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Reconciliation
User Topic: birthdays
16forever
Member
Member # 37255
Default  Posted: 1:27 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)

This last week was my birthday now before I go further my H had never did anything for my past birthdays some even turned into arguments last year it being the first birthday in our R he did and I loved it. This year no I got a presnt from him and my DD and we had pizza and movie day wich we can do anytime but later promised dinner out just us well no dinner and no party and on my actual birthday day in worked he worked it sucked now this year was a big birthday for him I did dinner out surprise drinks at a bar with friends I always do something special not just movies at home and pizza I also took off his birthday from work .... but he didn't take my birthday off and the plans for us to go to dinner just forgotten I didn't fuss only cuz last year was good but isn't every year supposed to be it made me sad he didn't do more it felt like any old day I guess I feel like I got cheated so many years I should never get cheated or of a actual party I wanted to cry all day I guess I just felt he should make me feel special on my bday but I couldn't say anything to him I just felt like he would blame money or time for the reason but making me feel special that day wouldn't have taken much ....so how are your birthdays while in R


Me:BS
Him:WS
3 awesome kids

Posts: 179 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: My own nightmare
LA44
Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 6:46 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)

Yes ((16forever)), bdays are special. They happen once a year for as many years as we are blessed to have them. I think people are to be treated well everyday but the bday....of course you want a little something extra from those closest to you. Something that said, "I thought of you." Or, "I know you."

I didn't fuss only cuz last year was good but isn't every year supposed to be it made me sad he didn't do more it felt like any old day I guess I feel like I got cheated

I would suggest you either tell him directly or in writing that while he can't change this past bday, it would be nice in the future to put some effort towards the day. You don't have to be nasty about it but you really must let him know how you feel.

Our feelings are hurt so much easier after the I know I would have felt the same way in your shoes. I do try to plan something special for me - by me - regardless.

Also, have you guys read the 5 Love Languages? Perhaps affirmation and gifts are not his thing but if they are yours, then this is how you receive love. Or, you can take the quiz on the web site by the same name. Both do it!

Speak up!


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2303 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Topic Posts: 2