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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Thank you for exposing your true self to everyone, Gnat.
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 12:36 AM, December 4th (Wednesday)

I apologize in advance for how lengthy this is.

So, the Gnat just dug himself into a big hole with people that once respected him. Backstory is that our DD attended a co-op preschool for three years that was a part of a church/congregation. If you aren't familiar with co-op schools, they are very community focused and parents are expected to play a major role in the day to day goings on at the school. DD was there for three years and during that time, we grew very close to many of the other families. We also attend services at the congregation, so we know many families there too. It is a wonderful community and many are like family to me now (they were to the Gnat at one time too).

So, since the news of the A broke out to the public, the Gnat has shown his face very little. My dd is in K now and attends a private school on the same grounds of this preschool/congregation, but not it is not affiliated with the two. However, many of these same families are now at the same private school. He has weaseled his way out of clean up day, parent performance day, school conferences, etc.

The church/preschool are having their annual fundraiser auction this weekend. The Gnat does lighting, sound, etc. for events for a living. The past two years he has done the lighting and sound for the event. December is a very busy month for him work wise and every year I got a little nervous when he said he would do this. See he likes to do the "nice guy" thing and is afraid to say no to people. He then overextends himself and disappoints everyone. The past two years he did come through, but only because I made sure he did.

A couple of months ago, the person organizing the auction asked if it would be okay to ask him to do the lighting/sound again (they are aware of the A and divorce). I told them I was fine with that, but that I didn't want to be involved in any way. The Gnat of course, said no problem and that he would do it. Well, lo and behold, I heard today that as of a couple of weeks ago, he has just stopped responding to their inquiries. So instead of just being a man, he is showing his castrated self and is afraid to tell them he is unable to do it or that he's just too chicken shit to show up to the event. Instead of just telling them no outright, he strung them along saying he would do it and is now bailing on them. Yes, they have repeatedly called/emailed him and he simply doesn't respond.

Thankfully, they have a backup plan, but I told them "now, you know the PA bullshit I dealt with for 10 years". Yes, this is the kind of shit I dealt with on a daily basis. He is the king of PA. I'm just glad that many others have experienced this first hand now too. Now, I really doubt he's going to show his ugly mug at any school events. Of course, DD is the one that has to pay the price.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 897 | Registered: Mar 2013
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, December 4th (Wednesday)

I have a Gnat, too. The only reason he has a business is because I kept him on track - he dropped the ball, I sorted it out, he resented me for it. I got told last night I was controlling.

Well, now he is my ex and I'm detaching. He can exist entirely on his own. He's already looking shocked at all the bills he has to pay for his business overhead - I dealt with all of that. Balancing his chaotic finances was a nightmare and the only way I could do it was by constantly subsidizing him.

After the divorce I have less money but I am better off. How is this possible? Because I am not paying for him.

Mine doesn't want anyone to know, either. Good luck with that!


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, December 4th (Wednesday)

That's funny because the Gnat always wanted to go into business for himself, but I wouldn't have it. I would have had to run the business myself too. He also called me controlling because I made sure we had a roof over our kids' heads, savings and retirement.

All of that cramped his style so he found an OW who is just as irresponsible as he is .

[This message edited by newlysingle at 10:14 AM, December 4th (Wednesday)]


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 897 | Registered: Mar 2013
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, December 4th (Wednesday)

Good for you for saying that you wanted no part of the whole thing.

They knew the risk, and they asked him anyway. Now they learned, now they won't ask him anymore.

Win for you!

I say let him slink back into his hole, and stay there.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3348 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Lostandpregnant
Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, December 4th (Wednesday)

That's awesome. Not for the school, but for validation, if nothing else. It's funny how they all seemed to think we were "controlling" when in reality we helped them not fuck up their lives..now they get to figure it out alone.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, December 4th (Wednesday)


All of that cramped his style so he found an OW who is just as irresponsible as he is .

Yes! OW1 got evicted last December from her grand house owing $7000.

I'm so glad you did not let him run a business. It has been very hard and I am incredibly relieved to be out of it. Ex looked really miserable yesterday when he opened the bill for his professional listing dues. He never paid attention to expenses before. But that's all changing now.....


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, December 4th (Wednesday)

All of that cramped his style so he found an OW who is just as irresponsible as he is .

I knew we were married to the same man. I knew it.
Yep, Mr. Shrekf...er same same. He found a bottomfeeder to support his laziness and selfishness. Let them whores have em.
You and I were both the reason they didn't fall on their faces.
He had the ability and the intelligence for all of his cockamamie schemes, he just didn't have the follow thru and drive.
He is out of work as of 7 Dec and hasn't been doing his resume or nearly as many applications. Everytime my lawyer called him between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. he was always knocked out asleep and could barely not slur his speech until he shook the sleep off.
Shrek is too stupid to push him to get a damn job.
Meh, whatever, I'm garnishing his retirement check for his half of the mortgage so he can work or not. Not my problem if he loses his expensive apartment or brand new, expensive SUV.
Hey, and he can now eat junk food 3X a day and get fat and his cholesterol go up again. NMP anymore. She is disgusting so she would probably be ecstatic if he got as obese as her.
Gnat is a loser, and now everybody knows what a front he put on for years.
I'm real sorry for your kids though. That bites big time.
At least they have a Mom to show them what right looks like.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2237 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, December 5th (Thursday)

It's funny how they all seemed to think we were "controlling" when in reality we helped them not fuck up their lives..now they get to figure it out alone.
This is so true!!


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3348 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, December 5th (Thursday)

It does seem to be a common thing that these WHs are irresponsible twats.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 897 | Registered: Mar 2013
Housefulloflove
Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

"It's funny how they all seemed to think we were "controlling" when in reality we helped them not fuck up their lives..now they get to figure it out alone."

Yes!

Newlysingle, it seems like once that first cat is let out of the bag, they all come flying out screeching!


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

I kept him on track - he dropped the ball, I sorted it out, he resented me for it. I got told last night I was controlling.

Ugh, I got this too...maybe the reason we're in this forum and not in R is because our WH are like this?


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - Susp EA 'The Baker'
COW - EA/PA 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
COW - Susp EA 'MiniMe'

Posts: 994 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 11