This morning was frosty and cold in Oregon. I sat with my furbabies, sipping coffee and admiring my Christmas tree (even though it was a battle to put up... whole other story!) And suddenly I realized that I felt at peace. Like contented, happy, at peace. The mornings have been a struggle for me, and a time when I've felt the most lonely. But today I realized, I do not miss the way mornings used to be at my house.
I do not miss his longgggg, scalding hot showers that left me with a luke-warm shower every day.
I do not miss his wet bath towel left lying on the bed.
I do not miss his daily clothing drama and proclamations of being too fat for his clothes.
I do not miss that venom being turned on me because whatever item he wanted/needed/could fit his fat ass into was sure to be the one thing I hadn't washed for him.
I do not miss him yelling at his son every morning.
I do not miss glancing at his hand and seeing that yet again, his wedding ring was missing.
And I do not miss being forced to start every day with the depressing local news. Crime, car accident, school budget cuts, political scandal, and don't forget the required daily dose of animal cruelty.... I HATE the local news. XWH knew this but did not care. He wanted the news, so the news was on. Period.
I realized I literally have not watched a single newscast in the 8 months he's been gone. *insert contented sigh here*
This morning wasn't any different from those that have come before it since D-day (well, the Christmas tree is new, lol). What changed was my perspective. I hope this is the beginning of a positive trend.
Wishing all of you peaceful-not-lonely mornings.
Me: Looking forward to the future
Him: Left behind in the past
Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. ~ JK Rowling