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User Topic: Time for a song parody fest
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Hey, a few years ago, we did an SI song parody thread at Christmas. We have loads of new members, and it is less than two weeks to December 25, so.....time for another, perhaps?

Here are the rules:

1) Must be an infidelity rant of the first order
2) Must parody an actual Christmas song
3) Actually, there are only two.

Sung to the tune of "Let it Snow"

Oh the weather outside is frightful
And our day has been so fight full,
So since he's a huge assho'
Let hm go, let him go, let him go.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Yay! Okay, let me dig out some of my oldies but goodies...


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7092 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Sung to the tune of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer:

Skankho the brown-nosed 2-legged dear,
Had a very stanky nose,
And if you ever saw her,
You would know for sure she's a ho,

All of the betrayed BS's,
laugh as they call her name,
They'll never let poor WS's,
Join any more 2-legged dear games.

Then one foggy Karma's eve,
karma came to say,
Skank-ho with your nose so brown,
Sorry but your skanky self is going down.

Then all the BS's loved it,
As they shouted out with glee,
All the skank-ho's in the world beware now,
You'll live a life of misery!


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7092 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

And, my favorite, sung to the tune of Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire


H's nuts roasting like they're over an open fire,
Wishing he'd never dipped his dick in a Ho,
Letting his common sense be ruled by desire,
For wicked sluts dressed up like ho's.

WS is a turkey that fucks ho's,
Helps to make the season not so bright,
While his balls burn like Hell all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

He knows that Karma's on it's way,
Loaded with lots of hell and misery on D-day,
And every cheating mother-fucker is gonna cry,
When his spouse leaves without even a goodbye.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
For WS's from one to ninety-two,
Although it's been said many times many ways,
Burn in hell forever and a big FUCK YOU!


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7092 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Good one, Pain.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

I know I have more, but I have to find them...


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7092 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Yeah, I had a file, too, but I can't locate it. Been a while.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
No12turn2
Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

I'm dreaming of a white Ex-mas
Just want my wife to get up and go
Where Iím free to glisten
And my children no longer listen
To hear mean words from that ho


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
No12turn2
Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Joy to the world! Divorce has come
Let me receive some peace!
Let her cheating heart prepare for doom
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven, and heaven and nature sing

Joy to the world! The whore is gone
Let men their songs employ
While fields and floods
Rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Excellent No12! LOL! Feels good to get it out doesn't it?


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7092 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Bravo, no12turn2!!! Well done


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

In the meadow, we can meet a hooker,
And forget my wife and kids are around,
She'll say are you married, I'lll say yes, ma'am,
But this should do the trick to tear it down.

Later on, we'll conspire, and we'll fuck,
I'll be a liar.
It's just for one night
but, oh Tomorrow we'll fight
Slipping into a foggy cheatermind.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 9:15 AM, December 12th (Thursday)]


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
No12turn2
Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

This one is my Fav!

Frosty the Ice Queen was an unremorseful ho
With her corn hole piped and a button nose
and her heart was made of coal
Frosty the Ice Queen is a fairy tale they say
Said she wouldnít go but the children
know how she ruined our lives that day
There must have been some magic in that
jimmy hat they found
For when they placed it on his head
They began to fool around
O
Frosty the Ice Queen
was alive as she could be
And she justified all the hurt and lies
while she blamed that shit on me
Thumpity thump thump
thumpity thump thump
Look at Ice Queen go
Thumpity thump thump
thumpity thump thump
Out of the house you ho
Frosty the Ice Queen knew
that I was hot that day
So she said
"Iíll run and
I'll have some fun
and your heart will melt away
" Down to the village
with her ring not on her hand
Running here and there all
around the square saying
Catch me if you can
She ran around the streets of town
looking for some cock
And he only paused a moment when
She heard me holler "Stop!"
For Frosty the Ice Queen
had to hurry on her way
But she waved goodbye saying
"Don't you cry
I'll regret this all some day
" thumpity thump thump
thumpity thump thump
Look at Frosty go
thumpity thump thump
thumpity thump thump
Out of the house you ho


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
BrokenMomof2
Member
Member # 41219
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Lol! These definitely gave me a good laugh, and I really needed it this morning.


Me: BS, 30
Him: WH, 31, 1 month EA & PA
Married 9 years
Kids: 2 perfect boys
D-day: Nov 3, 2013
Working on R

Posts: 86 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: ND
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

This is kind of an easy one as I didn't have to change a lot of the words as they are perfect in describing most AP's just as is. I consider this a Christmas song because it is a tradition at our house to watch "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" every year.

My rendition of the Mr. Grinch song is as follows:

You're a mean one, Ms. Wench
You really are a heel,
You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Ms. Wench,
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Ms. Wench,
Your heart's an empty hole,
Your crotch is full of spiders, you have harlot in your soul, Ms. Wench,
Why would anyone touch you without a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a foul one, Ms. Wench,
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Ms. Wench,
Given a choice between the two of you I'ld take the seasick crocodile!

You're a rotter, Ms. Wench,
You're the queen of sinful sluts,
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple ruts, Ms. Wench,
You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

You nauseate me, Ms. Wench,
With a nauseous super "naus"!,
You're a wicked dirty yucky and you thrive on fucking boss, Ms. Wench,
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

You're a foul one, Ms. Wench,
You're a nasty wasty wank,
Your mouth is full of unwashed cocks, your soul is full of dank, Ms. Wench,
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, skank"!

