Finally had dinner with that friend who worked with XWS and OW for several months after DDay. We were with colleagues, but had a great time together and it went really well. I was happy to have her back, in a sense. I've missed her friendship and she has been patient and loyal as I pull myself together in order for us to be friends again.
While waiting for the valet, we talked about "it" briefly. Quick background: XWS hired her on my say so because I had worked with her at another location and knew she was wonderful. He didn't want to hire her, but I also had a job there and wanted her as a colleague and he relented. I ended up quitting because of his A before she ever got out there. She worked there for about three months, then quit, too, and is now unemployed.
So waiting for the valet I just said to her "I'm so sorry I got you mixed up in all of that. I hope it wasn't awful." She said it wasn't awful, but she's glad she left. I said "I don't know what happened exactly, and I don't know what's true in anything he told me in the last year, but I know he was transferred to X."
Her eyes opened wide and she said "Ooooooh yes." I said "i know he didn't want that. It doesn't look to me like things worked out for him." She said "I'm happy to tell you as much or as little as you want but, um, no. Things were pretty messed up. But I think removing him from Y was best for everyone involved." I said "I know Coworker X pretty much hated him." She remarked that that was definitely the case. I told her that I think something more went on between them than I know, but it makes sense to me now that he may have tried to make her another OW and she wasn't receptive and that brought about the downfall. She said she doesn't know for sure, but basically that that was her suspicion, too.
The cars came and we went our separate ways. We made tentative plans for coffee and gossip.
I feel strangely empowered knowing that things were not all roses out there after I left, that the jobs weren't as fabulous as they seemed, that she ended up hating the place. I feel validated for some reason, even though it has nothing to do with me, really.
I also am invigorated by the possibility of finding out the truth about the extent to which he really betrayed me. It is a little like TT-- but I'm not going to get it from anywhere else!
It's sounding more and more to me like he hit on his direct supervisor and was either rejected or the A went sour quickly. He told me she was crazy, hated him and was incompetent. Maybe she just had boundaries. He eventually ended up with DCOW, who sounded like a pretty pathetic case. In the meantime, I think he alienated everyone around him and ended up transferred.
So all of those late night conversations where he debated with me transferring to that other department for more money and more prestige-- it sounds like the opposite. Maybe he knew the writing was on the wall for him to get in trouble for all of his philandering and was trying to spackle the situation for my benefit to soften the blow of coming out there and learning that he was a schmuck and not the second coming.
It will be interesting if we ever get that coffee...