SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Prayers, Energy, or chicken entrails
WeepingBuddhist
Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

whatever you got, send it my way, please? Meeting with STBX at 5 at the marriage counselor's and will inform him that he is a STBX.

I would hope after nearly 20 years together this all goes smoothly but then, his behavior the past year has been unfathomable to me.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:24 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Yikes. Good luck!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9502 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Rainbows
Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Sending you light.

Hope it all flows smoothly with grace and ease.


There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 395 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Good Luck

My dog killed a squirrel yesterday. I will provide a ceremonial tossing of it's entrails into the garbage on your behalf today.

The waiting must be tough!


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8439 | Registered: Apr 2008
Sparkles
Member
Member # 39901
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Good luck today. It's another step forward even if though it can be difficult. I hope this goes well for you.

Posts: 138 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: In a better place
WeepingBuddhist
Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Thanks, everyone. Blessed be your dog, Hex!

The next few hours are going to be difficult. I feel as though I'm just waiting for the rest of my life to begin. One of my friends is certain that this will be really hard for him while I'm pretty sure this will come as a relief. Who knows how he will react. I just know it's not going to be my problem.

[This message edited by WeepingBuddhist at 11:49 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)]


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
atsenaotie
Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

I just know it's not going to be my problem.

^^^ This

Best wishes.


FBS 54
Separated and Divorcing

Posts: 4113 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

((WB))

your screen name initials are the initials of two of my SI favorites WildBananas and Wondering Bull

The next few hours will be worth the wait. My feelings have often surprised me in similar situations during the whole process. Embrace whatever those feelings are...relief, sadness, anger...whatever. Just know that you made this decision with a clear head when you weren't overwhelmed by emotions. Fall back on that knowledge if it gets tough.

Don't be surprised to see, shock, anger and sadness all from him. Regardless...you are right...not your problem! Your paths have now diverged. You get to walk your own. He can stand at the intersection and stay as he is or he can choose to grow and take his own path ... either way, his is not yours any longer

Wishing you peace and contentment at the end of this.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8439 | Registered: Apr 2008
WeepingBuddhist
Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

sounds like I am in good company!

I am feeling all those things. I'm sad, angry, hurt but mostly I am relieved. I thought I would be scared but no fear thus far and that surprises the hell out of me! Anxiety and I are besties, usually. Few decisions have ever felt so totally right.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

My dog killed a squirrel yesterday. I will provide a ceremonial tossing of it's entrails into the garbage on your behalf today.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3301 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Sending you prayers and positive and clear energy. (((((WB)))))


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2145 | Registered: Oct 2012
Lostandpregnant
Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

I hope it goes as good as it possibly can <3


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Sending you energy!


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5533 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Tripletrouble
Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

That's a hard conversation. Sending you lots of good mojo and peace.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 633 | Registered: May 2013
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

hope it has gone or is going well. lots of good mojo for you now!


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8439 | Registered: Apr 2008
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Sending prayers...don't know your time zone, so don't know if I missed it, if it's during, or WHAT!

Please update us when you have the opportunity....


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1832 | Registered: Aug 2013
soveryweary
Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

I hope everything turned out ok.....
Thinking of you.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 621 | Registered: May 2011
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Sending you mojo-- I hope that the one thing you feel is the lightness of freedom.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3572 | Registered: Oct 2011
IrishLass518
Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

I'll light a candle and send you peace. Good luck and may your path to freedom be blessed.


Me: 45 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 22, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1720 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday)

Hoping it went well and you are out with a friend....


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3542 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
WeepingBuddhist
Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 5:58 AM, December 4th (Wednesday)

Thanks everyone! It went fine, as far as those things go. He was surprised and hurt and I was worried about him. He has found a place to stay though and will be moving out. AAAAAND the married GF is still coming to visit this weekend, so he is all good! I'm fine, too and just trying to decide if I should tell the OBS.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, December 5th (Thursday)

Thank you for the update! I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling fine and that he is moving out! I've read that the OBS needs to be told.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2145 | Registered: Oct 2012
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, December 5th (Thursday)

Please tell the OBS. I wish that someone had told me sooner.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3301 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, December 5th (Thursday)

How are you feeling with a little time and distances?


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8439 | Registered: Apr 2008
WeepingBuddhist
Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, December 5th (Thursday)

I've heard that, too. I will be seeing my IC today and I'll talk about it. I am not sure if new girl is coming now, or not. It is selfish of me, but I know if I just leave it alone things with STBX will be easier.

Our house is pretty large, so he is in the guest room and we'll talk timelines when I get back in town on Sunday. I anticipate him moving out by the end of January. We're being civil and crying a lot.

[This message edited by WeepingBuddhist at 11:02 AM, December 5th (Thursday)]


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
WeepingBuddhist
Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, December 5th (Thursday)

Hexed, I still feel totally relieved. I'm more sad than I would have imagined, though. I'm optimistic and my friends are the most fabulous people on the planet.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

(((WB)))

Yes, tell the other BS.

And ... everything is as it should be.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 738 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Topic Posts: 27