveness, cries at the drop of a pin, Tells me Im the only one for him, to please forgive him, that his family is important and that's all he wants, Who is this man Ive know for 21 years? I don't believe what he tells me I don't know what is truth and whats a lie? Please Help!!!! Im so new here!


BS-49
WS-50
Married-18
Together-21
Children-2

Life is not measured by the breaths we take
but by the moments that take our breath away.


Posts: 216 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: canada
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, November 27th (Wednesday)

He will mourn the A. My H did after his EA.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Dawn58
Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, November 27th (Wednesday)

I don't know if this helps at all.....be sure to read the healing library, post here often. For me, I had to listen to his actions, not his words. I have to qualify that though, he never was remorseful or wanted to work on the marriage. He lied to me and all I could trust were his actions when he was trying to eat cake.

There are lots of people out there that reconciled the marriage, so I am sure they will have more sage experience to share with you.
(((hugs)))


I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 468 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, November 27th (Wednesday)

First...you need to call her husband and tell him. I bet he will be really surprised to hear his marriage was over.

It doesn't matter if she ran into him naked and waiting..he still should have said no.

He needs to own this. Read the 180...do it.

He was drunk or he wouldn't have done it? Um..was he drunk in the months he was sexting her?

180 his ass. A wayward throwing a pity party for themselves,while their BS is bleeding out is a coward.

FTG.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7478 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)

Poor man. He was just standing there, all helpless, and this FLOOZEY threw herself on his dick. He didn''t mean to screw her it''s just that he was in such shock that his body just took over when he had a vjj mounted on him!

Spare me.

When you''re married, the only acceptable answer is NO when someone come on to you or when you think about coming onto someone else. And NO is a complete sentence.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4856 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)

Poor man. He was just standing there, all helpless, and this FLOOZEY threw herself on his dick. He didn''t mean to screw her it''s just that he was in such shock that his body just took over when he had a vjj mounted on him!

Spare me.

When you''re married, the only acceptable answer is NO when someone come on to you or when you think about coming onto someone else. And NO is a complete sentence.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4856 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)

Words mean nothing, neither does crying..its actions. He s saying all the bullshit but what's he doing to fix it? That's when you will know its real He can't even admit he's effed up.. he's blaming ow for ?? tricking him, forcing him?? He doesnt get it and that would be very frustrating. Tell him to suck up the waterworks and show he's sorry.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5063 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 7