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Reconciliation
User Topic: I think we're moving forward
soconfusednow
Member
Member # 40078
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)

There is a thread about a craigslist meeting gone bad. This morning I told my H about.

He said "I've never done that."(I believe him) Then he wrapped me in his arms & told me "You're safe & I Love You."

This coming from a man that:
A year ago would quickly jerk away if I tried to touch him.
Several months ago said "I wont tell you I love because I don't, but when I do you'll know I mean it."

I think we're moving forward just have to get rid of the voice that keeps asking "but is it really true?"


D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50
WH 52
NC-several
last broken NC 7/2013 (hopefully)
Married 29 years
2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?

Posts: 309 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
atsenaotie
Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, December 10th (Tuesday)

Hi soconfusednow,

I am glad you had a good morning. What has he done in the last 5 months that is different than the first 7 months besides no longer breaking NC? What is different this time than in the 90's? Has he identified what he was looking for in the A? Has he learned and practiced how to maintain boundaries? Has he learned and practiced new coping mechanisms for stress? Has he learned to be open and honest in communication and to avoid avoiding conflict? Has he read and discussed the books Not Just Friends by Glass and/or Sexual Detours by Hines with you?

When he implements real difference, and then sustains it over time, that is when the little voice will begin to drift away.


LTA BS 53
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Separated and Divorcing

Posts: 4089 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
Topic Posts: 2