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Wayward Side
User Topic: Triggers
kmom2662
Member
Member # 41494
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, December 5th (Thursday)

Everywhere I go, everything I do, there seem to be things that remind me of the terrible thing I did-- music on the radio, a mention on TV of a particular part of the country, things at work. I feel like locking myself in the house, but that doesn't help either, because the guilt and shame are in my head, so there's no escaping it, no matter what I do. I'm revolted by all of the things that remind me of that 2-month period. Yesterday, H and I found out that OM had viewed my linked-in page 6 weeks ago, 3 weeks after a very strongly worded NC email from me. I never use that account, actually forgot it existed, so we found it by accident. It started a whole new wave of pain, worry, and anger. I saw my husband fall apart all over again. We talked about it all evening; I ended up throwing up from the anxiety. I have IC again on Monday, just needed to vent a little to make it through the day.


Me-- WW, 49
Him-- BH, 53 (bobf)
Married 22 years
OEA, chat/email with multiple people over an 8 week period, 8/2013-10/4/2013
D-day 10/4/13
Working on reconciliation

Posts: 69 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: United states
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

kmom...

It's all a process, there are no quick fixes to get around it all. The only way through it is go through it.

I think it's really positive that you both talked in such detail about it...that's a very good sign


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197186 | Registered: May 2002
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

kmom,

The early days royally suck. I remember them well.

I agree with DS. You have to go thru it, not around it. With time and hard work, it will lessen.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6145 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Topic Posts: 3