SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Well, I guess that's that
TheRealDeal
Member
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

the writing was on the wall. I held out hope. I really thought we'd make it. I know in my heart I did everything I could, but after 18 years, its over. poof, just like that. we talked again last night and he decided he definitely wants out. so I'm letting him go

my heart is breaking. I know I'll make it, I've only grown stronger since May, but it sure hurts like hell to hear those words "it's over"

so I'm now down in D/S forum. no need to be in general or reconciliation any longer.


Me: 45, him: 53
together 18 years
DDay1 March 2013, Dday2 April 27, 2013, Dday3 June 1, 2013
We are in R and trying to make it
Never lose yourself trying to hang onto someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Posts: 242 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
PhoenixRising88
Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

(((((RealDeal))))


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 426 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

Aw, honey. ((((realdeal)))) You'll find a lot of great support here. We've got you.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24435 | Registered: Aug 2011
HurtsButImOK
Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

((TheRealDeal))

The death of hope is very painful, be gentle with yourself and allow yourself time to grieve and mourn.

(((TheRealDeal)))


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 722 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
WeepingBuddhist
Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

(((realdeal)))

it's going to be hard but you can do it.


Me: BS 46
Him: LCB--lying, cheating bastard 50
D-Day 4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 530 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
careerlady
Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

((Realdeal)) I have recently started off in the divorce process. We''ll get through this together


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 935 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
msk99
Member
Member # 29293
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

((Realdeal))


BS (Me): 40 STBXWW (Her): 40
M: 15 Years, 2 Awesome Boys
Divorced

Five simple rules of happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.


Posts: 712 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Alberta
Lostandpregnant
Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

Hugs. I'm so sorry.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
whatdoto
Member
Member # 28555
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

((Therealdeal))

You will be OK. Really. I was married 17 years and poof! all gone. I've only been divorced 2 months. Take one day at a time and be good to yourself.

Hugs


"If your ideal image of yourself is in the future, it's going to stay there".

Posts: 1187 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Texas
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

(((TheRealDeal)))


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
gypsybird87
Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

((the realdeal))

So sorry you find yourself here, but you are in good company. This is great group, always ready with advice and support, or just a virtual hug.

You'll be okay.


Me: Looking forward to the future
Him: Left behind in the past

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. ~ JK Rowling


Posts: 664 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

I'm sorry, Honey. We'll walk with you. You're not alone.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9299 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

I remember making the move from Reconciliation to this forum. Fucking hated it. Then within two weeks I felt on top of the world; I loved my newfound freedom!

Then I spent the next couple months crying and drinking and crying. It's not easy, but it can be done. Every few weeks I notice how much stronger I am than I was before.

There are some great people on here. Listen to them, accept their advice, accept their hugs. You'll get stronger too.

Everyone does.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1684 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

Sorry, TRD. We've got your back.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3537 | Registered: Oct 2011
Lyonesse
Member
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

I'm sorry, TRD. D/S is a hard place to be, but I often look at the stories in New Beginnings, and some of them are awesome!

Wish I could send more comfort, but I know you'll get lots of advice and understanding in this forum.


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1780 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

TRD, you've gotten lots of hugs already so I'm going to offer you some practical advice.....
Shield.Up.
Focus on YOURSELF and what YOU deserve because I'll almost guarantee you that your WH's "I'm done" proclamation is going to be followed by some type of Hoover-maneuver on his part in the not-so-distant future.


And {{{{TRD}}}} (because that shit hurts). I'm so sorry.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7705 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
shiloe
Member
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 10:32 PM, December 5th (Thursday)

I am so sorry to hear that.

Hated that I had to move to D/S too. 26yrs. flushed.

However, I made up my mind, I would rather be alone than be with a unrepentant cheater.

Time. It is going to take time.

Slow down. Take care of you.

It is what it is. Life is just plain hard sometimes and loyal, faithful spouses get the sh*t end of the stick.

But, cheaters sometime get what they deserve.

Prepare for a long hard battle.


But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with married ho-worker. Kicked him out, he filed

Posts: 573 | Registered: Mar 2003
Topic Posts: 17