SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: It was a good day, but now...
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Concerned  Posted: 6:57 PM, November 28th (Thursday)

WS is being... More open and honest with me than ever. I feel an intimacy i've never felt with him. Today was great, we cooked together. (We've been doing more things together, and as a family, as one of my conditions to R). We had a great thanksgiving...

But his video game has a character called The Faceless Void. And since the prostitute is faceless to me (her face is edited out of her pictures on her escort website), it triggered me... i almost threw my ipad across the room... We talked about it, he answered my questions, his memory was triggered on some details, he cried. Now he's playing his game... And I am here typing on a message board about infidelity.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
brkn_heartd
Member
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, November 28th (Thursday)

I am so sorry your day has ended this way.

Can you try to reclaim the evening? Have him put up the video game...and play a board game or cards together? Go for an evening walk? Recapture some of the good day? How about him not playing that game? Is than an option?

Take care of yourself and be gentle. This is part of the roller coaster. It is just so painful.


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1591 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, November 28th (Thursday)

He changed the video game. Lol. We are about to reclaim the day


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, November 28th (Thursday)

You GO get this day back for yourselves!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4785 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, November 28th (Thursday)

Sorry you triggered but it sounds like you handled it together and communicated well.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3785 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, November 28th (Thursday)

We are about to reclaim the day


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25258 | Registered: Aug 2011
brkn_heartd
Member
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, November 28th (Thursday)

Glad to hear it!!


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1591 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Gotmegood
Member
Member # 41407
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, November 28th (Thursday)

Today was okay here too. WH very helpful with cooking, dishes, etc. it was a day spent doing things together....with the same goal. And now he's asleep and snoring and the movie of my WH and the prostitute begin......


Me: faithful wife 62.
Him: WH 64 , prostitute 20 yr old
DDay: 8-13-2013
Status: boinging up and down like a yo-yo

Posts: 462 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Florida
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 6:22 AM, November 29th (Friday)

Yep, got me good, exactly like that. Someone in another thread said to make those movies in low quality black and white, and your own memories of you and WH together in high def, and just make the good movies stretch until they cover it, and that's all you can see. It works for the most part.

My h is terrified of IC. He's a feeling stuffer... I think he's terrified of FEELINGS. Which likely led us here, in the first place. The talking we are doing... Is creating real intimacy between us. Like... For the first time since we've been together. But.. It's not enough. He has to reject everything he knew about sex, and learn it all over. (Abuse survivor) I need (and he needs) more than "I hate what I have done and won't do it again." I took that at face value before. He's open to MC, so maybe that will help ease him into IC.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 9