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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Sighting at the mall
lost4now
Member
Member # 21634
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)

STBXH moved SFOW (slutface OW)in to his apartment about 6 weeks ago. She use to live 5 hours away and I did not have to deal with ever seeing her. Now she lives with STBXH and she has a job here. She isn't going anywhere. I was at the mall with my two teenage daughters last night letting them pick out some clothes from me for Christmas. The oldest daughter hasn't spent anytime with her dad or talked to him since he moved out almost a year ago. And now that SFOW is living with him she never will. The youngest has accepted her and likes her. UGH!!!!

So STBXH calls the youngest as we are getting to the mall to ask her what size her sister wears and then tells her that he and SFOW are at the same mall as us! Oh great....yippee! Now the oldest is upset and wants to go home and the youngest runs off to go greet them. My oldest and I go off shopping. We are coming down the escalator and there they are at the bottom and my youngest is saying her goodbyes....hugging and kissing them both! This is the OW who helped destroy my life. I have to sell my home (that STBXH and I built together), I am financially struggling and she helped destroy my kids! I physically got ill and went and got sick in the bathroom!!!!! UGH!

I thought I was doing so good! I thought I was healing up until that moment. Then I discovered just how far I still have to go!

I really dislike them both so much!!!!!!!!!!


BS - ME 43
WH 44
Married 20 years
DDay #1 12/28/07
DDay #2 9/18/08
DDay #3 12/28/08
Dday #4 11/18/10 (same OW)
Dday #5 8/22/12 (same OW)
2 beautiful daughters
"Love grows where it is nurtured and dies where it is not!"

Posts: 841 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: NJ
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:24 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)

((((lost4now))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25845 | Registered: Aug 2011
BAB61
Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Are you in IC, do you have anyone to talk to about this reaction and how to get yourself past it? It's petty of me, but their relationship has a 75% chance of failing ... idk how you can help your feelings, just know you have support and empathy here.


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)

How awful. How old are your kids?

I KNOW I would puke if I saw OW hugging my daughter.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3427 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)

I wouldn't have bothered hiding my disgust and contempt by running to the bathroom. I would have aimed for their shoes.
But, that's just me. Just saying.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2342 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
lost4now
Member
Member # 21634
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, December 10th (Tuesday)

sparky.....the oldest is 18 and the youngest turns 16 next month.

So much has happened over these past 6 years. So many lies and so much hurt. My STBXH and I were HS sweethearts. We had worked hard and really built a nice life for ourselves and our children. The shock and pain has been so devastating. I went to therapy for two years. I decided to ask him to leave after the last dday and I stopped going to therapy. I felt like I had explored all of my feelings and worked really hard on myself. And for the most part I think I am really doing well. I can't wait for my new life to begin.

The problem is that now she is in the picture full time and I have to face the pain that she brings to my life. Especially now that she has interactions with my youngest daughter. I figured she would move here I just thought I had some time before it happened. I thought I would atleast be divorced first!!! LOL. Like THAT should matter right?!


BS - ME 43
WH 44
Married 20 years
DDay #1 12/28/07
DDay #2 9/18/08
DDay #3 12/28/08
Dday #4 11/18/10 (same OW)
Dday #5 8/22/12 (same OW)
2 beautiful daughters
"Love grows where it is nurtured and dies where it is not!"

Posts: 841 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: NJ
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, December 10th (Tuesday)

You will adjust. You'll always hate it but the shock will wear off. I would consider IC to get you through this transitional phase. Adjusting to your new 'normal'.

I went through it with knowing my precious little girls were around here. It took a few months but the shock and horror wore off. I still loathe it but its not a burning, heaving feeling anymore.

I've been lucky in that I haven't accidentally seen either of those whores even though he and I live quite close to each other (praise the stars!).

I think I'd laugh out loud if I did see them together - they must look ridiculous, people assume she is his surly teenager. .

Your youngest daughter is probably enjoying all of the attention he is raining down on her right now. She doesn't realise she's being used as a pawn to validate what a great dad he is - y'know, the dad whose oldest daughter won't have anything to do with him? Yeah, that's the one. Its intoxicating - I hope she doesn't get burned. But it is something she'll need to learn for herself.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5619 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 7