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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Does this look like stalking?
JerseyCowgirl
Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 5:23 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

I did in house separation. Then he moved out after divorce when I got the house. So many strange things started happening that I assumed it was him but could never prove. It finally made me sell and move to undisclosed location. Hoping for input on the following that it was him and did anyone else have this and your take on it?
**my mail forwarded 4 X's
**Online account broken into
**Shed broken into
**Gasoline poured around shed
**My email given out to others as his
**Singles clubs calling me
**My bank receives phone call that I am deseased
**My email broken into
**Rewards cards opened at stores in his name with my info


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 336 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 5:34 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

I would contact the police--opening accounts with your information and trying to convince the bank you are deceased is IDENTITY THEFT and subject to CRIMINAL PROSECUTION.

Don't mess around. Whoever is doing this (and we all know who it is) needs the cold carp of reality, such as the police showing up at his door and the cybercrimes unit tailing him.

Seriously. Don't pass go, don't collect $200--go directly to the police. Print out EVERYTHING and file any complaint they are willing to take. Get this on the radar of the local police.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29666 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
Thefly559
Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 5:49 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Not exactly that but similar.

Names changed from ours to just mine
Bill mailing address changed from hers to my new place
She got a new credit card under our name
She financed a new mattress the day before she had me removed

So yes be careful of this new person. The stranger that you married . Do not trust him. That is what works for me. Fight fire with fire. All the best.


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 682 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
JerseyCowgirl
Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 6:02 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

So it is not me. Thank you. I shortened the list ... there was way more. Police and Prosecutors told me I can do nothing because cannot prove it is him. One company tapped the phone call but even at the urging of the police refused to let me hear the tape. My electric company added his name to my account and then he tried to have service disconnected. Since I left my old employer tells me his doctors bills are now being sent there. Only he could have given the address. I now sit and wait to see if I start getting his mail or calls at my new location. It is like my life on hold and hard to heal.


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 336 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
WeepingBuddhist
Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Yikes, what a petty, sad little man. thank goodness you're out of that relationship!

Keep your attorney in the loop and document everything you can. Good luck!


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 615 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
anewday78
Member
Member # 39357
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

**my mail forwarded 4 X's
On top of the Identity Theft/Cyber Crimes Catwoman mentioned, messing with somebody's mail is a FEDERAL OFFENSE. I would also report this to the post office and see what you can do in terms of taking legal action.

Posts: 350 | Registered: May 2013
Holly-Isis
Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Seriously they can't prove anything? WTH!

The gas around the she'd is most concerning to me. It's a indicator of potential violence. Please stay safe!


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11229 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
JerseyCowgirl
Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

I so do appreciate everyone's concern...never would have believed he would turn so nasty so I gave up the fight; sold the house; moved out of state and returned to maiden name. I got so tired of calling the police and post office and being told there is nothing they can do. But on a good note only one person there has my new location and she has been getting restricted calls about the sale of my home and thankfully she is keeping quiet..she is a close friend and my real estate agent. I think I have a few people beat on strange divorces...soon to be ex decided to cheat with the female lawyer he first hired and his 2nd lawyer (a man) proceeded to have a fling with my female lawyer so I got royally screwed in my divorce. So good thing I got away!


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 336 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
MissMouseMo
Member
Member # 38562
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, December 4th (Wednesday)

Don't forget the State Atty General and federal law enforcement agencies.

The more people who know, the greater likelihood of finding someone who will listen and act.

An additional resource would be a women's shelter in your new area. They may have contacts that a mere Jane Q Public wouldn't have. It's not going to hurt to give them a call.

Would the gasoline be considered a terroristic threat? Call police non-emergency numbers so conversations are recorded. Even if local police can't / won't investigate, get crime reports on everything you can, even if you have to go to the station to get them written. Get a file going and document everything.


It is the gut-wrenching, down-to-your-soul honesty that helps so much. ~paraphrased from CancunCrushed
"I edit, therefore I am." -BionicGal

Posts: 364 | Registered: Feb 2013
Random thoughts
Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 6:07 AM, December 4th (Wednesday)

This might be a long shot but try contacting your former politician about the stalking and that nothing was done by the local police to resolve the problem.

Yrs ago a woman from Brazil married a NJ man had an affair back in Brazil, told her husband she was taking their son back home to Brazil to visit, she never came back divorced him, kept the son married the lover and had another child by new husband, the ex tried everything to get his son stateside only to run into red tape, finally he contacted his state Rep and the Rep got the ball rolling.

The exwife died while all of this was going on and still the new husband and wife's family would not return the son but finally maybe 5 yrs he got his son back


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1608 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
Holly-Isis
Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 6:32 AM, December 4th (Wednesday)

Have you turned those lawyers into the state bar association?


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11229 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
seriouslylostit
Member
Member # 23987
Default  Posted: 12:23 AM, December 6th (Friday)

One up him - get him a subscription to a gay magazine or sign him up for the KKK. I bet it will stop!

Posts: 843 | Registered: May 2009
Rainbows
Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 2:24 AM, December 6th (Friday)

My ex did the same online things (and a few others) and I filed a police report. At the time I didn't realize, but someone pretending to be you online is considered Identity Theft.

It's kind of new for law enforcement to investigate and pursue it, so you have to provide as much documentation as possible.


There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 411 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
HIDINGFROMCRAZY
Member
Member # 27592
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, December 6th (Friday)

Yes, it's stalking, identity theft, and general harassment.

I had the same problem - but from the bat shit crazy OW. She lived in another state, so the police in my locale claimed they didn't have jurisdiction (most of it occurred over the internet) and I got the same runaround from the police in her state. This went on for OVER TWO YEARS.

She finally pushed me over the edge when she sent a long, anonymous letter to my employer, claiming I had violated several laws and filed false returns (I'm a CPA). Redoubled my efforts and luckily there was a new, youngish district attorney in her town who took on the case. Detectives were real helpful - went out to interview her twice, and seized her computers as evidence. Oh, and being bat shit crazy she admitted to all of it - proudly (she was always careful to use throwaway phones when calling or texting, and had umpteen fake identities on the internet - she was very careful to never do anything that could be traced to her).

They wound up not prosecuting, but at least the almost daily harassment stopped. Haven't heard from her since. Have you gone directly to the District Attorney? That's what finally worked for me. Good luck - and do something. Take your power back.


Me: BS 58
Him: FWH - 60
Dday #1 - around Feb, 2007
Dday #2 - around Christmas, 2009
3 children - 30,26,23

I cannot prevent the Birds of Sorrow from passing over my head, but I can keep them from building a nest in my hair.


Posts: 470 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: GA
Topic Posts: 14