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 9:29 AM, December 12th (Thursday)]


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9796 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Hilarious, No12turn2. Always enjoy yours ppga. Very good, steadfast and lynnm.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9796 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

We aim to please! Rats! I can't find my file.

Baby, your clothesíre outside.
Baby, theyíre frozen outside.
I chucked them in those garbage bags.
You spent the evening with that ho-man
You didnít care that we were alone.
So you can turn around and go, man,
And call her on your secret cell phone.

You really can't stay
so baby, it's cold outside.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

This was my submission in 2011. Enjoy!


Away with a stranger
A car for a bed.
My husband f*ed somebody
Else intead.
He loves me, he means it
But why oh why?
Is my radar pinging
With all of his lies?

The cow-skank is lowing
The poor baby wakes.
And my wayward husband
Keeps making "mistakes".
He's sorry, he means it
He'll tell her goodbye.
And stay with me only
Till judgment is nigh.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2779 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Have yourself a merry little fuckfest.
Iíve just let you go.
From now on, youíre living with your ugly ho.
Have yourself a jolly little fuckfest.
Break your marriage vows.
From now on, youíre gonna have to face some rows.

Have yourself a merry little fuckfest.
Iíll divorce your butt.
From now on, youíre trailer living with that slut.
Have yourself a jolly little fuckfest.
Gonna get the house.
From now on, you will be very poor, you louse!

Here we are, not like olden days, happy family days before.
This year, you wonít be living here. Youíve been with your whore.

SoÖ off you go, go on now, Mr. Dickhead.
What the hellójust git!
Youíre homeless? Well, I really just donít give a shit!
Iíll have myself a merry little Christmas now.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Epic!

And steadfast, yours is short but AWESOME!


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7092 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
loveisareddress
Member
Member # 36474
Default  Posted: 12:20 AM, December 13th (Friday)

KC and the Sunshine Band

Not Christmassy but need to vent

Drink a little beer
Holler at the wife
Get down tonight
Get down tonight

Fucking alphahotel


Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.


Posts: 442 | Registered: Aug 2012
iwillNOT
Member
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 12:36 AM, December 13th (Friday)

Haha these are awesome!


To the tune of Silent Night


Silent night, lovely night,
It's just too calm,
No drama in sight.
Oh wait, what's that, an email from the ho
Trigger city, ready set go!
Merry Christmas to me-ee,
Think I'll kick over the tree...

[This message edited by iwillNOT at 12:39 AM, December 13th (Friday)]


Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 44
Together 21 years
Married 14 years
Kiddos 2,6,8,10
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Rugsweep now, pay later. Ask me how I know.

Posts: 512 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
SummerStorm21
Member
Member # 41320
Default  Posted: 4:19 AM, December 13th (Friday)

Love. It.


BW

Posts: 112 | Registered: Nov 2013
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, December 13th (Friday)

iwillNOT, love your last line! So much for the "silent" part!


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
gypsybird87
Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, December 13th (Friday)

To the tune of "Blue Christmas"

I'll have a NEW Christmas without you
Won't waste a tear thinking about you
Decorations of red
on a green Christmas tree
That's right, I decorated!
You can't take that from me

When those blue snowflakes start falling
And those blue memories start calling,
You'll be wasting your life
Now that you've lost your wife
And I'll have a NEW, NEW, NEW Christmas!!


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 912 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Fireflies
Member
Member # 40210
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, December 13th (Friday)

Dedicated to WH - sung to the tune of "let it snow"

Oh the black hole inside me is frightful
And my true self is not so delightful
And since I've got no soul you know
I'll fuck a ho! I'll fuck a ho! I'll fuck a ho!

My selfishness shows no signs of stopping
On ho's mattresses I'll be flopping
My conscience is turned way down low
I'll fuck a ho! I'll fuck a ho! I'll fuck a ho!

My marriage I'll have to rewrite
And the truth I'll just deform
To justify breaking my plight
So with other women I can perform

I've spent so many years lying
Now my wife and kids are goodbying
Because now my wife is in the know
I fucked a ho! I fucked a ho! I fucked a ho!


Me: BS
Him: WS
Go your way,
I'll take the long way 'round,
I'll find my own way down,
As I should.

Posts: 79 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Grr Argh
iwillNOT
Member
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, December 13th (Friday)

Bumping for more laughs, I need some!


Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 44
Together 21 years
Married 14 years
Kiddos 2,6,8,10
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Rugsweep now, pay later. Ask me how I know.

Posts: 512 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
Crushed1
Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 12:55 AM, December 14th (Saturday)

Fireflies...


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9746 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
katmandude54
New Member
Member # 35992
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, December 14th (Saturday)

WW got run over by her AP,
sneaking back to our home Xmas eve
She can claim there was no PA,
but as for me and her STD we believe!

She'd been drinkin' in too much of the fog
And I'd begged her not to go
But she'd been rugsweeping all that evening
So she stumbled out the door into his Ford

When we found her Christmas mornin'
At the scene of the attack
There were tiny dong prints on her forehead
And incriminatin' OM marks on her back


If at first you don't succeed, you're probably screwed.

Posts: 39 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: FLORIDA
IrishLass518
Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, December 14th (Saturday)

These are priceless. I love them. When does the 2 CD set come out in stores?

No12, you sir, have a gift.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
WoundedOpus
Member
Member # 39521
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

These are all AWESOME! Fireflies, just love it


Me: BW 37
Him: WH 38
(DDay: 2/2008)
13 years, 5 kids...Six years of Limbo

ďI don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well." ~ Diane Ackerman


Posts: 178 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 31