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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: He's crawling out from under his rock
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, November 29th (Friday)

I knew a week of silence from ex-shat was too good to be true. Well, he hasn't actually texted me yet.
His step mom just called me because she and his dad were invited by ex-shat to a birthday party for Teslet on Sunday night.
His step mom knew we were out of town, so she called to check if something had changed.
Nope, nothing has changed, we are observing the state guidelines...and I get Teslet for the thanksgiving holiday and holiday schedule trumps birthday schedule.
But what-the-fuck-ever. Create your stupid ass drama. Keep casting me as the vindictive horrible bitch.
Try to continue stringing your dad along.
Keep playing the victim.
Keep distracting yourself from the real issue: you are a piss poor excuse of a parent and human being.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4553 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
IrishLass518
Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, November 29th (Friday)

Well, I guess in his fantasy world you're still the one to blame. It's gotta suck to be so delusional that you can't look in the mirror and own your own actions. Maybe it's a relief for them to never be in control however I like sailing my own ship, good or bad it's mine and I can learn and grow from it. Good luck Tesla, I believe that the drama llama is on it's way to your door


Me: 45 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 22, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1676 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
travels
Member
Member # 20334
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, November 29th (Friday)


Is he illiterate? Just curious because you always have to explain the things in writing to him.

Did you explain it to his stepmom?


When one door closes, another door opens. It's the journey through the hallway that sucks.

Rest In Peace Bo the Beagle 1996-2011


Posts: 3754 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: PA
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, November 29th (Friday)

Sigh. He used to be literate.
Now he's just spinning his own reality. It is truly sad.
I explained to step mother who explained to his dad. His dad said he was still going to show up and act like he didn't know. It must be painful to watch your son do this.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4553 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
hummingbird8
Member
Member # 25086
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, November 29th (Friday)

Doe it say in guidelines that holidays trump birthdays? I would think that both parents get some time with the child on birthdays no matter if it's a holiday.

Posts: 452 | Registered: Aug 2009
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, November 29th (Friday)

Custodial parent gets child for thanksgiving in odd numbered years. Thanksgiving holiday runs 6 pm Wednesday through 7 pm Sunday.
Non-custodial parent gets time with child day before birthday in odd numbered years....
....but....
There is a provision that says when child's birthday falls on holiday time that the child's birthday shall be celebrated with the parent who is who the child is spending the holiday time with.

That seems fairly clear to me. And while it may not seem fair, somewhere in the next 13 years, I'm sure it will fall his way and 'even' out.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4553 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, November 29th (Friday)

The stupidest part of it is Telsa, if he were acting like a human being, you probably could have worked something out. If he hadn't been pulling all the BS he's been pulling lately, and come to you saying something like, "Hey, I realize it's your Thanksgiving and going out of town, but would it be possible for you to plan to be back at maybe 4pm on Sunday so I could see the little guy for his birthday? I'd appreciate it." You just might have said yes, that's reasonable. The fact that he's been a total ass over the past few months means you can't and won't bend, because you KNOW it won't be appreciated. It's sad, but I hope you two are enjoying your holiday!


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5372 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, November 29th (Friday)

Before all of the bullshit he started pulling, we actually had arranged for ex-shat to have Teslet for thanksgiving and his b-day. But then he has start the crap about having stripper whore pick Teslet up while he gets more sleep. Sorry, I'm not accommodating that bullshit. I've worked with this guy on visitation but when I want him to work with me on a schedule that maximizes his time with Teslet, suddenly he's throwing a hissy fit. Fine. So we disagree and are observing the state guidelines instead.
He brought this on himself. And all he has to do to get back what he had before is negotiate a new visitation schedule where he is honest about his work schedule.
It's frustrating to me because this is in his power to fix and yet he insists on being a victim. And I cannot bend on this. I'm sticking to the letter of the guidelines because the only person he cares about is himself.

I have had a wonderful thanksgiving with my son and I will not let this latest fuckery pull me down into his bullshit drama. He just texted that he didn't understand how i got to have Teslet for his birthday...he's planning a party for him.
I'm going to send him the references in the guidelines and he can figure it out from there. Then I'm turning off my phone.
Oh and that message last week where he goes on about how he forgot to send Teslet's support for the last month but al I have to do is remind him...he won't be offended...blah, blah, blah...
Yeah, no support sent to the state.
This guy needs to fall off the face of the earth. It would be no great loss to humanity.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4553 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, November 29th (Friday)

Is there any way you can have his wages garnished since he keeps "forgetting."

(And with this dumbass, I'm not sure if he's "forgetting" or forgetting, so I might be giving him too much credit when I use quotes :)


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3266 | Registered: Dec 2011
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, November 29th (Friday)

He just texted that he didn't understand how i got to have Teslet for his birthday...he's planning a party for him.

FFS. Dude. Get. A. Lawyer.

Is he doing this because he is supremely stupid, high or do you really think he is trying to stir up drama? I have to think it is stupidity or stupor.

I don't think he's being successful in making you out to be a vindictive, horrible bitch. He's making himself look like an incompetent baboon. He signed the fucking thing - too bad for him if he didn't read or understand it.

How many times can you get this shit wrong?

Did he tell Teslet about this party? Are you still using Google Calendar?

I'm glad you turned your phone off. Keep doing what you're doing. It is the only way you have a shitshow in hell of him going back into his box. Whilst it would be nice, its not essential to your happiness - remember this.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5422 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Housefulloflove
Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, November 29th (Friday)

Sigh. He used to be literate.
Now he's just spinning his own reality. It is truly sad.

It's tragic. How a person can write, produce, direct and star in their own melodrama but not understand what causes their fucked up situations is beyond me!


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
soveryweary
Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, November 29th (Friday)

Tesla,
He is a puss poor excuse of a parent and human being.
I hope he quickly crawls back under his rock.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 604 | Registered: May 2011
Topic Posts: 12