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User Topic: I will not engage in their drama
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, December 9th (Monday)

My WH just posted a link to his FB page (He rarely if ever uses FB, but OW uses it frequently). It's a link to an article about a group at work that he runs and OW works as part of the team…and dont you know…there's a big old picture of the group, with him standing right next to her with his arm around her.


Yeah - we are still married and still living together…could you have a little respect?

Apparently not.

I will not be acknowledging it to him. It's a picture of the group of people who were more important to him than coming to his daughter's first family session in her new outpatient program….it was their christmas party...


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Kalliopeia
Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, December 9th (Monday)

how old is the pic?
If it is newer than DD then wtf?

He would be hearing about it from me.


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, December 9th (Monday)

the pic is from last week….

I'm sure posting it was OW's idea. I will not be engaging. It wont make a difference if I say anything anyway. He doesn't care if it hurts me or not.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
karmahappens
Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, December 9th (Monday)

Is he friends with his kids on facebook?

I am sorry he is such an ass


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3822 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Kalliopeia
Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, December 9th (Monday)

Your husband knows the status quo. He controls his own self and what he does with his body.

It was his choice to disrespect you by not only what he did before, but even standing close to her and putting his arm around her, knowing you may see it.

He is still in the affair on some level.

I am so angry for you. His stuff needs heftied and dropped on the kerb.


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, December 9th (Monday)

Only our oldest DD18 has FB - the other kids are not allowed yet. I often wonder how she will feel when she realizes this person is her dad's AP.

Kalliopeia - the A is still active and going on. Wh is waiting for the "go ahead" from DD17's psych and counselor to leave - she is not currently equipped, emotionally, to deal with any of this.

I asked him to please be respectful and not flaunt the A. Guess that request was lost on him.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
headdesk
Member
Member # 40787
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, December 9th (Monday)

I would be bringing all of this up to the dr - if he has a more complete understanding of the picture he may not suggest that WH stay around at all.


Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).

Posts: 273 | Registered: Sep 2013
Kalliopeia
Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, December 9th (Monday)

oh. ftg

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
overandone
Member
Member # 39162
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, December 9th (Monday)

Bastard! How will DD feel when she sees this? How about pointing that out to him?


Me - BW (54)
Him - fWS (61)
kiddies - daughters 22 and 27,son 22,
d-day - April 18 2012
R - but lots of bumps in the long road

Posts: 227 | Registered: May 2013 | From: uk
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, December 9th (Monday)

So he knows if your DD finds out, it might send her over the edge..yet he posts a pic of him with his arm around his whore on facebook?

I would consider that abusive. Towards you and your children.

This man is a shitty father and a lousy excuse for a man.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7491 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, December 9th (Monday)

You know headdesk, I never thought of that….mentiong it to the doc/counselor as additional information…

the DD that has the FB account is not the one with the difficulties right now. Although the one with FB is going to be CRUSHED when she finds out. Her Daddy is her everything…good Christian role model, family man, etc, etc.

Its just going to suck all the way around.

I cant even guess how my 15 year old son is going to handle it.

The pic was a group photo…but he was standing next to her with his arm around her…it wouldn't be obvious to anyone else that they are a couple, I dont think…its just the POINT….just keep throwing it in my face….


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, December 9th (Monday)

(what does "ftg" stand for??)


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, December 9th (Monday)

Fuck that guy. FTG.

So appropriate in so many cases.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7697 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
cantgetup
Member
Member # 36146
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, December 9th (Monday)

Ugh for you. You keep your eye on the ball for those kids.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Jul 2012
Holly-Isis
Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 5:02 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)

If it wasn't for the kids I'd say hack into his account and change his relationship status to "in a relationship with OW."

If you're not going to block him, at least start taking screen caps of these little digs. You never know when you're going to need proof and even if it's not much, a preponderance of evidence goes a long way towards fighting the "you're imagining things" argument. It can also be used in court in some cases.

FYI- I have my mom blocked and she still has me listed by name in her family list. So your DD might not even be able to notice. She'd have to see your newsfeed and care enough to see if your name is clickable where you're tagged. It sounds like he's already removed all of that though.

I highly recommend blocking for your sanity.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11197 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:32 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)

I've decided just to stay off FB. I don't really post there, just troll around and message a couple of people. I just moved the convo to texting on my phone.

I wont miss FB….I've never been a huge fan anyway….WH doesnt really post there either, which is partially why I think OW posted the link. (she has his login info etc for FB)

Whatever!!

I will say that WH's aunt commented on the photo (she told me so I wouldn't have to go back and LOOK at it again….):

"A picture is worth 1000 words."

She said if it gets deleted she will repost a million times, she's got the time. LOL


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 16