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New Beginnings
User Topic: damn damn damn
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

so I'm wrapping Christmas gifts and in the bottom of my wrapping container I come across a drawing from a Christmas of several years ago when we were visiting my sister.
The drawing had a doodle from one of my kids saying "mom" "dad" and their names - then BAM I'm flooded with memories of that particular Christmas when I was married and our kids had two parents at home. I can even smell the cinnamon that filled her kitchen - the memory was so strong!
Before I can stop myself I burst into tears.

My M ended over two years ago.... I thought I was settled and resigned to my new, single-mom life.... When do these triggers end?!


Posts: 474 | Registered: Jun 2012
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

(((hugs)))

Time and new memories will help these feelings to wane.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51906 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
ISPIFFD
Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

((((((PhoenixRisen))))))

I hate to say it, but it takes time...


Me: BW (54)
Him: WH (61)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1814 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

((((Phoenix))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24998 | Registered: Aug 2011
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

I've been divorced 3 years as of tomorrow...and still get triggers....but they lessen over time! Promise.

((BIGHUGZ))


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2716 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, December 12th (Thursday)

Time and new memories will help these feelings to wane.

this^^^
(((hugs)))


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2213 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, December 12th (Thursday)

(((PhoenixRising)))

Holidays are the worst times for missing what "was" but really "wasn't"


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3086 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
broken2
Member
Member # 16935
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, December 12th (Thursday)

Time will help, really it will. I rarely trigger any more and if I do my next thought is how lucky I truly am to be away and gone from him.

Posts: 2031 | Registered: Nov 2007
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, December 12th (Thursday)

((((PhoenixRisen))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
re-separated (in-house), for good (??) <-- should really remove these, shouldn't I...

Posts: 2545 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, December 12th (Thursday)

This is my third Christmas post Dday - it's the best one yet but memories still hit. ((Hugs))


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4456 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
wontdefineme
Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, December 12th (Thursday)

Just keep telling yourself three to five years to work through the trauma. I had not come to SI in a while and didn't need to be here. One stupid text, which I ignored, bought me back again. I keep telling myself, three to five and the finish line gets closer every day.

Posts: 2163 | Registered: Mar 2011
Eranda
Member
Member # 6010
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

They end- believe me. I'm one of the old-timers around here and I can tell you it gets better. A LOT better.

Now when I think of things that happened back then, I don't much care anymore. I like my life now better than I did when I was married. Memories are just that- memories. Without any emotional crap to go along with it LOL.

I think of that time as just something that happened, and now it's over. Nothing more, nothing less.

You will get there.


My Blog: http://allofthewaystohell.com/

Posts: 4226 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: eastern PA
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

(((Phoenix)))

Posts: 34670 | Registered: Mar 2011
NaiveAgain
Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, December 14th (Saturday)

(((Phoenix))))


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15192 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Topic Posts: 14